Bad Dog Habits

Women are fond of saying "men are dogs".

Some dogs may get a bit insulted with that remark. Nevertheless, there are many similarities between men and dogs.

Living together with a man is a big deal. Suddenly you have to put up with his many bad habits, all of the time. Living together with a dog is an even bigger deal. With dogs, it is truly a "till death do us part" commitment. There is no such thing as a divorce.

When you agree to bring a dog into your life, you are making that commitment for life.

And just like men, dogs have an array of bad habits. Consider them before going out and looking for some cheap puppies.

Dogs Snore Like Drunken Sailors.

This is my cute little Siberian Husky girl, Shania. She is the sweetest thing, but at night, she snores like a really large, really drunk, sailor.

At least when a man snores, you can give him a swift kick, and make him turn to the side. This will usually stop the snoring.

My little Siberian Husky girl, bless her heart, will snore in whatever position she is in.

Dogs Are Expert Stalkers.

I think that the Police song, Every Breath You Take, was composed for a dog.

Dogs really are expert stalkers. They like following you everywhere, and they watch everything that you do. My Shiba Inu likes sitting outside, and staring at passers-by, cars, and everything else.

He is known by some of my neighbors as "the little detective".

If he could talk, I bet he would have some really juicy stories to tell!

Dogs Are Not Ashamed of Begging.

My dogs learned really early on that their most powerful weapon is not their teeth, but their pretty face.

Dogs will pretty much do anything to get what they want, and that includes begging. Beware! They are very, very, good at it, and they will do it whenever they want something from you, which is pretty much all the time.

A Dog's Favorite Perfume is Eau De Skunk.

A dog's favorite scent is not Dior, CK, or even Old Spice. Rather, dogs like dead things that smell like, well, dead things. Rolling around in a dead thing to acquire that oh-so-quaint aroma is often the highlight of a dog's day.

Smelling and eating poop is also a favorite dog activity. Bird poop is like dog caviar. What the cat, horse, and goat left behind is also on my dogs' top ten list of food and scents.

Dogs Are Landscaping Addicts.

You may think that your yard is perfect or close to perfect but your dogs know better.

Yards often have a boring, flat surface, look. All dogs know that the most interesting, beautiful yards, are the ones that have the most number of holes.

Dogs are such optimists that they always have a can dig attitude. Even when your entire yard is riddled with holes, they always find a way to add just one more. Finally, all the holes combine into one large, big, flat-surface hole, and the process starts all over again.

Dogs Drool, Belch, and Fart.

Dogs live in the moment.

They will pretty much drool, fart, belch, and whatever else, in the moment as well. Think Homer Simpson, except much cuter, and with more hair.

Dogs Are Lazy About Personal Hygiene.

When women say "men are dogs", this is probably one of the key reasons why.

Like men, dogs will sometimes clean themselves, but most of the time, they prefer to just lie around, watch t.v., and go to sleep. Even when you offer to give them a bath, brush their teeth, clip their nails, and wipe their muddy paws, they will object in a most virulent fashion.

The best way to get a man, err I mean dog, to let you groom him, is to pair grooming with something pleasant. Feeding your dog often does the trick.

Dogs Shed, and Shed, and Shed.

Dogs are cute, and cuddly because they have all that soft, plush, silky hair that you love running your fingers through.

What they often fail to advertise is that the hair comes off - all the time.

The amount of hair shed varies greatly by dog breed, so careful research is a must. Before getting a dog, make sure that you are not allergic to dog hair. Also get used to having dog hair all over your floors, furniture, clothes, and other prized possessions.

Frequent brushing, will help ensure that the hair comes off in a more controlled, and manageable fashion. A Furminator is highly recommended.

Dogs Think that the World is Their Toilet.

Dogs, especially puppies, find it extremely inconvenient to have to go to the toilet like we do. Interrupting dog play for a trip to the loo seems like a big waste of time, so they will just do it on the go. After all, they have unpaid human servants to clean up after them, so life is good.

The best way to potty-train a dog is to teach him that toileting outside, is more fun than a Chuck-E-Cheese trip.

My Siberian Husky puppy was difficult to house-train because she didn't seem to mind frolicking in her own waste products. As soon as she has to go, which is when she wakes up, and after every 10-15 minutes of play-time; I take her outside and give her the command "Go Potty".

When she goes potty, I praise her very well and give her yummy dog treats. Then, she goes back to playing. Very quickly, she learnt to go sit by the door whenever she needed to go potty. After all, pottying inside gets her nothing, but pottying outside, is a happy bonanza of praise, treats, and affection.

A Dog's Favorite Chew Toy is Everything.

Before you bring a puppy or new dog home, make sure to store away all of your prized possessions.

Do not leave your Jimmy Choo shoes around, or it will quickly become designer rawhide. Make sure to put cell-phones, iPhones, iPods, and all other expensive equipment on a high shelf.

Proper puppy training and puppy management is a must. Supervise your dog when he is out and about, but otherwise, crate him. Make sure to provide many interactive, dog friendly, chew toys.

An iPhone may be coolest thing since sliced bread, but it is not friendly to a dog's digestive system, nor is it friendly to your pocketbook when you pay the vet bill.