Archery, Juggling, and Fat Jokes by Moonmaiden

Since today's topic is jokes, I thought I'd write some and steal some. Warning...nearly every joke is politically incorrect. That's what makes them funny. They are often what people think instead of what they say.

­­Archery Jokes

What do archers say to guys with swords?

"You can run if you want but you'll only die tired."

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Which is more dangerous...a great archer or a terrible one?

A terrible one, because a great one hits where they aim, but a poor one may hit anything.

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What did the lustful maiden say to the handsome archer?

"You make me quiver."

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What do real archers say to compound archers?

"I see you still have your training wheels on your bow."

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What did the archer say to the postal clerk when asked if they were shipping anything hazardous?

"No sir, just a bunch of sticks and feathers."

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Juggling Jokes

Juggler to woman after dropping a juggling club on her foot.

"Sorry ma'am, it was a sudden gust of gravity."

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Street juggler while passing the hat:

"Please give generously and keep me on the streets."

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Juggler to parents and their future students at a 'welcome to the University' barbeque:

"Four years of college and this is how I make a living."

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Juggler to parents at University barbeque:

"You'd juggle too if you had my grades."

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Juggler to parents at University barbeque:

"At least you know I'm sober."

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Juggler to the 100^th person that walked by and said, "Got a match?"

"Sorry sir, there is no match for your original witty heckling."

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Audience member to juggler doing torches: "Is that real fire."

Juggler, "No, my singed eyebrows and the smell of my burning hair are just a special effect."

Fat Jokes

Passerby to fat person. "Wow, you're fat."

Fat person, "Thanks for pointing that out. Otherwise I never would have noticed."

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Little kid to fat lady: "Why are you so fat?"

Fat lady to little kid: "Why are you so short?"

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Little kid to fat man: "Why are you so fat."

Fat man, "My parents were mean to me so I ate them."

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Hope you enjoyed them. Now go write some of your own.