The american television industry of the 1980s gave the world two family-type sitcoms that prolifetated the culture and beyond: Married With Children and The Cosby Show .AL Bundy (Ed O'Neill), a shoe salesman, and his wife, Peggy (Katey Sagal), a homemaker, demonstrated commited to marriage and family by staying together with their two children despite the very dysfunctional style of marriage and family dynamics dramatized in each episode, Their staying together was good. Their acute dysfunction was painful to watch.

On the other hand, Cliff Huxtable (Bill Crosby), an obstetrician, and his wife, Clair (phylicia Rashad), an attorney, also demonstrated a hgh level of commitment to their marriage and family that included the fivechildren. Their problem-filled lives, however, modeled an underlying joy by the way they handled their relational issues with grace, skill and affirmation. The question we pose is this: Which model does your family more frequently resemble?

On august 26,2004, my parents celebrated 20 years of marriage. To say they celebrated an accurate and fitting description of the emotional, spiritual, physical, and intellectual pursiuts we have engaged in which each other for the past two decades of our lives. It has not been all fun and games. Nevertheless, their lives together have been such an extraordinarry and rewarding experience that we would ditto that reality all over again. We are satisfied with the notion that God in His infinite wisdome, love and grace led us to find each other for shared growth, inspiration, and joy.

While the statement about their marriage is true, it does not guarantee a happy and rewarding marriage in days and years ahead. For the good marriage to remain good, a husband and wife must be intentional about connecting with each other in a meaningful way each day, and trusting in god for the strength to remain commitment to connecting daily with each othe. It may sound like circular reasoning; however, a rewarding martial experience goes beyond spending long years together. This kind of relationship is nurtured by daily conveying special value to each other in marriage. It is about intimacy

What Is Intimacy?

intimacy in this context, is deep, mutual sharing of feelings, goals, and dreams between spouses on a regular basis. It is the honest dialogue that communicates "weare on the same team" and " I care deeply about your prespective on any given issue because I care deeply for you and i am deeply comitted to your well-being." Intimacy involves being transparent with your spouse, and having nothing to hide because you have both worked hard at making your relationship a safe place in which to speak and live.

Genesis 2:24, 25 to agreat extent describes intimacy when it says: "for this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined with his wife; and they shall beccome one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed."

The notion of leaving parents implies that marriage is an intimate relationship between a man and a woman who separate  themseves, in a matter of speaking, from the intimacy of their family of origin to become one flesh. Within one flesh is an intimacy that is special and exclusive between just the two of them. The other concept in this passage ----naked---- which indicates nudity, it also suggest exposure, lack of concealment, and disguise. nakedness implies that those whithout sin in their concience have no shame in teir faces because they have nothing to hide. Nakedness goes beyond just physical nakedness to also include spiritual, emotional, intellectual, and even financial nakedness. What we have described is a transparent relationship.

Communication is an important ingredient in developing intimacy and a healthy mariiage relationship. growing a felationship without communication is like attempting to make orange juice without oranges. It is simply possible. Once a relationship is established, Communication remains the principal skill to maintaining intimacy. Contrary to popular opinion, the more intimate the realationship, the more sensitive the level of communication.

if you are married-- and this is also true for meaningful relationships with other people-- the quality of your relationship is based on the quality of your communication. Ccuples who communicate frequently and tenderly and harshly.We have warm and tender feelings for people who have made frequent deposits in our emotional bank account.

THE EMOTIONAL BANK ACCOUNT

the emotional bank account is like any other bank account we may have. We can only write a check, legally, from an account that has funds. To have funds in a  bank account we need to make regular deposits of funds into that account. If no deposits of funds are made to your bank account, no funds will be available against which to write checks. The same is true of the marriage relationship. When we communicate kindly with your spouse--- and that goes beyond mere words-- we are making deposits in our spouse's emotional bank account. The more deposits we make in our spouse's emotional bank account, the more emotional resource our spouse will have. In that type of environment communication is open and free. In a relationship in which the emotional bank account balance is low or overdrawn, however, there is a lack of trust and an absence of intimacy; and communication is stressful, unpleasant, and down right nasty.