Working Versus Non Working Parents

This hub was done after reading Maggs224 hubs then going toTamcors hub and reading the actual "starting article". It was very well written and got me to thinking about a lot of things in our children’s lives.

My David and I, except for the first six years of our children's lives, were both working parents. We felt that in order to give them as much as we could it required two incomes. When they were school age, we made the decision to live in the mainstream, live conservatively, middle class, whatever you want to call it. We knew we, as their parents, had to grow up.

We have two adults-in-training; Katherine Elizabeth and David Wyatt. They are 26 and 24, respectively. We love them both very much.

That said, would anyone like two adults-in-training? You can find them on eBay....JUST KIDDING! Geez!! (some people can'’t take a joke) What's that Katie? Nothing Baby Girl! Of course I'm not talking about you!!! NO! Not a word about when you were born and your sweet baby bald head and your ears stuck open like a taxi cab door!!

Oops....

Where was I?

My best friend/husband/hubby/my David and I led a rather eclectic lifestyle when our children were really small; they really don't recall a lot (I hope). Just vague memories of being moved around many times from the border of Mexico to the border of Canada. By the time they were old enough to remember...we were somewhere else. What we did until they were school aged was this; I'd work winters, nursing, but by middle of May we met two other couples, my David's friends, in the Hole in Wyoming. They called it the Rendezvous.

 From there the guys drew straws or something to decide who went where for the summer. The choices were the Hole, the Grand Canyon or Glacier National Park. The business was tourists, the product was mainly imported and my David worked on commission. The product I liked the best came from the local Native Indians. The owner would buy or trade for whatever they brought us. Their work was astonishing.

Of course, copycat here took notes, did sketches and tried. Man, did I ever try! Unconventional toddler years for our two children to say the least. But even with two of those years actually living in Tipi's they were fine, no emergency room trips, no colds or pneumonia or earaches, nothing. Nothing until kindergarten. And yes, before you ask, they were both vaccinated correctly and on time.

But as we all know, when as parents you are young and have children of your own sooner or later (hopefully sooner) you wake up one day with the complete truth outlined inside your mind.

Once the screaming stops

You as parents, realize together, that you are both responsible for the way your children will turn out. Oh yes, I know, they have free will, they are responsible for their actions, all parents can do is teach, show, pray. I know all that. We did all that. We believe all that...most of the time.

What you, as young parents, do not know is that knowing that will not help you in twenty to thirty years.

In the Future

You will second guess yourself.

You will cry.

You will beg the Higher Power to forgive you for anything you did that caused the sorrow your children are experiencing as adults. You will plead that the Higher Power punishes you, just save your children from grief. You, as the parent will be burdened by the feeling that it must have been something you did to cause the children you love, to be the way they are.

In the Future

You will thank the Higher Power every day for giving you the blessing of knowing your child. You will look at your adult child with wonder and joy, thanking that child every day for being the loving, kind soul they are. You will enjoy every day, every moment and be so very glad you did not pinch their heads off when they were  teenagers :)

In the Future

You will look with great pride at your children and their young family, take a deep breath, step back and step away and say, go on then, have a nice life. Remember that we love you. You are on your own. We are proud of you. We love you. Do better than we did. Remember that we love you. Love one another. Love yourselves and our lives. We love you.

Tamcor asked three questions in her hub. They are:

Whichever you were--stays at home mom or working mom--are/were you happy with that decision?

As I said, yes.

                                   And no.

                                                           Most of the time.

                                                                                            maybe...yes.

Were the hardships and/or benefits of either worth it in the long run?

It has to be worth it. Otherwise how do we, as parents, live with ourselves? It's hard, regardless. We had a decision to make, a set of decisions, we made them, and we are living with those decisions. Making a decision is always better than not making one at all. Isn't it?

If your kids are grown, how do they feel about the choice you made?

This is the hardest of the three questions to answer. Not hard so much as heartbreaking. So you will have to read this Hub, and then decide the answer from the Hub itself.

Just as you will have to decide the same thing for yourself, just a few too short years from now.

              Hug them while you have them Tamcor,

                                               steal your kisses while you may

                                                                           and pinch them good for me!