So I was walking around in Wal-Mart one day, just chillin', when all of the sudden I came upon the most awesome thing my eyes have ever witnessed: Badass T-shirts with mean, cool-looking animals on them. My life was completely changed forever that day...

I decided to buy one of these mean-looking animal t-shirts and took it home, eagerly anticipating the feel of fresh cotton with a screenprinted wolf on it against my skin. I put it on, and the shirt completely took control of my entire body, transforming me from a 98 pound weakling with no self-confidence into a full-blown stud. I was the cock of the walk, a sex machine with a mean-looking animal on my shirt protecting me from any and all danger. All the chicks were in awe of my newfound swagger. And men were terrified of the vicious, wild creatures emblazoned across my chest. Needless to say, this badass shirt with mean, cool-looking animals on it had completely re-invigorated my life.

Soon I had shirts with all sorts of scary, badass animals on them: wolves, grizzly bears, lions, tigers, badgers, weasels, sharks, bats, polar bears, bulldogs - You name it, and I had it. Finally, I discovered the Three Wolf Moon shirt, and my life was finally complete. I can now die in peace thanks to all of these badass shirts with mean animals on them in my closet.