Are You High Maintenance or Low Maintenance?

Not that one is necessarily better than the other in terms of being able to find - and keep - a life partner, but it's useful to know. After all, if you're high maintenance and you keep dating people who'd really prefer a low maintenance mate, you're setting yourself up for a lot of heartache. So, which one are you? The following categories should help you decide.

Emotional. Low maintenance people don't make mountains out of molehills. They are not drama queens. They can handle the little annoyances and disappointments of daily life pretty much on their own. They're usually comfortable living by themselves, even though they'd welcome a lifemate. While a high maintenance person can, and usually does, handle little day-to-day emotional issues just fine, a confidant to listen to him or her vent about them and make the appropriate sympathetic noises is more precious than gold. High maintenance people have a lot of crises - usually ones of their own making. They are nourished by positive attention like other people are nourished by an all-day buffet, and tend to crumble like a burnt flower at criticism or negative feedback. Low maintenance folks use the criticism or negative comments as guidelines for improvement.

Social. Low maintenance people prefer not to be the center of attention. A quiet evening at home with their loved one and one or two close friends is their idea of a really good time. A quiet evening with their loved one and a good book or two or a movie is even better. High maintenance people, on the other hand, are usually the life of the party. It's all about going out and doing something - anything!

Financial. High maintenance people tend to suck at handling money, which is why they often don't have any - and could you possibly lend them a few bucks until payday? Low maintenance people may be flat broke - but you'd never know it. Their bills tend to be paid on time, and they may be living on red beans and rice or ramen noodles. They may get their books for a quiet evening at home from the library or a used bookstore - but they will never, ever ask their family or friends for money.

Birth order. High maintenance people tend to have been the youngest child of the family or an only child. Low maintenance people are either the oldest or one of many. My husband Alex, for instance, is number six of seven children. He says he learned at a pretty early age to look after himself emotionally and socially, and he's pretty darn good with money.. It's not that his parents didn't love him - there were just so many hours in a day and so many other children at home that needed their time and attention, too. Consequently, he's pretty low maintenance. His sister, the oldest child, is even more so, if that's possible. I, on the other hand, was an only child...

Like I said, there's nothing bad about being either low maintenance or high maintenance. Some low maintenance people enjoy being needed, and prefer a high maintenance partner (thank you, Alex!). Some higher-than-average maintenance people crave the unconditional love, support and stability a lower-than-average maintenance person can provide (that would be me!). But knowing where you are on the spectrum and what you want out of a life mate will save you a lot of frustration and fruitless relationships.