MamboKing  says:
4 months ago

How to lead for the Guys and How to follow for the Girls

Recently one of my newer students asked me how to lead someone to do the steps he is learning. Then his partner asked the logical next question, how do you know how to follow. So, here is what I believe is the nature of leading and following.

Let’s start if a few concepts to keep in mind when you think about dancing. First, dancing is a great non-verbal method of communication. It’s you and your partner expressing how you feel in the moment. In fact you could say that dancing only exist in the moment while the music is playing and you and your partner are in motion. Everything else about dancing is technique and tools. Think of it like a painter’s palette, the more you know the more colors on your palette that you can use to express your feelings.

Like all communication methods, dancing requires a feedback loop, a purpose, and a way to clearly express what you are trying to communicate. In dancing we add the idea of roles, the man, the woman, and the character of the dance.

An additional concept to keep in mind is that leading/following require “Trust and Confidence”. The man needs confidence to execute the dance steps he wants to do and the woman needs trust in the man in order to follow what the man offers for dance steps. Also, keep in mind that leading and following switch back and forth between the man and the woman.

So let’s follow a dance step: the dance is Fox Trot, the man is coming to a place on the dance floor where he wants to change direction and follow a different line of dance around some people blocking his path, additionally the music makes him think about swiping the woman off her feet so he wants to build momentum. The woman has been enjoying the graceful movement across the floor and she is confident in her partner.

• The man decides to use a twinkle to accomplish his goal.

• He see where he wants to go.

• He knows what he would like to do after the twinkle.

• He moves his body through the twinkle to build momentum in his partner and to change direction.

• She feels her partner’s body rotate and move into the twinkle.

• She puts her trust into her partners movement waiting for him to decide how far she should move and when she should place her weight down.

• She lets go of thinking about dancing and she experiences dancing for the joy it can be.

• She knows her partner will be a solid frame for the picture her movement will paint.

How did this happen, confidence comes from knowledge. The man needs to know the techniques, the footwork, the body movement, and what the woman expects. Over time the man learns how doing it right feels and he knows that this feeling is in his muscles like a muscular memory. The more he dances the more confident he gets.

The woman learns what is possible and what she can do to express how she feels. She learns that even though in the beginning she had to think and remember the steps and techniques, that to dance them to get the most enjoyment, she has to let go of thought and embrace the moment. She has to trust her partner and herself. This too comes from practice and experience on the floor.

In future posts I want to expand on this topic while addressing the story you tell when you dance.