We call it the “beer tree”, and if my sister, Deborah, is correct, ours may not be pure Redneck (see Gifts for the Redneck on Your List), since we prefer Natural Light to Budweiser. I figure I out to know how to do it since Natural Light was good enough for our redneck wedding. But either way, the Anheuser-Busch® products sport a nice Christmas color theme with the red, wintery blue and shiney sliver.

My other sister, Julia, said I had to give her credit, and credit she deserves. I like to have a real tree for Christmas, but Mama gave me an old hand-me-down artificial tree, and last year my husband said, “We need to have a tree in the garage.”

This might be a redneck thing. We tend to hang out a lot in the garage. We have a couch, a television, the stereo, and of course an extra ‘frig for the beer. Now that we don't have space for a real redneck party, the garage is our “party space,” in part because we don’t smoke in the house, and let’s face it, who cares if beer gets spilled on the concrete floor? Much better than on my carpet!

In spite of the lack of carpet, we have painstakingly decorated the garage interior. Two life-size Richard Petty cutouts flank the refrigerator, and the walls are covered with various NASCAR paraphernalia, North Carolina fishing citations, OBX license plates, an Elvis calendar and a black and white poster of the Man in Black, Johnny Cash.

A few days after Ken’s suggestion, he was at work and Julia was visiting. We decided to put the artificial tree up in the garage. Naturally, Julia and I had a Natural Light or two to enhance the holiday decorating spirit. (Was that pun too terrible?) I had lots of extra lights for the tree, but it wasn’t until Julia’s first “empty” that inspiration struck. She bent the little tab up, perpendicular to the can, and lo and behold, that tab makes a mighty fine Christmas tree hook!

The next night, I started brainstorming. I was sure I could put the empty Natural Light cartons that had piled up next to the trash can to some kind of good use. First, I flattened a few cartons and fashioned a respectable tree skirt. Then I grabbed a pair of scissors and my stapler, and before long I had an impressive paper chain for garland.

Throughout the holidays, various guests added their own touch – an empty cigarette pack here, a stray brand of beer can there. We topped the tree with a big bow made from some cool Elvis-patterned ribbon I had stashed. It's the perfect place to plop those redneck Christmas gifts!

When my sixteen year old daughter came home and saw our Redneck Christmas tree for the first time, she was mortified. “Did you have to put it right in front of the door?” she cried. But within a few days, she, too, was converted. When she hitched a ride home with her teenage friends from school, she made them get out of their cars to come see the tree.

A few weeks ago, the mother of one of my daughter’s friends stopped by for a visit. She’s a fellow-smoker, and as we settled onto the couch in the garage, she asked if we would have the beer tree again this year. Apparently the kids thought it was quite funny.

Of course we will have the tree again! I’ve already started on this year’s addition to the decorations. We’ve saved our beer tabs, and I’m stringing them on red fishing line for a new garland.

Author's Note: I'm so upset I can't find last years photos to add to this hub! But, we'll be putting the tree up Friday, so I'll add illustrations this weekend.

Update 12/3/08: My sisters have promised to email last years pictures. I've loaded this years. The blur is because I'm not used to my new camera phone. Yeah. That's what it is. The camera phone, not the photographer :-)

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