5 Bad Reasons to Get Married
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There are reasons to get married, and there are reasons not to get married. There are also reasons which aren't quite good enough to get married and legally commit yourself to another person. The reasons I'm about to list should never be the sole reason behind any marriage proposal or proposal acceptance -- a bad, sad or unhappy marriage will just result in a divorce at some point anyway, which defeats the purpose of marrying for the wrong reasons. No matter how strong or determined you feel you or your partner to be, you owe it to yourself (and them) to avoid getting married for the wrong reasons. Read on for the Top 5 Bad Reasons to Get Married.
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1. Pregnancy
Let me elaborate on this before the right-wing nutters start waxing religious. If you're in love with someone (and they with you) and an unexpected pregnancy prompts a marriage proposal, your goo-goo feelings may just be enough to make it work. But, if you get pregnant by some stranger you drunkenly shagged in the pub toilets, this is not a good enough reason to get married, sorry. I'm not saying you should or shouldn't give the pregnancy up, but I am saying you owe it to yourself and your potential child to live in a solid, stable environment -- and it's highly unlikely that your situation is going to resemble this if you marry someone you've known for a few months.
2. Biological Clock ticking.
If you're a 30 year old female who has been holding out for Mr. Right, but suddenly realizes that he may not exist, you're not going to do yourself any favors by latching onto the next guy who falls in love with you. Yes, sure, you've probably been too picky over the years and missed a few good opportunities -- but this is no excuse to go marrying the Deli boy who's been crushing on you for the last two years. Just because a man gives you extra pickles on your hero sandwich doesn't mean his love will last.
3. Ultimatums.
If you've been with a guy or girl you really dig, but aren't quite ready to take things to the next level, that's your prerogative. If your boyfriend or girlfriend can no longer cope without being married to you, you owe it to them to make a decision, but you don't owe them your hand in marriage unless you're ready to give it. Ultimatums force quick decisions made in haste and one should never make decisions that way unless they have to.
4. Marrying for visas.
If you're a foreigner wanting to marry a citizen of the country you want to move to -- think again. Not only can't you know the person you're marrying, but you'll also have to live with them for several years before you can get divorced (and legally remain in the country). That, and Immigration can do all kinds of things to you if they catch on. Marrying for visas or citizenship is illegal and I strongly recommend against it.
5. Because your family wants you to.
Middle Eastern families, Asian families and many other cultures are full of parents who pressure their kids to marry people they don't really want to marry. In some cases, this kind of pressure is even encouraged by the law. If you live in the US, UK or other Western society, do not allow your family to determine who you marry!
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Comments
I think #5 applies even to Western families. One of my college friends moved in with her boyfriend after graduation and endured her mother starting every single conversation for the next year and a half with "Are you engaged yet?" And this was an extremely liberal college.
That said, I do agree that it's not as bad as my husband's native culture, where any single girl over the age of about 21 is considered an old maid.
Fortunately I was married not because of that reason. Love is above all.
i'm waiting for my cousin to give her boyfriend the ultimatim. ha she keeps mentioning marriage and how she wants to get married or how other people have been dating for a shorter period that she and her boyfriend and they're already engaged. Her hints are not subtle by any means. Her boyfriend ignores them for the most part.
Marrying for visa! That is interesting but then what? Once you are there you call it quits? I don't understand how people do it?
Marrying bcause family (parents) want you to is very common in Middle-East and South Asian countires. They will choose for you and then you are asked to choose among then list presented to you.
I love your hub! those are good reasons not to get married.
they a gud reasons but a u not married?i luv d write up anyway.i will b ur fan















jayb23 says:
7 months ago
Nice Hub. Iam an Indian and you bet females in India are constantly under pressure to get married as if that is the next best thing to do. T Keep up the good work.