Bah! Humbug...
72In the spirit of the season, I bring you a cynical look at the holidays
Everyone loves their own little cynic inside themselves, so go ahead and join me, Uncle Scrooge, as we embark ona journey to tell you why I don't like Christmas.
Christmas is a time for people to shop 'til they drop, eat 'til they pop, or best yet....die. Yes, I've come to find that the best time and place to die is early morning on a Wal-Mart floor after you spent all night camping outside its doors. I cannot imagine a better way to go! And guess what, I'd be singing "Jingle Bells" all the way down too. The only regret I'd have is that I missed out ona cheap arsed TV for 800 bucks I'd probably use a credit card to buy!
Now Christmas isn't just about toys. I mean, toys are 99.541% of the equation here, but let's be honest: family is in there too...and with family comes food. At least in my family it does...
Now I come from a long line of either irish descent or german, or both mixed into the batter entirely making the strongest beer you've ever had. Couple this with the fact that both irish and german women are trained from the womb to cook a lot of food (and it doesn't always have to be good food so long as it keeps the beer coming) and you have the recipe for the Christmas Fifteen. Some people tend to edge around Twenty at this time of year, but what the heck, it's Christmas! A time to get together with family, enjoy outdated traditions and make excuses for elaborate gifts to people who don't need them by subbing in the phrase "Jesus gave us a better gift so I can go ahead and buy you this glass pipe you don't really need!"
Really now, how many people truly have had a history class? Need I remind you that Christmas wasn't always with the word "Christ" ? I am a reverent Christian too (although many who disagree with me tend to think I'm on the opposite side of the wall) and therefore I take any time of the day to remember that I have a God. Why then do we have this one special day to give Jesus a reason for a seasonal praise? I think it makes us feel good.
The tradition is actually very Catholic, but the fundies in America have twisted it to their favour and made Christmas so much more than just remembering Christ's birthday...which wasn't even remotely in a snow covered December, mind you. They have turned it into the consumer-driven "worship" it is today. By numbing our skulls to anything of Biblical significance, something that should have been predominantly a family-based holiday turned into a shopper's express coupled with religious exercise. And you wonder why this hub is titled "Bah! Humbug..."
You have your answer now!
Christmas is not religious. It has pagan roots that we've somehow turned into something we have imagined to be a commandment of God. So much so that ANYONE who so much as ignores the "Christmas story" in Matthew or Luke is destined to hell immediately. Don't believe me? You obviously don't know the people I do. It is a cardinal sin to NOT read the Christmas story. Apparently somewhere in that make-believe Bible these people read there's a statement alongside of Christ's commandments to celebrate the Lord's Supper to also celebrate a pagan holiday known a "Christmas." In fact, the etymological meaning of the word is Catholic in root too! It literally means "Christ-MASS", so if you want the truly traditional method of worship on Christmas you'd be doing a few hail-Mary's and kneeling/standing for three hours on the holiday itself.
I don't know too many baptists who are that into the holiday.
Christmas is neither religious nor is it family oriented. I mean, we've convinced ourselves that it is, but what has happened is the general tide coming in of slefishness in a time of year we're so used to that we're numb to any true goodwill we could do towards others. As "God Rest Ye Merry" says:
Tidings of comfort and joy...
I feel neither comfort nor joy at this time of year. I work retail and generally speaking, I've managed to snuff out all feelings of warmth and fuzziness on the heads of senial customers. I also refuse to use the slogan "Jesus is the reason for the season" because historically speaking, that holiday was started by someone else. So...I don't think Jesus is going to consider me less a Christian because I decided to rebel against human invention in the first place...!
Lastly, I hate family gatherings. We can choose our friends, not our family, and that alone makes me cringe when I think of mine. Of course my wife's is even worse, and we tend to stick to ourselves in the holidays.
Join me in cynism, come one come all to the lovely holiday gathering called "BAH! Humbug" and enjoy a nice shot of eggnog before shooting Santa Claus.
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Hey thanks SWP. I don't believe in overrating a single holiday dogged with over giving of useless trinkets for gifts. I respect those who are religious on the holiday, but I've since childhood grown out of such a notion, in all honesty. I think Chanukah is at least an honest religious holiday that is original to Jewish culture, while Christmas is a borrowed escapade in its entirety.
nice hub
In 1999, I had a great personal tragedy. I wanted nothing to do with anybody that Christmas. I politely explained why, and my friends and family understood. Still, altough I know "Dec 25" is not the actual birtday of Jesus, I couldn't let it go. I went to the store and bought a small birthday cake. A few candles. (I figured 2000 would be a fire hazard, so I just randomly picked some.) Had the lady at the store put "Happy Birthday Jesus" on the cake. I took it home. I lit the candles. Blew them out for Him. Cried a lot. Ate cake. And celebrated His birth.
This for me, was Christmas, 1999. Comfort and Joy? Yes. Even and perhaps especially in my pain and sorrow.
Thanks Lgali!
I agree, BD, sometimes there are times to simply be alone. I for one am sick of holidays in this country, too much ridiculousness in consumer's minds and I'm sick of the capitalist agenda of copping money off people simply because it's a holiday...it's SO materialistic it's maddening...
BDazzler brings up a good point t.keeley--Namely, that because expectations of 'comfort and joy' run so insanely high this time of year, anything that falls short of that is all the more painful. A personal tragedy, a sad past, a dysfunctional family--any of these can turn a normally annoying season into an excruciating one. Suicides spike at Christmas, as people realize how far from the fantasy they fall.
In my family of origin, Christmas was a time for everyone to slam down as many stiff drinks as possible and wait for the inevitable family drama and/or explosion. We got to where we'd take bets on whose turn it was to run out of the house crying, although I'm relieved to say it was never me.
God, now the memories come back... Man, you had to start this didn't you!! LOL! Well, maybe I'll have to write my own hub so I can put the FUN back into a happy dysFUNctional Christmas! Ho fu*#ing ho ho!
(Cheer up---it's almost over!)
Having done my share of retail in my time, I completely understand your feelings this time of year. Hang in there...and Merry Christmas, anyways!
Pam, as usual you bring a chuckle every time you comment on these pessimistic hubs of mine ;) I am a dysFUNctional fam too, so I know the feeling. I am the guy who puts down as many beers as he can and smoke a few cigarettes before he makes his way to these gatherings so I'm so out of it I don't even notice those people crying out the door. Of course I come froma radically conservative background, so I tend to flee the whole scene altogether because I'm sick of being told beer is satanic, you know? :D
Joe, merry Christmas to you as well! I am not as grumpy all the time, but this season brings out the worst in me.
I have to confess I am not that bothered about Christmas, firstly because I recognise it as primarily a Pagan festival that was hijacked, and secondly because my late Husband died on Nov 23rd 2001, and was cremated on my Birthday December 4th, which kind of ruined Christmas for me afterwards.
Are you really that cynical?
Misty, that's rough. I agree that heart ache / trauma can ruin your holiday.
Fish...I think I am on some days ;)
Woo Hoo on the cynicism, t keeley! I just came from the worst-@ss dumb cheerleading corporate 'training session,' ever and all that false cheer makes me so want to wretch that I searched out a negative hub on hubpages just to spew on.
Thanks for saying what I (oh, please God--tell me there are sane people here) hope most people think inside, even if they are playing the game of Christmas, religion, careless consumption or cheerleading, or corporate childish stupid (not to be confused with personal and intelligent) 'positive thinking.'
I'm with you T keeley, what I can't handle is those family members who suddenly remember I'm alive and ask how I'm doing, I say they can keep the phoney baloney. And is it my opinion or what that people seem way more stressed and snippier than usual at this time of year?
Thanks T. I am better thesedays, but it is still not the same as when I was a kid and it was all so magical, plus I cancelled Christmas the year my Hubby died, so now it kind of feels wrong to make too bigger deal out of it. It is simply way too commercialised now, and more about the shops making money than it is about loving family and friends. Plus the pressure to spend more and more on presents is very hard on most of us who cannot afford to do so.
Personally it is up to a person whether they want to be religious or commercial over the holiday season. I refuse to let any negativity drag down my happiness, no matter what time of the year it is. Many married people and couples start acting condescending to me during the holidays and ask what I am going to do and where am I going to stay, as if my life has less meaning because I am a single person.
However, I also know that anyone who pretends their relationship is 100% perfect during the holidays is playing farce. Family get togethers can be strained and crazy, but celebrating Christmas does not have to have a religious aspect personally. I love the color and craftiness of making your own crafts and decorating. Halloween is definitely not a religious holiday, but people still tend to celebrate it with flair and pizzazz.
Being happy and positive as much as you can in this lifetime helps us to appreciate what we truly have. For example, I may not agree with all of the commercialization of a holiday, but that does not mean I cannot decorate or enjoy myself. Being happy is the greatest gift I can give myself and I will smile and always be happy, and anyone who tells me to stop smiling is a jerk :).
It is always best to do what is best for our situation and ignore the rest. There are things that annoy me for sure, but maybe just focusing on your own things and not what others are doing around you that bothers you will bring more true happiness. Just a suggestion.
SweetiePie- Since even I stay alone I have been asked how I am going to celebrate thanks giving and I said I had no plans then they invited me. Some times it may also mean that they are concerned about us and wish for us also to have a close family feeling (if we are away from our parents) during the holidays. I don't know since even I am single whether I should look at such invitations with doubts about their intentions.
I feel no matter what anybody thinks anything about us its totally up to us how we feel. Some people may feel jealous about seeing single woman(my cousin since she is married tells me about her domestic responsibilities and tells me to enjoy for as long as possible) and some others may feel sympathy for us. But again no matter what they think about us nothing is going to change for us.
Yes nobody has the right to tell you not to be happy. You should always smile and be happy inside. And write those wonderful hubs for us all to learn and enjoy. And you surely will always be for me sweetie pie. I wish you lots of happiness during these holidays.
CW & Sweetie Pie-I've been both single and with a 'partner' during the holidays, and can firmly tell you there is good and bad in both ways of being. And I actually don't really understand why anyone would feel single people these days "are alone." Even when single, ie, I have many friends and my family and I think most people recognize that togetherness is made up of many types of relationships.
It must be about false expectations-- What I actually think that t. keeley is addressing in this hub. I think at the root of false expectations could be good intentions--or then again, it could just be easy answers for what others want to avoid for themselves.
I was also thinking about this today-- All marketing campaigns, and corporations I've noticed, etc. want people to 'don't worry, be happy,' ALL the time. But I think there is a place for the so-called negative emotions--there obviously must be, because we have them. I was also thinking that melancholy, probably to 'most' (whoever they are), is viewed as a negative emotion to be avoided, but it is one that I like--as a lot of thought and creativity springs from that kind of state.
I think letting yourself be yourself and feel your emotions is authentic and probably the healthiest for everyone, as long as you take responsibility for them.
Hi TK - some advice from an old 'un - 'tis a season of love - so don't get together because you 'have to' - do it only because you 'want to'. There's so much hype about what we should be doing as families that we forget the central message of being in that love while we constantly strive to get to some unreal expectation of perfect get together time.
Be in a place where you can feel that love - and stop bothering about what everyone else does or expects. Oh - and have some more beer :)
Lita- I had got a marriage proposal when I was 21 and then at that time decided to come to US for MS. And recently when I went to India that aunt commented that guy and the girl (whom he married have 2 kids) and he is doing so well.... and how are my marriage plans and all (yes in those circumstances one does feel bad but one has to bottle up certain feelings and only project happy feelings outside or be quiet when not in the best of moods rather than say something which I may regret later).
I do maintain a diary and write those feelings but those "melancholy" feelings are just for myself.
Yes you are right we are always responsible for every word or deed we ever say or act whether in a good or bad mood hence have to be careful as far as possible.
I have to disagree Lita about most people recognizing that togetherness is made up of many different kinds of relationships. My thoughts and feelings are always authentic, so if someone thinks I am more alone than they just because I am single, it becomes their problem and not mine. However, I usually have deep understanding of what people are trying to convey, and I know I was right on the money several times when people were trying to make me feel inferior just because I am single. It is not even a holiday thing, some of my friends have had to stress their coupledom when referring to their likes and dislikes. One friend even had to say "We like Shrek" when I confessed I could not stand that movie. I always prefer to say I because it is more authentic.
Wow thanks for all the comments...sorry been at work helping the selfish people get their fill of money-spending so we can plunge deeper into a credit crisis!!!
All that aside, I truly appreciate the replies I've gotten on here. There is waaaay too much for me to reply to independently right now, but know your comments have been read!
CW-(And I apologize if this is too much conversation on t.keeley's hub.) I would still say--from my point of view--that you are lucky, actually, and possessed of a strong character to have decided to do what you want to do in life.
21 is very young to be married, at least here among your peer group in the U.S. There is a lot of time for you--I honestly believe it is good for people to be independent and single for a time.
And! Mothers! My sister who is in her 30's and single gets that sort of thing from my mother, too. And my sister who is married with two kids also gets ALL the attention at holidays, etc.... It isn't 'fair,' but I am not overly concerned--I think my mother just wants what she had in life (her happiness) for her daughters... But of course, if you are not entirely traditional, it isn't the same thing.
Yes--writing is always a good outlet and where, when melancholy, I produce some of my best stuff.
Sweetie Pie-You are right--what you described is their problem. They are insecure--those that cannot say 'I' but always 'we.' Let me restate that many caring and intelligent people know that there are many different kinds of togetherness.
And I was just really musing about authenticity concerning my own experience today--among all the corporate false cheer...
Lita- We are from a traditional background but my dad has a modern outlook(in fact he is the rock behind the decisions I am allowed to take). You are right some of my best poems were written during times when I felt those "melancholy" feelings. Even I hope we are not over staying our welcome in this hub....hehe
Lita,
Your job sounds really stressful around this time of year. It may not be my place to suggest this, but I have never worked in retail and I think I would go buggy having to pretend to be that cherry around the holidays. Maybe after the holiday season you can find something outside of retail. I work for at a library and I love this environment.
Sweetie Pie-:) Oh, no! More conversation...hope it is OK with the hub owner!
Actually, I justed started a new position in marketing at a corporation--it is creative copywriting, which I will be fine with, but they always have these training/orientation seminars when you first start that are from h*ll. Dumbest things you ever saw--we actually used big crayons and put together legos today (supposed to be 'teambuilding'). I thought I was gonna die--it was supposed to be 'so fun.'....... And they pay people to give these soooo beneficial classes?
Some things you just gotta grin and bear if you want the promised salary, I guess. But I hope--NEVER again while I'm employed here...
I have many friends who work for libraries & if you like books, reading and writing, they must be excellent environments. Both these friends of mine have worked there for years and are happy, yeah.
Believe it or not I kind of enjoyed retail at the holidays when I worked at the bookstore. What a great show! You can't buy this kind of entertainment, seriously.
I guess I'm sicker than I thought.
Now I have to write a hub and tell my true story about the Beanie Babie Christmas Riot. That'll put the Spirit of Christmas into your crabby butts! lol!
First I gotta go put magazines up this morning though. Christmas magazine. (o:
I truly echo your sentiments about Christmas. It is not my favourite time of the year, and the fact that decorations go up the day after Halloween in stores drives me up the wall. It is a time for spending, over indulgence and hanging out with family stuffing your face until your pants pop open. Generally I torture myself by trying to get all of my shopping done the week before Christmas and if I didn't have children, I would probably boycott Christmas. BAH HUMBUG is my freakin motto!!! Christmas Spirit - yes, it is available in many varieties at the liquor store! Dane
Pam you are sick :P How DARE you ever inflict anti-Christmas sentiment on anyone!?
Mcstir, thanks for joining us on the bah humbug side!!
Conversation should be perfectly fine on hubs. tKeeley seems okay with it. Nothing wrong with convo on a hub.
Conversation is good folks. I promote the spirit of Ebenezar Scrooge wholeheartedly this year. Any venting, whether it's under the banner of pissy - ness or under the flag of hatred for christmas sales, it works for me!
Just had to go to Walmart and that place is a zoo. I needed some freezable containers for all the pears I picked last weekend, or else I would not have gone in that crazy place this time of year. Yesterday a couple of customers started fighting with a clerk at Mervyns about who was next in line, and my sister whished she had not got in that line. It is this time of year.
TK- How is your radio gig coming along? Thanks for the open invitation and glad that I wasn't considered a "Gatecrasher"
I canceled the radio blog because it cost me too many cell phone minutes. I'm entertaining ideas about podcasting. If anyone care to join me on that edevour please let me know. Seems like something up Pam's alley.
SweetiePie says:
13 months ago
Well I spent a few years in the Jehovah's Witness religion as a child where I was not allowed to celebrate Christmas. Puritan Christians who settled in the US did not celebrate Christmas, which is where the JW got this idea. I do not like the commercialism of the season, but I enjoy making decorations and having a tree. I like small family get togethers with my immediate family, but I never really attended those large family get togethers most people have. Sometimes it does hurt around the holidays when co-workers snub me by giving each other gifts and inviting each other to parties, but they do not see me as their friend so in the end I am not overly upset.
I exchange cards with my friends and family and that is all I need to know. I do a few holiday things, but I never feel the pressure to over splurge or over spend. One thing that bothers me around the holidays is people suddenly start thinking about the less needy, and that should be a year around thing.