I know that a lot of people are absolutely committed to getting their site all the way to number one in the search engines so more and more people can find their products, but what about if you want to ruin your rankings?

Wouldn't you prefer to join the ranks of the anti-SEO brigade and try to get that 1000+ listing that everyone craves? What about being banned from Google altogether? It's quite a feat, so here's how to do it.

It can be quite difficult to get completely banned from Google, however here are some crackers that will undoubtably knock your page right off the top page in super-quick time.

Hidden text

Lots has been said about hidden text but many I speak to really don't know what this means. I mean, why hide text at all, surely nobody could read it? Well, that's the point, it all stems from the idea that lots of text for Google is good, but too much would put potential buyers right off using your site.

So, you hide it in a way that means human visitors can't see it but Google picks it up as normal text. This is quite easy when you think about it - just make the text colour the same as the background colour. So, if your background is white, change the text to white, make sure it includes lots of your keywords and badda-bing, plenty of text for Google to gobble up that won't put your visitors off.

It's dead easy to do, too. First of all you need to find the background colour of your website, let's assume it's white which would make the 'hex' value 'FFFFFF'. Now all you need to do is to make sure all the text you're spamming with is white too. You do this by using the font 'color' tag, for example:

<font color = "FFFFFF">Here is my spammy text</font>

So that will put the text there, but you won't be able to see it! Fantastic news!

But how does this affect your ranking in Google? Well you're now going to have to wait for some guy to notice your site has done this and inform Google via WebMaster tools. Or, you could do it yourself for speedy results.

Confusion by quantity

Another great technique is just to confuse Google to the point where it hasn't a clue what your home page is about.

Let's assume you sell a whole range of products, for example, 'white goods' like fridges, microwaves and toasters. Google likes to know what each page in your site is actually about so ideally you make separate sections and pages for each different item.

But we're not looking to make it easy for Google so we can really confuse the bejeezus out of it by simply throwing it a curve-ball and mixing up all our products on one page. You could change the 'title' of the page to:

"Welcome to our fridge, cooker, washing machine, toaster, sandwich maker, cheap taps, inexpensive kitchen electrical appliances, fridge freezers, dishwashers, grills, sink units superstore for all the best in electrical and white good supplies direct to you from the manufacturer at the greatest prices"

Remember then to put even more in the 'description' meta-tag and then spread more content throughout the page.

For the content you need to be describing every item you sell in as much detail as possible.

Use of JavaScript

This is a fantastic technique as it means you can embed lots of spammy text and make it only available to users in certain ways. For example, I could have a hover button that is not normally seen but when someone hovers over a link, it's displayed in all its glory.

Google doesn't see JavaScript so you need to make sure you duplicate all your text in <noscript> tags.

Duplicate content & keyword density

Stands to reason that if Google is looking for text, it's looking for lots of it so go for broke on the amount you cram into your page and you'll be flying!

For your main keywords, try to get a keyword density of 25% +, so use the same keyword over and over again, constantly. Here's a great example:

"For the best in fridges, you should try our fridges shop where we have ample fridges to meet your fridges needs! Really, we're fridges mad so if you need 'fridges, fridges and yet more fridges' come to the only fridges friendly fridges website with fridge free delivery using fridge loaded fridge lorries delivering fridges all over the country"

Get the idea?

So, there are just a few methods that should see your site getting a kicking from Google in the near future. I'll be back with more very soon so if those don't work, there will be others that you can use to guarantee a Google de-listing and a loss of all visitors to your site!

But hang on, this is opposite to what I actually want!!!

Oh yeah. Well, there's a great DIY SEO Training guide right here. It's free, so worth it just for a giggle.