As I lay in my bed

Stories of youth come in my head

I fall into my memories

I thought would be hidden

Over flood and consume my mind

The brutality and neglect

My father thought I would forget

As my mother looked away

Not a word she would say…. and

As I remember I hope

As time goes by I still

Will forget

 

A small scar lay hidden

Where blood still seeps through

How I have often wept

I kept hiding inside myself

Wondering if my scar shows

Trying to be tough and strong

Not feeling like I ever belonged

And all along I think….that…

The horror to know

My parents were not protectors of me

But my foe

As I remember I hope

As time goes by I still

Will forget

 

As their days turn to night

I still feel the darkness

Searching for a light

That was not lit

Always feeling alone

Trying to feel this whole

Deeply inbedded in my soul and....

As I remember I hope

As time goes by I still

Will forget

 

Siblings not happy with my success

They find joy in my unrest

In our days that were the same

Finding joy in others pain

How they destroy each other with their lies

Happiness in each other’s distress

But in my abyss

They sing high in unison and their laughs cut

And my worst fear

Happens……..

I let another scar appear

Like me they are grown and spawned from lifelessness

As I remember I hope

As time goes by I still

Will forget

 

Alone like the tiger

Who hunts in the dark

But as meek as a dove

Who can seeks to fly

Unto the heavens above

I learned the magic of love

And finally became free

No longer afflicted

Only to be

but still….

As I remember I hope

As time goes by I still

will forget

 

I tried to change and rearrange

To fit in with their chaos

Which they call home

They are of my blood

To where I longed to be

But what ran through our veins

Was all that we shared

No connection of love

They find joy in only that of pain

For them to find pleasure in my scars

Eventually drove me insane

And away and…

As I remember I hope

As time goes by I still

Will forget

 

I could no longer stand the rain

And to be consumed with all the pain

No longer to be shattered like glass

Over and over in pieces

Love now has surrounded me

Alas…I rejoice

but some days as I lay in bed

As I remember I hope

As time goes by I still

Will forget

 

Almost defeated, though I still some pain

I still reach for the clouds in spite of some rain

Broken their connection

Their lack of affection

Has drained me

But am I free?…because …

As I lay in my bed

As I remember I hope

As time goes by I

Will forget…..forever….