"One more RPG, one less SUV."

Okay, we get it. You hate cyclists. That's fine. We hate you, too.

We hate your carbon footprint, your poisonous exhaust and your toxic personality. We hate your arrogance and general lack of manners.

That's right. You. Mr. freshly coiffed big silver hair behind the wheel of your silver Infinity coupe at the John Hoag traffic circle at 7:03 A.M. this morning. What was your problem? Don't know what a "Yield" sign means? Been too long since you had your driving lessons, grampa? Don't remember that the law says you must yield right of way to traffic in the rotary?

Yeah, you. I'm orbiting this thing leaning into the turn at twenty-five miles an hour going faster than the cars behind me and I'm signalling clear as day where I'm going, and we make eye contact, and what do you do? You decide it's time to lunge your sports car out at me on my bicycle. You've got to assert yourself, right? The fancy car and the big house in Newton aren't enough for you, right? Your own space is not enough for you. You got to have my space, too.

Okay, Dick, or whatever your name is. You got my attention. Yeah, you made me swerve away from your bumper into the path of the car behind me. You got me to endanger my life for your arrogance. Guess you won, eh, pal? Guess again.

I'll bet you take the same way to work every single day, don't you? I'll bet tomorrow I can find you at Hoag Circle at around 7 A.M. just like today. Right? Humans are creatures of habit. And although your lineage probably has a large percentage of rodent in it, you're probably still mostly kind of human.

One of these days maybe I'll be there waiting for you, eh, pal? Maybe I'll have my old bike and I'll dump myself and the bike right on your hood. While I'm laying there I'll call the police and my attorney. I have a GREAT attorney, pal. Maybe I'll have a friend take incriminating photos. "Driving to endanger" has a nice criminal sound to it. Oooh! I have mysterious neck pain requiring costly medical care. I'll bet you have a lot of equity in a nice house, don't you? My attorney is already drooling. He'll get it, too.

Or maybe I'll just have a seat on the grass with a cinderblock, and when you show up, I'll throw the cinderblock through your windshield. Then I'll get you out of that car and we'll see how tough you are without a couple thousand pounds of steel around you.

You know, if I were you, pal, I might consider driving a different route in the morning. Because I'll be looking for you, buddy.

Have a nice day.