Speed dating is the one thing i hated about being single. It was never some thing i actually ever yearned to do but an advert for people to take part in a televised event caught my eye(mind you i had consumed two bottles of wine at my friends house at the time).

A month later i found myself being primed ,groomed or what ever you'd like to call it, for the actual night that loomed ever near. My self and five other ladies were introduced to a relationship expert who taught  us techniques and how to portray our selves in three minutes. It was the biggest load of  rubbish ever believe me.Three minutes is not only too short but also long enough for you to make a complete idiot of your self.

On the actual evening on board a rather posh boat we were plied with fizzy wine and the atmosphere was tinged with nerves for us all. It didn't help having a television camera  shoved in your face every second.To begin with all the cattle(oops,of course i meant guests) mingled politely with the wine slightly easing us. Personally for me the wine was a bad idea as my head felt like a sea saw and my words were definitely slurred.

Then a bell was rang to grab our attention and instructions wafted out like a military manovement.The gentlemen would be seated whilst us poor ladies did all the leg work. Ladies wore numbers and the gents letters,how very chauvinistic indeed.

Then another loud bell dispersed and the event began.Each lady would start in a clockwise order for the first half of the event.It was confusing,disorganised and boring.

I talked to only a couple of fairly decent chaps but about nothing significant enough to make me desire a second date.The others were certainly a rare breed of fools. One was looking for a wife which he expected to snare that night and another made me feel as though i were on a job interview( for a job i did not want at all).

After a rather disappointing first half we broke for more refreshment.I greedily glugged down a few glasses of free wine and took a deep breath to start again.At least the second half would be better because by this stage i was so drunk any thing would have been interesting.

More garbled conversations and falling over on my way to the next table i suddenly discovered the night had finished. So the latter part had certainly not bored me quite as much.

Later with the camera still rolling i did actually manage to find a chap that appeared half decent (well may be it was beer goggle glasses lol.The only thing i am still acutely embarrassed about is our 'screen kiss'  (what would my mother say).It was definitely brought on by alcohol consumption as naturally i am lady like most of the time.

Back at home safely tucked up in bed with a hot drink to sober me up,i reflect on the evenings events.I have come to the conclusion that speed dating is more like a cattle market.There can surely be no romance formed this way as your second date would be chosen merely on looks.Personalities can not be portrayed well in disorganised venues such as these and i think they will only lead to problems later.

My advice to all those tempted to try 'beware',but if you brave these events then definitely steer clear of the wine lol......