Are Your Bad Parenting Skills Creating Monster Kids At School?
69The BBC News published a report in March 2002 stating bad parenting has led to an increase of violence and crimical behavior in schools. What might seem to be a shocking allegation is actually a valid point that every parent should consider. Are your poor parenting skills being reflected in your children when they are at school?
Teach your children RESPECT
One of the most common issues many teachers deal with today is lack of respect in children. Even children as young as 6- or 7-years old are beginning to show disrepect to their teachers today.
When parents disrespect teachers at home, by talking about them in a negative manner, this disrespect carries through the child at school. After all, if Mom and Dad think the teacher is crazy, why shouldn’t their child feel the same? And when their child begins to disrespect the teacher, they start sharing their disrespectful feelings with their friends, who in turn become disrespectful to fit in with the crowd.
Teach your children DISCIPLINE
Children who are well-behaved at home rarely have discipline issues at school. Parents who allow their children to get away with anything at home can only expect the same behavior at school. Discipline problems at school frequently stem from lack of discipline at home.
Parents don’t want to be labeled as “bad guys” with their children. But sometimes you have to punish your children for their benefit. Allowing your children to run free and do as they please from an early age will only hurt them in the future.
Teach your children TOLERANCE
There are always things we don’t necessarily want to do in life, but we do them because we know we have to. Your children need to learn how to be tolerant, of both people and life situations.
Your children need to learn how to be willing to respect others, regardless of whether or not they agree with them. Your child won’t always have the best teacher in the world, but if you can teach your child how to be respectful and self-disciplined, they will be much more likely to succeed in their classes. Children also need to know how to control their temper and communicate effectively through words with their teacher.
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Positive Parenting Produces Positive Kids
The more positive and upbeat you can be with your children about their teachers and education, the better students they will likely be at school. Instilling these, and other, positive values in your children will help set them on the right track.
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Comments
I do agree with you on that, Laurie. There are many influences in a child's life today. However, even the argument of what kids see on TV still falls back to the parents/guardians. If parents are monitoring what kids are watching, would they really be seeing the violence, sex, drugs, etc.? I am vigilent about keeping tabs on what both of my kids watch (which is only videos). Even some cartoons of late include phrases or words that are not necessarily curse words, but very close. I wouldn't want them to repeat that sort of stuff, so they don't get to watch that either. :)
As a public school administrator, I get to meet both the children who behave well and those who do not. A common trait of all children who misbehave is parents who possess all or some of the following characteristics: Irresponsibility-parents who blame everyone, but themselves or those helping them raise their children. Denial-Their child never lies, never talks back, never disobeys grown ups, never makes fun of others. Victims- Life's so hard for parents. They work, they have this and/or that obligation, etc., etc., etc. Entitlement-Both parents and their children deserve all that can be obtained since schools are paid with their taxes. Pride-too much of! Will not back down when they've seen the light. On the other hand, parents of well behaving students all have a common trait. They want to cooperate, are open to suggestions, are open to working with their children's teachers, are open to possibilities, even if they don't agree, they are open to consider alternatives. See the school as a partnership, not as an adversary. Actively participate, not necessarily by volunteering, but by keeping informed of all school goings on (by reading every memo sent home), they spend time with their children in a way where they can see how they behave and try to curtail negative behaviors.
I have to put my two cents in. Although I agree that many or even most ill-behaved children have parents who set bad examples, there are still quite a few parents who do everything right and still have problems with their children. These include parents to children who just dont respond to the normal/good types of parenting and discipline. There are many studies on psychological and emotional behavior issues that stem from issues that are out of the parent(s) control. My mother is currently experienceing this with my very younger brother. He has very extreme behavioral issues due to an emotional reaction to a childhood trauma that was out of my mother's control. Of course as a result of this behavior, he has been pegged a trouble child in his school and is often blamed even when he is not at fault (which only exacerbates the problem). This has recently become more of an issue because other children are learning that he can be their scapegoat when they are really the ones in the wrong, because the teachers never believe his story. Also, my mother has been labeled a bad parent. This is a rediculous accusation to me because my other younger brother has no behavioral issues nor did I growing up. My mother is actually what I would consider to be one of the most loving and supportive yet appropriately disciplinary parents I have ever known. Yet, she is getting no help or cooperation from the school because they have already lumped her into the same group of parents that the previous poster discussed. They assume that she is not doing her part so why should they care to try and help her. This has led my mother to be defensive towards the school because eventhough she trys to explain the situation, they are still set in their assumption that she is a bad parent. She is currently planning to start couselling for my brother because the school, instead of working with her, has just threatened to expell him if the problems dont reduce. I just want people (school staff in particular) to realize that they need to keep an eye out for these specialized cases, instead of just assuming all childresn are ill-behaved because of bad parenting. Unfortunately I fear that because of the lack of support my mother iand broher are recieving from the school, my brother is only going to become even more disenchanted with school, authority figures, and people in general.
Well-said, Amber, and I agree with you 100%. Sometimes there are other issues going on that create such situations.
You have raised some really valuable points with this article. I totally agree that children who have a disciplined and structured upbringing at home, are less likely to be disruptive and disrespectful at school. So many children lack respect for others nowadays, parents ACTUALLY expect the schools to teach children discipline, how? Teacher's have hardly any authority due to various rules and regulations. My boys are only very young however I have always believed they are never to young to learn to respect other's feelings or their property. Sometimes I DO feel that perhaps I am a bit to strict, in comparison to other parents.
Interesting Hub! Here's another one along those lines: http://hubpages.com/hub/schoolrelatedissues
Laurie Stroupe says:
13 months ago
I hope that the report considered all of the negative things children see on TV. Even Disney channel shows are full of disrepect and breaking the rules for a laugh. It's not fair to lay everything on parents' shoulders when they cannot raise their children in a vaccuum - or they've be criticized for that!