Apple’s latest incarnation of the iPod, the Apple iPod touch is possibly the best piece of plastic crap I have ever owned. I say “plastic crap,” but I guess it would be fairer so say “aluminium and glass crap,” at least on the outside.

Those of you who have read some of my iPod and other technology hubs will know I am not a big fan of buying something just for the sake of it, so it was with some reluctance that I bought myself one of these things. I needed it for work so that I could show off the quality of the video productions one of my employer’s sister companies produces at luxury film.

Why do I say it is the best piece of Plastic crap I have ever owned? Because it does what they say it does. It plays games music and videos and lets you surf the web if you are in earshot of a wifi station. Unfortunately I find the games inane, the music quality well below par, the crappy safari browser impossible to use and the video screen too small to see anything clearly – apart from that it is fantastic.

I kid. It does what they say it does. My only real concern is the longevity. I certainly hope it lasts longer than my last Macbook pro because that puppy died after a short, problem filled life, somewhat akin to being born with a hole in the heart, developing multiple sclerosis at a young age, being involved in a nasty car crash and eventually catching terminal cancer at age 15 before you quite got the hang of things.

Two years was all I managed to get out of it. Two keyboards, two cases, one new motherboard, a new DVD player and a constant supply of annoying electric shocks later, the motherboard dies again, the DVD player jams and – for the third time – the keys start popping off the keyboard.

Apple tells me it is my own fault for not buying the three year warranty and they will not fix it for free any more. Living in France, I am not allowed to talk to Apple US – they say they cannot help me – even though I bought it in the US.

Apple France charge you 37 cents a minute to speak to some one who deliberately cannot understand French with an English accent and say they cannot help me because I bought it in the US and I should talk to them.

Here’s hoping the iPod is a different story……….