Assertiveness training is an important way to help improve our mental health and well-being. It eases shyness and feelings of alienation by helping people ask for what they need, and receive it. There are many assertiveness training methods and workshops available. This article will discuss a new approach to assertiveness training that directly addresses the unconscious mind though subliminal message mental self help programs. It will use examples from "Ask and Receive DSPP" (see link at bottom of page), a mental self help subliminal message program produced by ClydeSight Productions.

Assertiveness is the ability to stand up for yourself without being aggressive. It is also the ability to ask for what you want. It is vital to good mental health because without it, we become "doormats" and feel abused and alienated. In response we can become passive aggressive or downright arrogant, thus amplifying our alienation because we "push people away" and develop unhealthy outlooks on life.

Assertiveness Training is a methodology that seeks to help people improve their assertiveness. There are many methods, usually courses or workshops and seminars. These address assertiveness from the conscious level, giving people tools they can use to deal with feelings of inadequacy and improve their ability to ask for what they need. Some of these tools are:

• "Broken Record" – staying focused and repeating your request without becoming sidetracked by irrelvant arguments.
• Positive self talk – encouraging yourself to be more assertive through positive conscious affirmations.
• Objectivity – seeing the situation from the "big picture" to avoid getting emotionally hooked into frustration and pointless justification of your request..

There are, of course, may more beneficial tools provided in many assertiveness training workshops and seminars.

Assertiveness Training workshops have some built-in limitations.

• If a person suffers from a lack of assertiveness, he or she may avoid taking the workshop that can help.
• A shy person in such a workshop can "hide", making more work for the facilitator who has to "draw him or her out", or be lost in the crowd if it is a large workshop.
• Assertiveness training workshops and seminars can be expensive (though many are free) and they do take a time commitment and involve some degree of travel.
• Individual attention may not be possible.

Assertiveness training workshops and seminars work with changing unconscious thought through conscious manipulation. In some workshops, participants practice assertiveness techniques until they are satisfied with the results. However, since the workshop has a time limit, and there are many participants, not all the participants may get the help they need. They can very often arrange for a private consultation with the facilitator in many cases.

Some assertiveness training workshops and seminars tend to work from a defensive point of view. They train people to deal with passive aggression in others, and what to do when their assertiveness practice meets strong resistance. This sets up a negative expectation. The goal is to provide the participants with tools to manage any situation, but for some, this can be frightening and cause them to avoid assertiveness instead of use it. A good facilitator might discover this and help the individual.

Not all assertiveness training workshops and seminars deal with the other side of assertiveness – receiving what is asked for. One can ask and then turn down what comes back! Receiving is the second half of the assertiveness equation and equally important or the entire process is meaningless. Some people need help in receiving because they can "talk themselves out of it" upon further reflection.

A real life example is this:

A woman very assertively went to a furniture store to buy an armchair. She asked for what she wanted in the features of the chair, tested several chairs, negotiated a good price, paid for the chair, and set up the delivery.

Two days later, she decided she had paid too much, bought the wrong chair; the store would somehow "cheat her", and cancelled the order.

She did get her money back, and she never bought another armchair from any store. When asked what happened, she admitted: "I talked myself out of it!"

Thanks to modern technology, assertiveness training can be provided by mental self help programs, such as self hypnosis and subliminal message programs. They have some advantages over the workshop approach to assertiveness training and can help some people who cannot take an assertiveness training workshop.

• They are relatively inexpensive.
• They are individual, pure one-on-one.
• They deal directly with unconscious thoughts and feelings rather than going through the conscious-unconscious interface.
• They are completely private.
• They don't involve any travel.
• They have no time limits - you can use them over and over again.

Not all assertiveness training mental self help programs are created equal, however. The subliminal messages contained in such programs must be well targeted towards assertive blocks and completely positive in nature.

One mental self help program that does manage this is "Ask and Receive DSPP" (link at the bottom of this page), a subliminal message program from ClydeSight Productions. It contains targeted assertiveness messages created with the advice and counsel of a certified hypnotherapist. It goes further by empowering the user's ability to receive as well as ask for what he or she needs and wants. Examples of the targeted subliminal messages in this program are:

• "I deserve to have all the things I need and want." (targets the undeserving issue)
• "I am free of embarrassment about asking for what I need or want." (targets the toxic shame issue)
• "It feels very good to receive from others." (targets the inability to accept from others issue)
• "I ask for and gratefully receive what I need and want." (targets the aggressive "you-owe-me" issue)

The program contains many such targeted subliminal messages.

A well designed mental self help assertiveness training program will not address defenses against aggression in others because to do so can establish a negative modality in the unconscious mind. Instead, these programs will focus on the benefits and empowerment of the individual's positive outlook and expectations. The power of expectation is an important positive factor in success without becoming defensive.

Assertiveness is an important aspect of good mental health. Assertiveness training methods are ways to help people increase their assertiveness without becoming aggressive or arrogant.

Many assertiveness training workshops and seminars are available at a cost, or even for free in some situations. They do involve a time commitment and some degree of travel.

Mental self help programs bring assertiveness training into the home by providing the basics of assertiveness training in convenient and private self hypnosis and subliminal message programs.