The Sacramento Valley Astronomical Society has been in existence since 1945. The organization has regular star parties and many other special events and monthly meetings; it also offers scholarships to students of astronomy. I, Kosmo, have been attending star parties at Blue Canyon since 1992. I've had many good times viewing the celestial vault while visiting with friends and partaking of refreshments. (With a name like Kosmo, what else would I be doing?)

I've seen many spectacular sights while at these star parties, including Comet Hale-Bopp in April 1997. The comet resembled a gigantic light bulb hanging up there in the sky! Anyway, I've seen a lot at Blue Canyon over the years and would like to share with you something really unusual that I saw during the summer of 2001. The following is a short story based on this event. Don't worry, it's not very long! Please read UFO at the Big 33:

Ed hoped for a good night of stargazing, but his wife Wilma seemed bent on initiating the Big Bang.

The astronomy club arranged star parties throughout the summer months on the Saturday night nearest the new moon (or no moon). The location was Blue Canyon Airport, near the town of Emigrant Gap, about a mile in elevation in the pine forests of the Sierra Nevada in California.

Ed wheeled his pickup truck along the short access road and continued onto the tarmac, an asphalt area perhaps 150 feet wide and twice as long, where another 20 carloads of folks had parked and were now setting up telescopes, camping gear and amenities. The observatory, a long, single-story building, stood on the east side of the tarmac, its retractable roof now open. From time to time, people filed through the front entrance, perhaps hoping to get a view through the 16-inch Ritchey-Chrétien telescope. On the opposite side of the tarmac, a 3,300-foot runway stretched from north to south. The number painted at the south end of the runway was 33 - the Big 33, as Ed called it. (Planes and helicopters seldom used this public, unattended runway, as it was reserved for emergency purposes or training exercises.)

The middle-aged couple, married for 25 years, attracted little attention as they climbed from the cab of the truck. Ed waved at two of his fellow male astronomers, while Wilma kept to herself, as usual. Like most people well into their forties, Ed and Wilma carried a few extra pounds, though they appeared reasonably fit. Ed had recently grown a gray-flecked goatee. As for Wilma, a natural brunette, she had dyed her hair blonde. She had also given up cigarette smoking - at least as far as her husband could tell.

Ed began unloading his 11-inch Celestron, a top-of-the-line reflector telescope costing thousands of dollars.

"Gotta wonder if this is necessary," Wilma said, as she erected a portable table and began placing reading materials and other items upon it.

"Necessary?" Ed asked.

Wilma pointed with her head at the Celestron. "You still owe big bucks on that pretty thing. Can't we look through other people's scopes?"

Ed threw her a look of reproof. "Wilma, the best way to learn about telescopes is to own and operate one."

"Why wasn't the old one good enough?"

"It was junk, Wilma, a stone-age Dobsonian with a pitted mirror. I might as well have owned the proverbial department store telescope."

Wilma nodded her head in the negative, as if such a gesture were possible. "Whatever you say, Ed."

"Thanks, Wilma. My hands are full. Can you get me a Coke?"

From the table, Wilma glared at Ed. "I've only got two hands."

"Like most humans, Wilma. Maybe you should turn ET, grow some extra tentacles or something."

"Very funny, Ed. Can I write that down?"

"First, get me the Coke. Please, okay?"

Grunting with the effort, Ed lifted the optical portion of the telescope, placed it on the mount and then screwed it into place. "Got it!" Ed cried triumphantly, waving a fist. He then patted the scope in a few places, sighing with pleasure. Out of the corner of her eye, Wilma watched him.

Ed growled and snatched a Coke from the ice chest. "Gotta get it myself," he muttered. While sipping, he viewed the western horizon, where the ruddy orb of the sun seemingly melted like a mound of sherbet.

Once Ed finished putting together the Celestron, he sat with Wilma in lawn chairs, while the sky gradually darkened to navy and indigo. Soon the planets Venus and Jupiter popped into view, as well as the reddish star Arcturus, directly overhead. And, toward the northwest, tiny Mercury shined visibly, about 10 degrees above the trees on the opposite side of the runway.

As Wilma thumbed through a women's magazine, she asked, "How long do we have to wait till dark?"

Ed lowered an eyelid. "You know how long it takes, Wilma, we've been up here enough times. In mid summer it doesn't get completely dark until ten-thirty."

Wilma flattened her mouth. "It's getting too dark to read." She tossed the magazine onto the table. "What do I do now?"

"Take a nap, maybe? Use your imagination. Even though it's not very dark yet, I'm looking at Jupiter." Ed took the GoTo hand control and, using the electronic drive, slewed the scope toward the glinting planet. When Ed brought the belts and zones of the gas giant into focus, he asked," Can you name any of the Galilean satellites, Wilma?"

Wilma's eyes flickered like a distant star. "No," she answered. "Why should I?"

"Well, if we're gonna bond with this stuff, you should learn more about astronomy."

"Oh," Wilma said, nodding and frowning and rolling her eyes in a comedic fashion. "A satellite? Like GPS or something?"

"No, a moon, like our moon. But scientists prefer the word satellite."

"Okay, smart man, what are the names of those Galleys?"

Ed told her the names of the four largest satellites of Jupiter: Io, Ganymede, Callisto and Europa.

"I like the name Europa. Good name for a daughter," she added, looking coy.

"We're not having anymore kids."

"I know. At my age, I couldn't get pregnant if I watched porno movies for three weeks straight."

"Didn't bring any of those, I hope. Wow, I can see the shadow of a moon on Jupiter!"

"Don't you mean - shadow of a satellite?"

Ed pulled away from the eyepiece and grinned. "You're learning, honey. What's the largest satellite in the solar system?"

Wilma made a silly, puzzled look. "Mars?" she said.

"Oh, you're messing with me, aren't you?"

Wilma snickered in an evil fashion, reached into the ice chest and pulled out a beer. "Cheers, baby. I'm getting ripped."

Ed smiled tightly. "You better not, sweetheart."

Wilma laughed.

When nightfall finally came, Ed looked through the telescope while Wilma stood along the periphery of the woods, near the latrine, drinking her second beer. Once or twice, Ed glimpsed the ember of a burning cigarette near Wilma's face. "Uh-huh," Ed kept saying to himself, "uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh."

Minutes later, while Ed showed Wilma the Whirlpool Galaxy in the telescope, Ed backed away a step, crossed his arms and said, "A few minutes ago I saw a little meteor streaking by your head."

Wilma turned from the eyepiece and gaped at Ed. "A little Meteor?"

"Admit it, Wilma. You were smoking."

"That was a firefly." She returned her attention to the eyepiece. "This is the great outdoors, mister, isn't it?"

Ed made a clucking sound with his tongue. "There are no fireflies in California."

"Wanna bet?"

"I'd bet my telescope."

Wilma sat in a lawn chair, yawned, stretched and then gazed toward the southwestern part of the sky. "I love the Milky Way," she said. "Isn't the center of the galaxy over there in Sagittarius?" She pointed to the Milky Way, its star clouds and dust lanes.

"Yes, the Maya called that dark area the cosmic vagina."

Wilma looked outraged. "Ed, watch your mouth!"

"I will, if you stop smoking."

Wilma smirked and looked down at the tarmac. She tapped her sneakers on the pavement, seemingly keeping the beat to an imaginary tune.

"I didn't hear a response."

"I didn't give one."

"Come over to the scope and I'll sight in the Lagoon Nebula."

Wilma nodded with obvious boredom. "I've seen it a hundred times. You can even see it without the telescope." For emphasis, she pointed.

"But it's always good, like Messier Thirteen in Hercules."

Suddenly, Wilma jabbed a finger into the sky. "What's that?" She ejected from her chair. "Over there!"

Ed followed her finger to the southeast, where, about 30 degrees above the tree line, a glowing red object slowly descended. At arm's length, it seemed about the size of a grape. "What the heck," he said. He grabbed his 7 X 50 binoculars and took a closer look.

The object gradually dropped at a shallow angle and in a northern direction, moving more or less toward the airport and all the telescope enthusiasts. From time to time, the object emitted reddish embers or sparks, as if burning.

By now, many people had spotted the curious thing. Gasps, sharp whispers and nervous laughs filled the tarmac. Many people thought it was a meteor, while a few thought it was a space ship. All eyes seemed directed toward the plunging, burning UFO. "Probably a plane coming down," Wilma said.

"No," Ed said.

"Isn't this an airport?"

"Of course it is."

"I see fire. It's a plane crashing!"

"Wilma, it's probably a rocket booster re-entering the atmosphere." Ed took another look through the binoculars. "It's kind of cylindrical or cigar-shaped. Here, look at it through the binos." Ed stepped toward Wilma and said, "Look, Wilma."

"We've got to save the passengers!" Wilma dropped her beer and bolted toward the woods.

Ed stomped his foot. "Have you lost your mind?"

About this time, the object dipped behind the pine trees, and then many people cheered, applauded or waved their arms jubilantly. "Where are the Little Green Men?" somebody yelled, generating chuckles. One man hollered, "Gotta love it - another Tunguska Fireball!"

"Wilma, come back here!" Ed shouted, as Wilma disappeared in the pine trees. Ed set his binoculars on the table and jogged after his wife.

In the forest, Ed looked for his wife behind trees and in the Manzanita and black oak. Again and again he called her name. When he was about to return to the tarmac, figuring Wilma probably had done the same, a shadow leaped at him and knocked him to the ground. Wilma pinned Ed's arms to the ground. "Now I've got you!" she cried.

In shock and bewilderment, Ed asked, "Wilma, are you drunk?"

"Don't need to be."

"Get off me now - my shirt and pants are filthy."

"Finally I got you away from your precious telescope."

"What are you doing?"

"More fireworks, baby!" She kissed Ed on the lips and starting popping the buttons on his shirt. "Get that off."

"Wilma, people saw me running after you. They'll be curious. What if they follow us here and see us?"

"Good for them - more wonders of the universe."

Ed kept thinking about his expensive telescope. What if somebody put their hands on it, stole an eyepiece or something? Then, eventually, Ed stopped resisting and went with the flow. When his wife was like this, there wasn't much else he could do.

If you are interested in the Sacramento Valley Astronomical Society and its star parties at Blue Canyon, check out the website at http://www.svas.org/

Happy stargazing!