Fellow Americans, I stand before you tonight, truly awed by your enthusiastic reception and your willingness to stand and be counted. As I travel around this great country I see folks like you everywhere, every day Americans who are tired of the old ways of Washington, who can no longer accept the lack of accountability and transparency in our elected officials. To you, my fellow Americans, I ask these important questions. Are you tired of Washington and it's cadre of insiders and horse traders? Are you ready to regain the respect of world that is tired of a cowboy America? Are you ready to climb out of the failed economic policies of the Bushanomics? Are you ready to make the American dream accessible to all?

From the rugged rocks of Maine, to the sturdy hills of Appalachia, from the streets of our greats cities to the farm lands of Iowa, from the Bayou of Louisiana to the waters of San Francisco Bay, the winds of change are a blowing. Stand with me America, as we sail on to Washington, buffeted by the strong winds of a different brand of politics. A brand of politics that unites, rather than tears apart... a brand of politics that works for the people, not against them. ..a brand of politics that accepts all Americans, even if they eat a different flavor of ice cream.

I know what you are thinking. How can a country of intolerance accept a man like myself. I am, by my own admission, the proud product of different kind of union. My mother, bless her soul, loved Vanilla ice cream. I personally do not favor Vanilla ice cream, but you know, that's okay, because in this country it really shouldn't matter what flavor you favor. My father, not able to afford Haagen-Dazs, was relegated to his favorite brand of discount Chocolate ice cream. Growing up in such a household made me aware of the tension that exist when Vanilla ice cream and Chocolate ice cream co-exist, that's why I favor Heavenly Hash.

It has come to my attention that one of my mentors, the famous curator of the Double Chocolate Thunder Mini Mart in Chicago, has made some controversial statements concerning America's past practice of allowing Chocolate ice cream to be the stacked in the back of the freezer. I unequivocally state that I do not condone these statements. Regardless of past practice, we cannot be immobilized by past failures or conditions. We are all ice cream enthusiasts in the country and we need to move past our differences and accept the panorama of ice cream flavors in this country offers.

When I become President you can be assured that the White House freezer will be filled with an array of different ice cream flavors. Each person who works in my regime will favor a different type of flavor. I will not rest till the White House reflects that ice cream eating habits of this great nation.

As I conclude this speech, I want to take an opportunity to thank my opponent Hillary Clinton. She ran a tough and persistent campaign, one that she can be proud of. As you know, most of my supporters favor Chocolate ice cream or any flavor of Haagen-Dazs. Mrs. Clinton, on the other hand, garnered strong support from those good hard working people who can only afford the discount store brand of Vanilla ice cream. Let me say it clearly and loudly that Barack Obama is a friend to all ice cream eaters. That's why my first order of business, after the convention, will be to take a trip to the foot hills of West Virginia and have a big heaping bowl full of Shop Rite Vanilla ice cream.

Be confident, my fellow Americans, that a new day is dawning, a day when we can all go to the ice cream parlor and order what we please, without recrimination or judgment. Stand with me America as we take our cause to Washington and break through the politics of fear and grid lock. Have faith, for with your help we can take back America.