Before I even begin, I'd like to thank and compliment ripplemaker for inspiring me to write this hub. You may want to read her hub first, or just look at The Missing Piece Meets the Big O and then review my contemplations.

Without being arrogant: the big "O"

I don't know, but I do thinks it's already there and just needs to grow. In order to grow it needs to be nourished. So I need to feed it. Feed it new thought, strange ideas, surprising insights and lots of mistakes.

Is it finding the right spouse? The right job? The right vocation? The right purpose? The right house? The right community?

As you can already guess from my answer to question no. 2 that something is not something circumstantial. It will not be something that our society seems to think we can't do without. I believe we should not look outside ourselves to become complete. Completeness can only be found within. I don't depend on the right spouse, the right job, the right vocation, etc. to be a complete person, worthy of my love and affection. As soon as I know what that ‘something I need' is, I'll let you know. But I suspect that living is nothing more or less than looking for this missing piece within you. Once you find it, you're done.

Have you at one time or the other found your missing piece, and later on heard yourself saying, "You have changed. You are not my missing piece anymore. Perhaps my true missing piece is still out there." So you find yourself leaving and searching again.

In a way, yes. In various ways to be more specific. My last three jobs felt like that. And then things changed. So I went out to look for a new job. I once had a relationship. My life felt complete, so one could say I had found my missing piece. But she changed and grew. And I changed and grew. Both in different directions.

And that was when I realized that change is a given. I change and everything and everybody around me changes too. And that was when I stopped searching. In stead, I started reflecting. I started to realize that expectations can only lead to disappointment in the long run. I started accepting. Mind you, that doesn't mean that I became inactive or indecisive. But I started to look for the causes of everything within myself.

Have you found yourself trying to change how you look, the way you dress, color your hair, perhaps in the hope that being more attractive, you would find that special someone to fill you, to complete you?

A long time ago. But I've learned pretty early in life that I am who I am. Anything unnatural will not only make me less attractive, it will also encourage expectations that I am bound to not meet. And I learned that the less I pretended or tried to be ‘better' than I am, the more attractive I became to others. I dare to say now that I am authentic. I am who I am. And I am proud of who I have become.

No, I haven't. I've met people who claim to have found their fulfillment in life. Not many. And to me they appeared to be the most conceited people of all. Knowing everything better and - what's worse - knowing how you should live your life. Should I meet people who actually did find fulfillment, I wouldn't want to know their secret. I'd like to listen to them, learn from them. I'd like them to share their experiences and thoughts with me. I'd like them to reflect on my experiences and thoughts. But I wouldn't want to know their secret. Simply because finding your own secret is what makes life so interesting.

Have you met people who are still restless, who keep running around always thinking that the grass is greener on the other side? That something or someone else is better.

O yes. So many people look at others to measure their own achievements. So many people will just not be satisfied with what they have. I guess we all have to learn in our own way and at our own pace.

I'm going to pass on this one. There are quite a few congregations in which I participate. And when I do, I belong to that group. But eveything is temporary, isn't it? I don't identify myself as belonging to a particular group.

That's what this hub is all about, isn't it?

Again, the answer is in this hub. I am the potential (just like you are). I am the full potential. Other people and other things can shed a light on me, which causes me to grow in a different direction for a while, just as plants grow in the direction of the light. The main difference between that plant and myself is that the plant depends on the sun in order to grow. I depend on me and am grateful for the support from others.