When my daughter was four I put together a tea party for her birthday. Her friends were new (from dancing school), and I was a little uncomfortable inviting such new friends to a birthday party. Instead, we had a family birthday party but then, the tea party for her and her friends.

I asked the girls to wear party dresses for starters. No proper tea party involves any other type of attire. In a time when kids don't always dress for birthday parties I thought it was nice to give the little girls an occasion to wear their dressiest dresses.

The second request was that they bring a doll. To me, no tea party can truly be complete without the presence of dolls with tiny tea cups.

A pretty table cloth, pastel (with emphasis on pale purple and pink) paper party supplies, and pastel balloons hung in large bunches helped add a fun-but-elegant atmosphere.

My daughter had a play kitchen on wheels, so that was wheeled out within access of where the girls gathered. Since play kitchens don't generally come with lots of fake junk food, I went to my local discount store and stocked up on inexpensive packages of plastic cakes, twinkies, and other available toy pastries - the fancier and pinker looking, the better. Also, I made sure their were enough plates and toy cups and saucers for everyone.

Having the "play party" toys available provided an open-ended play activity for the little girls, and it also helped them stay in the "tea-party frame of mind" while playing in their pretty dresses.

As for the real food for the real little girls, I had a pretty cake and bought particularly pretty (pastel) candies (mini-marshmallows, pastel M&M's, after-dinner mints). Finger sandwiches were served. Tuna salad, cheese and lettuce, and cucumber were among them. Small salads, cherry tomatos, and olives were also served.

Using the Betty Crocker recipe for spritz cookies (and an inexpensive cookie press), I made star shaped cookies and sprinkled them with light purple and light pink sugar. The cookies were placed on a couple of large, pretty, trays and helped make things look a little more special.

Fruit cups and fruit pieces helped make the table look particularly inviting, and the little girls seemed to gravitate toward the small baggies of washed grapes I placed in baggies and tied with ribbons.

I made a fruit punch but offered the option of orange, apple, or grape juice for anyone who wanted one of those instead.

When the cake was eventually cut and served there was also Spumoni (it looks fancier than plain ice cream).

Miniature, stuffed, Teddy bears with light purple or pink ribbons around their neck were favors. The guests also received light purple and pink goodie bags with stickers, treats, and inexpensive party favors (the kind that comes six-on-a-card at dollar stores).

A good time - as they say - was had by all.