Arranged Marriages
79Arranged Marriages
Do you believe in arranged marriages? I think there are pros and cons for both sides. I most certainly wouldn't want my or my children's marriage to be arranged. My English teacher told us that she is going to arrange her niece's marriage. She said she told her niece that she can date after they are married. At first I was like that messed up, you can't decide for other people who they are going to love. But then right away I realized that I didn't even think about what her niece wanted. Maybe she wants her marriage to be arranged for her so she doesn't have to worry about finding someone. But she might also want to find someone on her own.
One thing that you would miss out on is just dating. And having a good time with someone that you like. You can't hold hands at the movie theater, go mini golfing, or even let him buy you dinner. Well not until you're married. Imagine finding out simple things about your husband/wife after you married them! I just don't see myself in the limo after getting married, and asking my husband "So... what do you like to do for fun?" I think that parents do it, so that they know they have picked a decent guy and so their child doesn't go through a awful divorce. But living in a free country, shouldn't you be able to decide. When you turn 18 you should be able to do whatever you want (of course what ever you want, as long as it is legal). No matter what your parents say. And if your parents say if you don't marry this guy we will disown you.. That's a little messed up... to me. Maybe it is because I grew up in a family that is going to support me, no matter what I do,... and that's why I think it is messed up. For me, it would just be super awkward
One thing that is good about arranged marriages, is you won't fight until after you're married! I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing but you wouldn't be breaking up and getting back together over and over again. Because you're already married. You don't to worry about getting a second date either. You won't go through boyfriends/girlfriends like the are old shoes either. That might save you some heartache or it might make you more sad. It depends on your personality.. I guess.
Bottom line, it depends on what you want. And if you're happy or not. This is another controversial topic that can go either way. Pros and cons. I see now that you're family is trying to save you from heartache but what if you're truly unhappy about your marriage and there is nothing you can do about it. That's not cool. I still think you won't be able to fall in "LOVE" on your own terms. Which is most important to me when I start looking for marriage and kids.. Which is a long time away. <3
Love,
Tayler!
PrintShare it! — Rate it: up down flag this hub
Comments
Great Post! I agree with you, I wouldn't want to be in an arranged marriage either, because you want to choose who you spend your life with. Some people don't get to choose because the person they want to be with doesn't want to be with them, or they're already with someone else. I think a lot of people settle or end up alone. This is sad because they expected true love. If you were in an arranged marriage you might actually find love where you didn't expect it.
It is like that, who ever has arranged marriage and lived successfully will post that yes arrange marriage has a significance and who ever has got failure in arrange marriage will express that no arrange nmarriage is not advisable!
Same thing about love marriage: There are success stories and and failure stories too!
Rather one has to think about the characteristics of the successful couples of both the type of marriage and then come out with an out come, but well, beware new change will occurre soon!
One has to be objective as well as balanced view about the thing in real!
Hoodala- LOL. no.
Fiction- That is very true. Thank you for commenting.
Healwell51- That is true also but at least in "lovemarriage" you choose who you marry. I try to have a balanced view on many topics, but it is hard, when this one effects your entire life. Thank you sharing what you believe.
Tayler!
Hi there!
Thats a very interesting post. I come from a background where my parents, my aunties, and probably most of the people got married through arranged marriages. Some of the marriages seem to be stable, some are really on a rocky road. I personally disagree completely, whole heartdly with arranged marriages. Some people don't get to meet their husband/wife except on the DAY the wedding is. That's just disgusting and inhuman! This tradition is falling apart though. It is still ongoing, but not too often. In some cases, the man/woman, have some blind trust in their parents, esepcially the mother, so they ask them to find them a husband and a wife.
I could go on forever regarding this topic. It hits close to home. That's all!
I think Love marriage is a selfish act couples should involve their families especially parents when taking such big decisions.
Well it seems like everyone thinks that arranged marriages are forced. Most of the time, parents introduce the guy and girl and they are allowed to date. They don't have to get married if they don't want to. My marriage will be arranged, and I will have a chance to get to know my partner first. Also, if you look at arranged marriages, you have to look at the history. In the past, marriages had more to do with the whole family and many times marriages had to be decided based on the whole family's benefit due to the circumstances.
I love arranged marriages
I am more than 100% for arranged marriages, just thinking about them gives me goosebumps
My Girlfriend and i have to break up so she can get an arranged marriage to a Indian, Sikh, Punjabi boy. Arranged Marriages are a selfish act, and Love Marriages are one of the liberties you get for coming to live in the western world. Freakin' archaic is this arranged marriage bullshit, like its a business to keep it all within the caste system.
Interesting hub. There will always be pros and cons. Read my hub on FIRST MATCHMAKING IN THE BIBLE and then tell me how you feel about it. God bless.
marriage is sacred and if you know the bible that says it all in a few words but very interesting topic
Marriage IS a sacred institute. No matter what you try, god will always carry out his plan. He'll find the right one for you. If not, it's not meant to be.Everyone has different life lessons to learn. ( sorry, i got off topic a bit.) @_@ Nightlymistress
The only arranged marriages that would be 100% if they were arranged by God Himself.
Arranged marriages has it's good side and bad side. I agree to it on one condition..that the girl or guy get to meet and agree yes or no as guys also have been forced. Like Prince Charles was forced to marry a virgin while being in love with his present wife.
I liked this sentence "One thing that is good about arranged marriages, is you won't fight until after you're married!"
You are quite right!
In India, arranged marriages are still very predominant. In earlier generations, the couple, even after betrothal, will not be allowed to communicate easily and they were better off not fighting before marriage.
In present generation, things have changed. Cell phone has become the greatest culprit! Betrothed couple keep talking for ever in cell phones and they virtually communicate everything before marriage. They end up fighting too!
Result? Post marriage, there is very little left for each to know about the other (except for the serious negative qualities that they have been hiding all along!)
Perhaps this article of mine about the successful arranged marriages in India may be of interest to you:
Hoodala says:
2 years ago
Can you arrange a marriage for me to Brooke Burke?