Asperger's Syndrome: What's It Really Like?
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I was first diagnosed with Asperger’s about 12 years ago. At the time, I was at university and knew very little about it, apart from what had been studied in my psych class. After all, it wasn't a well-known syndrome and the internet was just a baby at the time - it’s not like I could just look it up in Wikipedia.
The second time I was diagnosed was about 6 years ago, and I scoured the internet immediately. Not a lot of info still, but enough. I wasn’t happy with the diagnosis, but, eh, what can you do? With something like this, there’s not much you can do anyway, as it’s more or less a personality thing.
I could give you a scientific rundown, but I’m not going to. I’m just going to tell you how this manifested with me, because my case went unnoticed until I was 19 years old. Hindsight being 20/20 I am now able to look back and see all the signs that weren’t seen at the time.
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This is more for parents who are wondering if their kid has it, or for parents wondering if their kids “suffer” by having it. I certainly don’t feel like I’ve suffered and it didn’t get in the way of any of my dreams. Indeed, I suspect the reason I have my career as a professional singer is due to my extreme ability to focus. And my intensity for the things I choose to focus on.
One of the reasons I believe the speculation that Albert Einstein had Asperger’s is because he once said (and I paraphrase) that he was no more intelligent than his peers, but that he had intense focus. He could go and go and go without giving up. This is certainly the way I view myself. I’m intelligent enough, but my ability to succeed comes from a relentless driving of myself, even through sheer exhaustion or illness. It's like a physical need that can’t be turned off. And yet, it’s not an obsession. It’s difficult to explain, sorry. Certainly, being focused does not mean someone has Asperger’s, but, in my opinion, that is the mark of a person who truly has Asperger’s. If you aren’t physically driven toward something, you may have something else.
One note before I continue: It’s said that people with Asperger’s can’t read emotions in others. This is not always the case. I certainly can, but I do have tremendous difficulty reciprocating with facial expressions or physical gestures.
Keep in mind – this is just my experience; others may vary.
- So what is it?
We’ve all heard of Autism, right? And we know there are very high functioning Autistics. Well, Asperger’s is like one rung higher up the ladder. And it doesn’t always present the same way in each person diagnosed with it.
- How is it different from regular Autism?
The most obvious difference is that children with Asperger’s don’t have any cognitive delays.
Einstein: The Autism Connection
- So these kids blend in with kids who don’t have Asperger’s?
Well, the mild cases do, yes. If you know what you’re looking for, however, kids with Asperger’s have different body languages and don’t show the same facial expressions. This last part they are unaware of and may think they are perfectly mimicking their peers. I thought this myself until I was in my 20’s and saw it in the mirror.
- Do they need routine?
Even the mild cases, like mine, need routine to some degree. And by routine, this could also be an object that one gets attached to. For example, I had a desk on the left side of the room when I was in 3rd grade. One day we rearranged desks and my new seat was on the right side of the room. I couldn’t function, I couldn’t pay attention, I fidgeted uncomfortably, had to keep getting up and walking around the room. I was almost in a panic. When the teacher asked what was wrong, I said I wanted my desk back. She was so annoyed with me by then, she let me move back. If she hadn’t, I’d probably have had a Rain Man fit!
At some point I overcame that type of behavior and no longer have to suppress Rain Man fits, because I learned how to deal - but only because society doesn’t allow for it, and I needed to be part of society to some degree if I was going to do the things I wanted to do. It probably would have been easier if someone had known I’d had Asperger’s back then, and made some effort to teach me how to deal with the change.
- Do these kids know they are different?
I certainly didn’t. All I knew was that other kids thought I had strange interests and they thought I was way too intense on some levels. So, in short, no – they don’t know, but they probably know everyone else thinks they might be. But they are intelligent enough to know they function, and therefore consider themselves to be just fine.
- So why don’t teachers help these kids adjust?
For all intensive purposes, there’s nothing that looks like it needs serious help. I was always in the top 5, academically speaking, and was able to read, write and speak at a college level in 2nd grade. That’s the opposite of a warning sign for most teachers. If other kids don’t like you, they just figure that means you’re a brat in some way.
- Is it true Asperger’s kids are clumsy?
I wasn’t. I excelled at softball and show riding. But it’s interesting to note, I only excelled where teamwork wasn’t required. I was actually quite bad at sports like basketball and soccer – not because I was clumsy, but I really couldn’t get the concept of having to work with and rely on other team members. I couldn’t “see” what I was supposed to do. That may sound like stupidity but I mean it very literally. If I had a focal point, I could do anything. If I had to play a part, I couldn’t perform.
- They say these kids lack empathy, right?
I don’t think this is always correct and it was never the case with me. I do, however, suck royally at expressing empathy. This may be the case with others as well, so don’t take this to mean they aren’t crying for you on the inside, they just might be. Let me try and clarify what I mean. You tell me something awful, and I feel for you. I feel really intensely, as a matter of fact. I want to hug you and make you feel better. But.. I can’t. It’s not inhibition, it’s not psychological damage. I just can’t. In your eyes, it will appear as though I’ve listened to what you’ve said, and didn’t care at all – not even a little bit. You’ll think I’m cold and uncaring, but it’s only because you can’t see or feel my reaction as I feel it inside.
- Oh, that’s just an excuse! You could do it if you really wanted to!
I’m not an idiot and I have no desire to be socially inept or hurt other people’s feelings. Believe me when I tell you this one little inability sufficiently screws up 99% of all relationships someone with Asperger’s will have. If it were as simple as ‘just doing it’, it would be done.
- Is it true you can’t read other people’s body language?
This is often the excuse given for those with Asperger’s who just keep dominating a conversation, even when the other person clearly isn’t interested and wants to walk away. Let me just say, I recognize body language and always have. I can read it very well – but there are times when I just don’t react to it and keep going. It’s a matter of being on focused on what you feel the need to express at that time.
So, while many with Asperger’s can't recognize this – some of us certainly can.
- I’ve read there’s a correlation between over-vaccination and Autistic disorders.
I’ve read this as well. I’ve no idea what the answer is, but I can tell you I was definitely over-vaccinated as a child in the late 70’s. My parents both work in medicine and I was vaccinated twice for some things, and thrice for others. Today we know this kind of thing creates problems, but back then.. well, back then we thought smoking during pregnancy was ok, too. I’m not saying the correlation exists, but I’m certainly an example of someone who was over-vaccinated and has it.
- Give me an example of this focus in kids.
Kids with Asperger’s often manifest focus via some obsession. Such as collecting things which don’t really mean much to them. For example, I was obsessed with books when I was a kid. I had to have them everywhere. In my bed, next to my bed. I used to sit on my floor and pile them up all around me.. and just sit and stare at them. While they were closed. For, oh.. I dunno.. 3 or 4 straight hours?
Now, I know what you’re thinking.. I write books professionally as an adult, so this was just a sign of an early love for books. No, it wasn’t. I did not like books as a child and I hated reading. It bored me to no end. In fact, the books I piled around me, I had never even read and had no interest in doing so. I just wanted to have them. To a lesser degree, I still have this.. um.. issue. I buy loads of books and love to look at them in a row on my shelves.. but have no desire to read them.
My main focus, however, switched to blues music when I was 8 years old and it continued until I became a successful blues singer. There was nothing else I thought about, nothing else I listened to in my spare time, from 8 years old until my first gig. And it did not slow down. In fact, I didn’t realize my obsession was unusually intense until famous musicians I knew remarked on how remarkable my focus was – and they couldn’t believe it started when I was that young.
- Sounds like OCD to me…
In a way, it does – but it’s not. Unfortunately, many with Asperger's are misdiagnosed with OCD.
- What about hypersensitivity?
Loud noises, especially doors slamming and dogs barking, can really make me want to scream with pain. It’s such an awful feeling I can’t verbalize it for someone who hasn’t experienced it. It’s like nails on a chalkboard to the nth power. Same with bright lights and fluorescent lighting. I’m also highly sensitive to clothing – I really can only wear jersey material or some variation in shirts, or I go mad at the feeling on my skin. Many with Asperger’s experience this, but not all.
- Do these kids grow up to make anything of themselves?
Well, if Einstein really had it, I’d say they can turn out ok. Me, personally, I’m a professional singer, published novelist and sex columnist. That said, my personal relationships usually suck, but I prefer to blame that on the men I’ve dated. (Grin) Because Asperger’s is so “new” it’s hard to know how many famous people had it – but the growing list of those who do have it includes Nobel laureates and Pulitzer prize winners, so these people can certainly achieve like anyone else can.
- Einstein? Really?
Well, who knows. Some speculate he had it, others say no, cos he had a good sense of humor, which people with Asperger’s don’t often have. Alls I can say is I have a pretty good sense of humor and I have it. Why couldn’t Einstein?
- Who else is thought to have had it?
Again, all just speculation here, and not everyone agrees:
Lewis Carroll
Mozart
Thomas Jefferson
Sir Isaac Newton
Andy Warhol
W. B. Yeates
__
At any rate, Aspergers is not something I’m unhappy about having. In fact, it doesn’t bother me in the slightest. The important thing is you raise your child to view it as a difference and not a defect. It’s just a different way of seeing and thinking, really, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
xx Isabella
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Comments
Dearest Isabella!! Thank you soooooooooo much for writing this Hub!! I, too have Asperger, as does a friend of mine and her young child!! (And five of my seven godchildren!!) We have been wrestling for a month about tackling the issues in HubPages!! There were sooooooooooo many things in your Hub I resonated with!! And me too, I have done quite well in life!! My favorite site for the positive aspects is: www.CoachingAsperger.com and for more technical information: www.WrongPlanet.net Thank you so much for opening up and sharing!! Blessings on your day!! Earth Angel!!
Wow, incredibly interesting HubPage! I think I first heard of Asperger's on the TV show Boston Legal. Like Rainman, this gives you such a visual, single dimensional view of an issue or condition. After reading your terrific and personal explanation, I'm sure I've encountered it many times and didn't see the condition or the person properly. Thank you.
Earth Angel - Im glad it resonated with you! I hope it resonates with others as well. :)
Jstankevicz - You're welcome and thank you! Yes, Jerry from Boston Legal has some added traits in there, I think.. ;) There was also an episode of House in which Dr. Wilson theorizes that House has it too - though, I don't think the character does..
Isabella, thanks for being so upfront about such a personal experience. I had heard of Asperger's, but really didn't know much about it. It seems as if you, Earth Angel, and Earth Angel's godchildren are all in very good company- Sir Isaac Newton, Thomas Jefferson, Einstein- Wow.
And many feel Bill Gates, too!!
Excellent hub, Isa.
You've certainly taken what was given and made good. My ten-gallon is off to you.
This is very interesting hub. I was never diagnosed with Asperger or OCD but when I was a child I was considered very gifted by others though I didn't agree with them, I rather thought that I was exceptionally capable of being very focused especially on abstract thinking (I was very bad at calculation but very good at logics in mathematics).
I have a lot of empathy, it is really a big problem for me, that's why I thought I could discard that I have Asperger, but as I read you above, it rather seems that you don't express it. As for me I don't want to express it either because if I didn't contain myself in some situations I would just cry when I see others suffer.
Now I think any people at any degree has some foolishness. What's important is to become conscious of that and try to correct.
Angela - Thank you! :)
EA - I'd beleive that!
Frettbuzz - Thanks!
Counterpunch - Well, it exists in varying degrees.. but you're right, the important thing is that we deal with it. ;)
This is fascinating, and I appreciate that you wrote this, because people certainly benefit from being better informed.
The way you share your personal experience is very interesting-- I studied Asperger's at length, about 10-12 years ago, at the suggestion of a psychiatrist I knew as a friend. I eventually concluded that certain things were "missing," in terms of my having Asperger's, interestingly enough many of the same you have outlined as "doesn't always apply" and "not in my case."
This is a really interesting hub for me, because I personally have had some seriously BAD experiences with an individual with Aspergers, to the point I (regrettably) have a fear of anyone who seems to have it. Just reading this hub makes my muscles tense and my heart beat quickly as I round my shoulders and turn into myself.
When I was a freshman in college met a sophomore boy in my dorm who seemed to like me. Having gone to an all girls boarding school and never had a boyfriend before, I took to the attention and reciprocated the flirting, even though I found the boy slightly odd and not actually all that attractive, but we seemed to relate on the topic of having been bullied in younger years, etc. We started dating, and while the first couple of weeks went well, his intense feelings for and focus on me started to get a little disturbing. He couldn't function when I wasn't around, and I couldn't do my studies when I was with him. Furthermore he would constantly inadvertently guilt trip me into things I didn't want (for example: the first time he put his hands down my pants I told him I didn't want that and he cried and pouted and berated himself, so from then on I let him do it even though I didn't want it). It quickly turned into emotional abuse on his part, whether he meant for it or not. When I finally learned of his (probably unrelated) habit of compulsively lying I finally was fed up and ended the relationship. After the break up he became suicidal and violent. He'd constantly slam his dorm room door and at one point claimed he'd poisoned himself by drinking mouthwash. He also followed me around. Whenever he knew I was in my friend's room down the hall from him he'd sit in his doorway watching as I'd run across the hall back and forth from the bathroom or common room. At public school events somehow he'd always situate himself within my view. It got really creepy, but finally after summer break things died down and I didn't see much of him anymore.
I'm not sure how much of his actions had to do with his having Aspergers, though I will say I do not think he ever got the help adjusting that he needed as a kid and young adult (he was diagnosed at age 14), and he certainly did not have a great upbringing, trust me on that one. I don't doubt that many people with Aspergers are wonderful, well meaning, functioning members of society (I've even known a few from before this incident), but ever since the events I've recounted her I have had a fear of people, especially men, who seem to have that sort of walk and look in their faces that suggests to me they have Aspergers.
Thank you for your hub. It really shows me how irrational my fear is from my one bad experience, and I hope in time I can get over it. Great job, as always.
Isabella,
A couple of years ago I babysat a 3-year-old girl with aspergers. I didn't think much of it at the time (because I have two younger siblings with Autism Spectrum Disorder) but her mother insisted that I not let her zone off into her own world too much. When she did that sort of thing she would start singing to herself, and her mother said that that wasn't healthy for her. Is that true, is it unhealthy to let kids with aspergers stay in their own world for too long?
Patience Virtue
Denmark - Yep, it's not the same for everyone. :)
Gale - Well, just because you have or don't have Aspergers or something else doesnt mean you can't be obsessive. Everyone and every situation is different. :)
Patience Virtue - If shes only singing to herself Id have to say whats the harm in that? What seems strange (isolation) to her mother may feel very comfortable for her. Why force a child to be uncomfortable just because you (the mother) doesn't like to see it? Personally, Id not tell her she cant do that. But thats just me.
Thanks for opening up your own life experience to us. My 13 year old neice was just dianosed with Aspergers last year and we had no idea what it was until we googled it. Your article sheds even more light on the topic. Thanks!
MM - You're welcome!
Isabella, Thank you for writing and answering so many questions. I'm a teacher and understood Asperger's from a distant perspective. When my boyfriend "flaked out" on me this week, I prayed, wondered what the logical reason was because he isn't a "flake" and it hit me. Asperger's. I've spent the last few days combing the internet for information and wondering how to explain to him what I want in our relationship, wondering if we are compatible given my personality traits, etc. Thank you for your honesty and your warmth. I wish you well....
Ok now let me put this this way:
I just realized i have Asperger's syndrome a few days ago; and I can actually relate to anything and everything you just wrote in that article. I mean, I have been academically excelling, have had an excellent vocabulary at the youngest age, have had troubles mingling with groups, have been skeptical of all 'trends' and lighter things in life; have been intensely engrossed and passionately interested in whatever I do, have been misunderstood by the elders (coz nobody here even knows this Sydrome exists)
And to be honest, I have been never so happier in my life. I mean, finally it all makes sense! And I feel so blessed to have it in me to differ and not be one of the crowd! And I make such good poetry, and draw such good chiaroscuro (not boasting BTW) that it almost amazes me sometimes. I have an excellent memory at remembering things I WANT to; I still have images in my mind of days when I was hardly 3 years old...
And I love people with such intensity and so much enthusiasm; and can isolate myself so easily to this wide wide world of ideologies and theories where I can silently work on the universal curiosities of my mind (Coz I have never thought of small things in my life, which makes sense now). I mean my parents would say I am some loner-kid who doesnt WANT to mingle, and trust me I have tried SO hard to do exactly that. And now I have come on this stage of life where I can understand and be satsifed with what I have and see my past and be proud of how far I have come. I feel proud that I have the Asperger Syndrome.
I mean, I still can relate to how uncomfortable clothes can make me distracted, or moved furniture can annoy me; even how the slightest disorder catches my attention. I also know how DESPERATELY have I wanted to express my empathy for people SO many times, and have never been able to; I have just been shutting it all, and I never thought why. I mean, I have IMMENSE empathy for my folk and just cannot express it.
Some days I feel so guilty about affecting other people's lives; to know that I influence them in so many ways; to know that their fates are somehow indirectly touched by me -- to understand that everytime I walk into the room, all the people sitting there live lives of their own, unaware of other's perceptions.
People tend to say I am rather philosophic with my ideas, but truely I never felt more practical. I mean, once you get the right perception on life, everything can blossom into an unimaginably abstruse form of beauty -- so exquisite yet so multifacted!
And I know what kind of obsession you speak of, for I have lived with it for as long as I know, and have been proud of it like nothing! To know that I can romance with the trees' curves and the fading colours of the sunset; to understand how every single blink of the eye has so many meaning to it -- To have the satisfaction of knowing, that at least in my own perception, I have solved the greatest riddles of time!
I fiddle and I stretch, in mechanical ways, vigorously jerking my wrists when tired, or just rotating my head when my neck hurts -- I feel no shame in doing weirdest of things or being teased - for I do not care. That kind of attitude has come to me, and that I consider the greatest gift of Nature!
I just want to say, so so so many things about myself (I am not self-obsessed, I just tend to explain things much better by relating them to myself first) and so many metaphors I can use, and never would I be accurate, to express this vivacious feeling, of beeing able to manipulate reality to intense joy and grief, while somehow being able to forecast it and control it.
LOL! I think Einstein DID have the Asperger syndrome, for I do not believe that Asperger's Syndrome is any mental disease, but a rather complex configuration of the elements of this universe ( I am boring you, ain't I?) that precisely work together in this unique way to give this behaviour to individuals. I mean, if you go to see, every man can be diagnosed of a mental condition -- the very essence of his life, the very infrastructure of his life.
I mean, I tend to give long and paradoxially-inclined lectures on most trivial objects BECAUSE I find a beauty in them; a hidden skeleton that shows SO vibrantly! I mean i debate with my teachers and win. I debate with my school-principal and I win. I just dont ever lose a debate unless I feel like giving up, And that rarely happens. As a result, I end up annoying people. So I have to be silent and secluded. Else it all breaks down. But trust me; I have felt life in SO many dimensions, so many realities, I wouldnt want life any other way. :D
My son has been diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome, and up until a last year, no problems in school. Now he exhibits a lot of disruptive behaviors in the classroom. Do you recall having problems in school, not so much academically, but behaviorally? Basically, my son's a good kid, but in the classroom if he can't be focused on what he wants, he reacts negatively. How did you deal with times you could not focus on what you wanted?
My nephew has just been diagnosed at autistic (and not mildy either). He's 6 years old and we suspected a few years back but wasn't confirmed till a few days ago. I think his parents were still in denial at that stage.
I think it takes special parents to deal this affliction on a daily basis and we are ALL preparing ourselves for the challenges ahead of us.
Whatever conditions we have, if you have a good heart, you'll be loved no matter what you are. Thanks for sharing, Isabella.
Umm...Julie, yes you are right.
Now that I go to think of it, I did have problems in classrooms; only I was more introvertive and disrupted mentally ;P
I mean I was an academic gem, but in behaviour, I was clearly a semi-alien. I don't think it should last throughout life. I mean my alienation died away in high-school. But trauma is not inseperable, nor are memories. But today it's good to recollect them and smile upon the past. :D
Oh wait. I didnot read the "How did you deal with times you could not focus on what you wanted?" part of your post. My bad.
Well let's see. In those days, I would actually look forward to distracting myself, and you might want to understand this. I mean, by not being able to focus on what he wants he is having an idenitity crisis, mostly a result of his distinctivity. And this confusion is inherent. It's meant to be. He will segue into the solacified state of mind slowly; it's like changing latitudes -- the temperature differences can kill when they are so immediate.
Give him time -- he will eventually be able to plot his own lines and try not to interpret his behaviour as negative. It's just different. :P (I hate it when people call me negative or unfocused or something; because ironically I am exactly the opposite and the irony bites like hell into my veins.)
Take Care.
~ Sid.
Thank you for writing this.
I dont have it, but our 14 year old does.
It gave me quite a few insights.
I've worked with Asperger kids but suspected that I have dated a few Asperger men! hmmmm
I never seen any other Hub so far like thisNice list, I'd definately agree with.. Thanks for the excellent Hub! Its amazing...
First, I'd like to say I like the view of someone with it, and a mild version of it. I've read a lot of things on it, you...probably would believe me and I like how it's not all about how insensitive and rude it seems.
Anyway, I'm pretty sure I have AS. I've been diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome and OCD and although I'm no doctor, I see a lot of the signs but I don't fit into the "stereo typical" Aspie because I'm sensitive.
Thats not to say I don't have "emotional" problems, I'm not very good at expressing myself, either by approipately fitting a situation or not knowing how to feel about something.
Anyway, thanks for writing this, I may show it to a few people to give them a different view on it.
Hey Isabella, great hub!
Especially considering the fact that like you, I have Asperger's. Like you, I blended in on the surface in school, and I was a pretty good athlete, playing baseball as a kid & playing softball now.
Unfortunately, your experiences seem to have been more positive than mine. I was bullied and shunned as a kid and have been shuned as an adult both socially & especially in the workplace.
I've written five hubs on this site describing my experiences in detail with AS. I really think you ought to read them and comment back to me on what you think. Maybe we can start a little support thing...my pen name on this site is Dhart.
Hope to hear back from you soon.
Oh by the way, I know of a couple more famous people who are "Aspies" - Dan Ackroyd, SNL legend and famous Blues Brother, and Heather Kuzmitch, who was on America's Next Top Model a year or two ago.
My boyfriend has AS, and it's good being able to read something that is actually from someone with AS. I've been up very late tonight reading all about AS (as he had suggested it to me tonight on the phone). We have been dating for almost 9 months now and with things I have read it kind of makes me smile remembering how he was like when we first started dating. We were both 16 then, and his AS is quite mild at times, but he still hasn't learnt how to deal with it well and has very bad periods here and there.
I had only just started at the school, I came to his school seeking a better education for my senior years and a way to avoid all the bullying I received from my past school (Although I found that the change in school hindered my education a little as the new school denied me of 3 unit math as they did not know me). I've always been very scared of meeeting new people, hell I'm horrible with people. I was lucky enough to have the teacher assign me to a guide whom I stuck to like glue, being scared out of my wits (This was much worse than my first day of high school, as it was the same feelings only that I knew everyone else in my year would not have the same feelings). I decided I would sit with her 'group' for lunches. Jake, my boyfriend was also a part of this group.
I pretty much just sat there, I never really talked to anyone, just followed them around so that I didn't look out of place. One day, I noticed Jake looked very upset and angry, and distant from the usual group so despite my fear of people, I walked over to him and asked him if he was okay. He shook his head and told me it was nothing. A guy from our group yelled at me and told me to leave him alone. This upset me a great deal, I am very sensitive to people raising their voice at me (But I understand now that the way they delt with Jake was to leave him alone).
I kind of developed a liking for him here, an interest I guess you would call it and this progressed even more when I discovered him in afternoon detention with me (I had been sent as I had had MANY days off school, I didn't like school at this point) because he hadn't finished and English task. I learnt that he has a hard time dealing with anything to do with English and using his non-existant imagination. We talked here as I was very suprised to find him here because he was one of the top students. We found we had a number of interests in which we shared and he told me about how he had AS and it was hard for him to do the English work.
A week later on July 13th (2009) I asked him out, I knew he never would and it was something I wouldn't normally do but I was very interested in him. That and I didn't have to exactly say "Will you go out with me" it was more like a "I would like to be your girlfriend. Would you like to be my boyfriend" sort of thing. The first month of our relationship was pretty much. He didn't know the first thing about how to act in a relationship but he learnt, eventually and he is the most caring individual I have ever met.
We started to open up to each other and so our relationship flourished. We shared so many interests and did a lot of things together.The odd thing was though that there were things that he couldn't do that I could do very well and vice versa.
He is very good at expressing himself thorugh speech and getting his point across (though he struggles talking about his emotions and feelings indepth) while I cannot do that very well at all, my only ways of communicating properly is through writing. Even in exams when we discuss the answers afterwards we find that the questions he could not answer, I answered easilly (and again vice versa).
We are still learning a lot about each other but Jake has made the presumption that I have AS as well. I have talked to my mother about what I was like when I was little because as far as I had known, I was always a very smart kid, and very lacking in social skills. She made the comment that I seemed to be very selective about who I would talk to and only ever made 'best friends' rather than have many friends. I was always bullied for my strange behaviour, but even now I don't know what it is that I had done to called that. I always ignored them. I really like reading books and I definatly exel in my English skills (though I don't seem able to grasp all the basics like what a simile is or an adjective. All I do is know how to write and I do it very well. I am the top student in my English classes.) With everything else I am slightly above average. I am far ahead of my class with math as I was placed in a very low math class due to my change in schools. I am second in my IT class I also do Physics and Legal Studies though I find it hard to focus in legal studies as my teacher talks a lot and it is hard for me to listen to people talk.
I am very sorry for the very long story but I wouldn't be able to sleep unless I knew I put in enough information for people to make a judgement. I need to know if you this I have AS as well. I do not want to go see a Psychiatrist or Counsellor as I have tried a few times but find I cannot talk and thus they cannot really make a diagnosis.
If anyone has any questions if they think more details are needed or any answers/ suggestions. Could you please e-mail me at Koshibou@hotmail.com Thank you.
Also,
Einstein? Really?
Well, who knows. Some speculate he had it, others say no, cos he had a good sense of humor, which people with Asperger’s don’t often have. <Alls> I can say is I have a pretty good sense of humor and I have it. Why couldn’t Einstein? I struggled a lot to read this word in the sentence. It took me a couple of minutes to try and work around it and decided that it can be considered as trying to be 'cute' in saying alls instead of all as some people seem to do. Even though I know you must have meant all. This is the part that I hate about how I work (Whether it is AS, OCD or anything else) that and the fact that I am so interested in what I am doing now that I have been at this for 4 hours now. *sigh*
Its not true at all that people with it dont have a sense of humor -- what a severe generalization. I write romantic comedy novels for God's sake, I should think I've got a sense of humor. Ive no idea if you've got Aspergers, you may just be HSP. Its not a very easy thing to diagnose but if you're not having problems of some kind, I really wouldn't worry about it. Having this is something I rarely ever think about, it shouldn't be something that defines who you are.
Thank you for posting this highly informative Blog. I have recently as an adult become aware of having AS, and while it is very refreshing to finally have an answer to so many of my questions, and find a corrolation between so many of my issues, things that have plagued me all my life, it is also now a whole new unknown world to me, rrealizing I am on the Autistic Spectrum.
It is also good to see someone who has reasonably adapted ( as I have, except socially, and things like balancing a checkbook, or doing paperwork which cause me to have panic attacks ), and too see yet another one of the many faces of Asperger's, instead of the blanket generaliztions of the Wikis and peoples perceptions, which are so off sometimes.
Some want to think I can't have AS, because I am highly functional is certain areas, but readding from yours and several other blogs, it is apparant that there are several degrees of of it, and that no one characteristic is one size fits all.
aGAIN, thank you, and I hope you post more int he future.
We've got to stick together, you know they're trying to 'cure' us?
"This is not always the case. I certainly can, but I do have tremendous difficulty reciprocating with facial expressions or physical gestures."
Thank you! I have explained this to professionals who thought that I literally could not read the most obvious expressions. I have a mild case as well.
Wow. I'm 16 years old (and a girl) and was just diagnosed with autism. As odd as it seems, I've never been happier! I finally know why I'm so... different. It explains everthing, from the bullying since I was a kid to the fact that my only friend is an ex-teacher of mine that is old enough to be my mother. It's such a relief.
I was just wondering, can people with AS have steady relationships and eventally get married and start a family? You see, I've never been that good with romantic relationships. In high school, my best friends were guys. It was so much easier to relate to them, you know, the whole not caring about what you look like, wearing baggy jeans and t-shirts and having no problem with it. Well, I'm not sure what happened, but apparently I "changed: over the coarse of the summer and guys actually started being interested in me. It was so weird for me that I got into some really bad situations. I now realize that I never caught on to their flirting, and the hidden meanings behind the things that they would say or do. But now, I've found someone who I can really relate to. We went to the same school in Jr. High and were the main targets of the bullying, name calling, and physical abuse. I believe that he too is an Aspie. So I'm curious as to whether or not Aspies are capable of having "romantic" relationships.
Oh, by the way, the reason why I use the past tense when I talk about High Schoolo is because I'm going to college now. Boy, is this Aspie deal a major gift!
Really great hub, good information, well expressed! We just found out about Aspergers a few years ago and it seems it runs all through our family & friends. We are definitely feeling like it's much more prevalent than has been thought... at least in our area of rural New Mexico where everyone is a little peculiar socially. Thanks for this!
I'm an Aspergian who has the most wonderful relationship (hi Vicki!) though many times I thought it would never be possible.
I think Autism and HSP are functionally different names for the same phenomena... ditto ADD, ADHD, chronic ptss... there is a lot of confusion mostly promulgated by so many researchers who are commenting from outside the group(s) as opposed to from within.
To me the people in all these groups share the trait of tending to go within for support/guidance/motivation/comfort as opposed to 'neurotypicals' who largely look outside for these things. This may be one of the reasons relationship is difficult, though deep ties can be established and maintained.
It's also the reason we appear 'odd,' since we have failed to reference outside 'authorities' while we were forming our personalities/selves. I think less 'odd' than is supposed, I personally believe we are about 10% of the population but that most of us have learned to hide/blend in very effectively.
I've used a lot of creativity and steadfast defiance over the years (I'm 52) to carve out a life that gives succor and nourishment to my 'aspergian side,' allowing me to choose my own direction maximally while not getting me burned or nailed to anything.
We can be just as happy as anyone else -- happier than many, because in important ways we have more experiential freedom. We just have to be willing to find our OWN way in a culture that is designed for a very different mode of mental/social function.
i rely like this other AS girl with beautiful hair and face,i slightly *think* she ikes me bac can u help
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! I am so happy that FINALLY i have found someone with AS who depicts their life as being happy and pretty much "normal". I have been searching high and low for an article like this. My son has AS. The neuropsychologist says it's very mild. I would just like to believe that he can have AS but still have friends,be athletic, chase girls,blah blah. All the things that other kids do. I can dream can't I?
Isabella Snow says:
2 years ago
Aspergers is *not* OCD and that's not something I'm going to argue about, it's too complex for a hub comment. As for your other questions, there are varying levels of Asperger's and it's different for everyone. Being smart is not something 6 and 7 year olds tend to be jealous of - you're looking at it like an adult. You would not have thought I had challenges with any kids if you were an observer.