Hi, my name is Patty,I am a mom of six, and as summer wanes and I prepare for my youngest to start school this Fall as a big 4th grader, there is in my heart, more than what should be just a little hiccup of hesitation... as he has a peanut/treenut allergy, and egg allergy and asthma.

This year as I followed up with his school principal regarding a few requests I had regarding keeping Harrison (Harry) safe, I think, fingers crossed, prayers said, that for the first time in a dozen years we have a better plan for his seating arrangement in the cafeteria, which I would like to share with those of you in my position should you be searching for answers too.

In the past, Harry was seated at a 'peanut-free' table. In theory this sounds okay, and is quite a common practice for younger, elementary-aged school children. However, Harry wasn't happy with this. For one, he still had peanutbutter eaters at his back, and the smell made his tummy upset. The proximity made him all-too-conscious of his allergy; and trying to make a mental note of his classmates who were eating it, and watching to see if they washed their hands, was to say the least, taxing. Additionally, Harry didn't get to choose with whom he sat, rather, waiting for his faithful friends to pick his table to sit at.

At the close of last year I had asked our principal if we could have a peanut-free zone, giving Harry a cushion of tables to surround his. As the school's cafeteria is limited the possibility of dedicating that many tables to be peanut-free, was deemed impractical by his principal. However, what she came up with has far exceeded my expectations. This year she has decided that at the top of each row of tables for each class she will designate that table to be the 'peanutbutter table'. This means, not only will Harry not be surrounded by peanutbutter eaters, he will also fare better mentally by not having to guess who eats where and washes up their hands afterwards, as the tables with peanutbutter eaters will be minimized. Hand-washing will be contained at these tables, so the process will much easier for out lunch aides than it has been on the 'honor system' as before (the loudspeaker would go off, and all children who had eaten peanutbutter would be dismissed to the washroom before running off to the playground). Harry, for the first time since he began school, will be able to sit with his own class at their table that doesn't have peanutbutter eaters!

I have been up and down on an emotional roller-coaster trying to keep my sons safe at school with their allergy, beginning 11 years ago when my older son,( now entering his senior year at highschool) started as one of the first children severely allergic to nuts, even to the touch, at school.

A the end of that summer, prior to his beginning kindergarten, my bestfriend came to visit us with her son, the same age. At this point I had known that Max was very allergic to peanuts, but was unaware that just from being touched by someone who had eaten it, or touching a surface that had peanutbutter on it, he could also get sick.I was stunned.

My girlfriend came in, kissed Max on the cheek , ruffled his hair, and sent her son Matt to play in Max's room with him. About 20 minutes later, Max came out of his bedroom with Mattie, because he needed me to reach a toy on a high shelf for them. Oh my gosh, he was a mess! Where my girlfriend had kissed him was an angry red strawberry raised and full of multiple small hives, creating a mountain on his cheek. Additionally, her son had been at camp earlier and had made peanutbutter bird feeders as a craft. Matt's clothing must've had peanutbutter remnants on it as well....Max was covered with hives that looked like stripes or welts, as if he had been whipped. He was also red and puffy all over. I asked my friend to leave,although she wanted to help me, I just wanted to shower Max, and clean my home and his toys with bleach. I threw Max in the shower, gave him his shot of epinephran, and although it was scary, and a time-consuming clean-up (I can still remember soaking all of his toys in bleach, scrubbing his room, the walls, et, throughout our home to free the surfaces of peanut oils), I was thankful that I had discovered this part of his allergy before he began kindergarten.

At that point, my school had never encountered, nor heard of a child, who could get sick not only from eating the peanuts, but from touching surfaces where peanut had been or from others touchng him who had eaten peanutbutter. I arranged for a meeting with our then-school's principal (long gone since that time), and with my newborn daughter in her infant seat, my husband and I proceeded. I explained his allergy and asked the principal if the children in his class who ate peanutbutter could be supervised as they washed their hands afterwords, to keep him safe. The principal looked at me as though I had 3 heads. She told me that there was no way that all of those kids could wash up, that this would constitute an interuption of class-time. I left in tears, saying that if this was the case then my son could not attend school.

Deep breath. I contacted my local legislator, who contacted the school. As well I called the Department of Nursing and Health, who advised our school principal that not only should my son's class wash their hands after eating peanutbutter to keep him safe, that the entire cafeteria of 800 children should also, to ensure his safety.

That was a long time ago. At the time, my next battle was I trying to figure out how to keep his peanut table actually peanut free (the same table was used after hours for scouts, i would get a call the enxt day that my son was in the nurses office full of hives and wheezing); the table had been used in another lunch period, and again the call from the school nurse. Finally, I began going to the table before his lunch period and cleaning it up myself. Still, the calls. Eventually, I went and tied a rope to the leg of the table, and laminated peanut-free signs, and taped them with industrial tape to the top.

Throughout the years I have been scared. I have been frustrated. I have felt as though I have been re-inventing the wheel at each new school that my oldest son attended. And yet? Here we are a decade later, and still the same mis-education and heart-ache occurs.

And now, all of these years later, my younger son will finally be able to go into the cafeteria, sit with his friends, and not be surrounded by the food that makes his tummy nauseas. As in the past, he won't be put into awkward and self-consious positions. In the first grade, his teacher actually had him figure out who in his class wasn't eating peanutbutter, and then would ask him to find a friend to sit with him! That was a BAAAAD year! Other years, his faithful friends were told that only one friend was allowed to sit with him at the peanut-free table, though in his lunch period, he was the only child with an allergy, so all 12 seats were open! Children would come from other classes to sit with Harry, only to be told by cafeteria aides to go back to their own seats!

I would be really remiss if I didn't thank and commend all of his friends and classmates, who asked their moms not to pack them peanutbutter so that they could sit with Harry, or not worry about washing up and getting their clothes full of that sticky stuff that could make their friend sick.

I don't know if the teachers and principals in the past just felt that I was making a mountain out of a mole-hill, over this allergy, as if it were fine for my children, and the many others like them, to sit alone. To worry in class after lunch if Tommy really did wash his hands, and pray that oh, please Miss Thomas, don't pair me up with Katrina after lunch, I saw her eating peanutbutter, and I don't want to be near her coz' she was wiping her hand across her face, and on her pants...and then she ran right out to the playground from the cafeteria without washing up her hands...at all!

Or did they not think that bringing cupcakes in for the others at Valentines Day, fully knowing these kids would be the only one in their class who couldn't eat them, thinking, oh, it is just one boy, they have their 'special snack', it is okay to leave them out. Or birthday after birthday, watching treats float by. And holiday parties. No matter how you ask, and explain, and bring in treats, there seems to be someone who doesn't understand, and they send in what they want, anyway, saying that their child shouldn't be deprived of the gooeyist, sloppiest dessert, not nut free, just because one kid can't eat it!

HR4063, The Anaphylaxis and Allergy Management Act of 2008, before the House of Representatives now, will hopefully pass this time. It will offer, free, to schools and restaurants, allergy education!

At my son's elementary school, one in twenty-three kids have this allergy now. This year, when his school nurse called me (not the one of long ago) to ask what I would like in the note to parents stating that, 'this year, your child is in a class with a student who has a life-threatening allergy to nuts".....I explained to her, how the mom's react unfavorably to this note. How on the beach, there are mothers who ask each other, 'oh, did you get the pink slip? Who is it in your class? Ugh. I was lucky last year, but?" I asked her if maybe, since now there is one child with a food allergy, in each and every class, in each and every grade, could we perhaps make that, a blanket note sent to all parents across the board? That, if the note read, "This year, due to the increase and prevalance of students in our school with life-threatening food allergies, in every class and every grade, we are asking that you refrain from sending peanutbutter snacks in , and keep them to the cafeteria for lunch". She ran this by the principal, who approved it. She also said, that on her end, this would save her from multiple phone calls from parents, wondering who was in their class with the allergy. From my standpoint, it seems to be a Hippa privacy violation to disclose and alienate the student with the allergy.

So, I have two reasons to celebrate this year. And two , to thank. One, God.

Two, my older son Max, who asked me, as a teen (he just turned 17) , not to let 'them' (the schools) do to his little brother Harry, what they did to him. Making him feel weird, responsible for inconveniences, being left out and singled out, continually.

There is a study which has recently come out, stating that children with diabetes have a better quality of life than those of children with a peanut allergy. This surprised me! The reason being, the child with the peanut allergy feels more fear when eating. Having to explain continually to others about the allergy, and then people think it is 'funny', or worse, don't take it seriuosly. Having to read ingredient labels, check food at friends houses, or bring your own, having to socialize and explain and inquire and wonder if the food they eat is safe. Being, different. Having the onus upon them, as though they did something wrong, this heavy weight, to explain to peers, and inquiring teachers, and friends, about their allergy. This is why the Allergy Education Act is VITAL!!!!

Let me close by saying that, there are times when I feel such frustration and heartach , at how adults (in particular, at this point in my 9-year old's life, school administration and teaching professionals, and , alas , our under-educated Board of Education; who, quite ironically has a school motto 'creating a safe and fair learning environment for our students' and 'creating kids of character'), can continue to perpetuate and mis-understand and be unkind about my children's peanut allergy. lDuring football season (my daughters cheered and the younger one is now cheering), among the candy being sold, oh, Reeces Peanutbutter Cups and Snickers Bars. I would take them off of the table, tuck them underneath, and explain that MANY children have a peanut allergy, that it wasn't safe to sell that candy here, at a township function, where we are trying to keep all of our kids healthy whilte they participate in their sport. The woman at the time who ran that stand, didn't agree. At our special Milk Bowl event, with all little league teams gathered, she chose to use peanut oil to fry those fritter things in. On top of this, when I returned the next season, not only were the peanutbutter candies on display, she had posted a huge sign of Mr. Peanut that stated, with a grin on his face, "We are NOT peanut-free". Or, my child having to figure out, as a first-grader, who in his class wasn't eating peanutbutter, and navigating his little 7-year old self through that tortuous year. Now, at 9, and entering the fourth grade, I pray for a better year! /when I ground myself and turn to the Lord, pick up a bible passage, I can think from a kinder place and I am able to handle these blows to my kids, with much more Grace.

"Let us run the race with perserverance" echos in my mind.....

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entales, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

-Hebrews 12:1-3

Thank you Lord. Perseverance has paid off, I will not lose heart, but rather, try and run this race with your Grace.

God Bless You,

Patty