Barack Obama's Presidency, Ten Predictions
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As I look into my crystal ball, I am fully convinced that in the next four years Barack Obama will lead us out of this economic crises, eradicate poverty, broker a lasting peace in the Middle East, vanquish Al Qaeda, dismantle organized lobbying, and restore prosperity to the good people of this land. Listed below are ten predictions for 2009, things that the Obama Presidency will initiate, implement and achieve.
A New Look for the White House
#1 - Restore Cultural Sensitivity
Obama will institute a new dress code for all White House employees, a dress code that reflects his love of all things multi cultural. We are not sure what this will look like, but judging from past dalliances into the world of fashion, this is our prediction.
No word to this point as to whether his cabinet will have to adhere to the new dress code.
No Problem, Hillary's Wardrobe is Set for New White House Dress Code
#2 - Barack will Embrace the Anti-Christ Label
Look, when the Devil is in the details, it's not a bad thing to be the Anit-Christ.
Kim Jong-il Gets Down With It
#3- Play One v. One Basketball to Settle All Disputes
Aides for Obama are almost giddy with the potential of a "Hoopster" residing in the White House. On the campaign trail Barack was well known for his prowess on the basketball court. In our view this can only mean one thing, a showdown with Kim Jong-il. The North Korean dictator, well known for his vertical...hair...is a prime candidate to face Barack in a nationally televised one v. one basketball game. If Barack wins (and don't for a second think that this is a certainty - just check out the video Kim's dexterity on the dance floor), North Korea must dismantle their nuclear program and Kim Jong-il will be required to take Britney Spears back to North Korea...for ever. If Kim Jong-il wins, then North Korea gets all of our nukes and Barack appoints Britney Spears as Secretary of State.
Remodelled Airforce One Going Through Final Test Flight
#4 - Airforce One Grounded
In these troubled economic times Barack will move quickly to cut expenditures in his travel budget. It's okay for car executives and Nancy Pelosi to gallivant around the world in private jets, but not Obama. He will pledge to keep it basic and light. Airforce One will be renamed Airforce .00034 and will undergo significant reductions in size and convenience.
Frank Caliendo, "The King of Impersonations"
#5 - Barack Will Appoint Frank Caliendo to New Post "Director of Prank Calls"
Barack, known for a few prank calls of his own, is sure to employ America's most talented impersonator to work the phone lines. Watching Sarah Palin get pranked was not only funny but politically effective. With Caliendo working the phone lines, Barack will be able to score countless political points.
Obama's Signature On Kyoto Accord
#6 - Obama will Sign Kyoto Protocol
Obama, having learned a thing or two from his pals at ACORN, will sign the Kyoto Protocol (Accord).
Assuming all goes well we expect the President to sign the Protocol sometime within the next four years.
The Birth Certificate Challenge on YouTube
#7 - Barack Obama will Produce Birth Certificate to Collect Money From YouTube Challenge
In an effort to secure one million dollars for charity, Barack Obama will release his birth certificate.
Bin Laden Recording New Album
#8 - Barack Obama will Pull The Troops Out of Iraq...and Send them all to Afghanistan....then to Pakistan...then to....
In an effort to corner Bin Laden Barack Obama will transfer all troops from Iraq into Afghanistan and then from Afghanistan into Pakistan. When the troops finally get home, it will be revealed that Bin Laden has been living in the basement of a Pizza Parlor in Queens NY recording music for an Indie label. At that point Obama will drop a nuke on the Pizza Parlor and call it a day.
McCain Sharpening His Comedy Routine
#9 - Barack Obama Will Invite John McCain to the White House
In an effort to be bipartisan, Barack Obama will invite John McCain to the White House to do a comedy routine. As a result of McCain's comical November performance in the general election, Obama will feel it necessary to finally give McCain his White House moment.
#10 - Obama Will Cut Taxes
Every list of predictions needs at least one fabrication.
Further Political Writing From Sschilke
Congressional Playbook, Advice For Your Congressman or Congresswoman
Blago, Bill Clinton and Barack Take Exam to Get Into Heaven
Politically Incorrect No Arm, No Legs Jokes and Fourth Graders
Barack Obama, A New Strategy For the Middle East
Barack Obama and the Politics of Ice Cream
How to Get Your Piece of the 700 Billion Dollar Bailout, Jobs For All
Sarah Palin's Interview with Charlie Gibson, What I Heard
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Comments
FourX2,
Glad you enjoyed it.
sschilke
If this all fail simply move across the border into the northern land. Thing are much better up here. We simply cant agree on a PM but the living conditions are much sweeter.
Love Canada
Wickedly funny! How did you know I needed a good laugh?? Keep up the good work.
Across the border,
I thought the president of the United States was the leader of Canada:)
Sigh of relief,
It's fun to be wicked sometimes :) Thanks for your feedback.
sschilke
Enjoyed this hub....Very funny..
This made my morning.
moonlake,
Glad you enjoyed it.
Ray Saunders,
It's a good thing to laugh in the morning. I'm glad the hub helped.
sschilke
Very funny but some of your predictions might prove to be true. Excellent hub keep writing stuff like this.
Mr. Nice,
I would love to see Kim Jong-il bring his "game" state side. That would be some world class entertainment.
sschilke
Haha, this made me laugh to myself lol. Check out my hub on Obama, and let me know what you think...
And yet, he won and many of us are still happy he did. I know the Christian right is eating sour grapes for breakfast daily but that won't bring back the gold old days. Guess what? Other people live in the U.S. too, and we all came out to vote this time. Get over it.
pgrundy,
Sour grapes keep the senses sharp, besides Bush was great for a laugh or two, three, four, five...okay maybe too many to count... but I assume Barack will add his fair share of laughable moments to a long list of presidential gaffs.
Thanks for dropping by,
sschilke
I believe pgrundys definition of "we all" are people with very low IQs
Tricia - my I.Q (if one believes such is a true measure of intelligence) is 133 and I voted for Obama. As an Independent I really didn't have any choice seeing as how John McCain got the Republican nod and I don't lke throwing my vote away on never-win 3rd party candidates.
to the sour-grapes crowd, remember that we loved Bush as much as you love Obama. what goes around comes around, so I expect the Democrats may be eating sour grapes in a few years.
Sccilke - a very humorous hub! Great satire, parody, etc.
Cheers!
Chef Jeff T.
Obama didn't win or McCain has not lost the election. Here is my personal theory about this election. The truth is Republican lost & Democrats won. People wanted change if McCain was a Democrat candidate he was going to win, on the other hand if Obama was a Republican he was going to loose. Election is all about part platform & their policies. Although not many black people vote in election all the time but the one’s who do vote majority of them always vote for Democrats. In this election more black people voted than in any election in the past. I agree with chef Jeff that he has no choice but just to vote for Democrats.
Here is a paragraph from Docuticker website. Visit the link for further details.
According to study, African-Americans cast nearly three million more ballots nationwide in 2008 than in 2004—an increase of 21 percent. The total votes cast by Latinos went up by sixteen percent—more than 1.5 million—and young Americans aged 18-29 cast 1.8 million more votes, a nine percent increase. That the overall number of ballots cast did not increase significantly compared to 2004 was in part due to a decrease in voting by white voters.
kimclement.com has something to say about obama thats hopefully true. check it out!!
lol! Excellent hub! I cant stop laughing, the best funny hub I have ever read...lol
Tricia, your comment reflects your own lack of intelligence. You make your own point.
Are you seriously trying to sell us the point that the smart ones voted for McCain/Palin? Oh yeah, now there's a smart couple.
I tried really hard not to insult other voters during all my hubs on my views, everyone's entitled to be stupid occasionally. (teasing, sorta)
Voting rights don't necessarily equate with smarts, for any of us.
However, it's so blatantly obvious that Obama has got his ducks (not turkeys) in a row that even his enemies are getting nervous. Success for America? A smart President? Calm decisiveness? Now Why didn't the Republicans think of that?
I question those who think Palin is smart, and McCain rational. He's much better on the late night shows, because he obviously can't handle stress.
Anyway, I appreciate political satire, so I got a chuckle out of this, I hope we all work hard to put our country back together, regardless of party affiliate, or IQ wars. =))
I hope Palin runs in 2012 so we Dem's can cream her corn again!!
LOL Frank Caliendo good one, and I think #9's a great idea the Alfred E. Smith Charity Dinner was hilarious. If they were smart they would make that visit to The White House a Pay Per View event.
What's news,
I agree, it was McCain's one and only shining moment in the campaign.
dano,
I don't think you will get the chance.
Marisue writes,
I wish Obama all the best, but I'm not sure anything in politics brings the best out of anyone. Obama will have his hands full in the next four years. We will see how he does.
Thanks for your passionate response.
Relica,
Politics makes me laugh too.
littleknivel,
I will check it out.
eovery,
Thanks for dropping by, hope to see you again.
Mr. Nice,
Obama certainly did bring in more people to the election process. It just may have assured his election.
Chef Jeff,
What comes around goes around, great observations.
Tricia,
I think we should check the politicians IQ's not the voters.
Thankyou all for dropping by, sorry for my delay in responding.
sschilke
Interesting and I believe that he will get us through the mess that George Bush got us into. I detect teh sarcasm but that is o.k. as everyone is entitled to their opinions.
This hub is uproarously funny.
AEvans,
When it come to politicians, I am an equal opportunity sarcasm monster:) Thanks for dropping by.
Nickny79,
Thanks for dropping by, glad it made you chuckle.
sschilke
I do agree with this.. You keep rocking... Thanks for the excellent Hub!... keep going on with the good process....This hubpage is very useful and filled with lots of interesting links stuffz...
If he can do half of these things we'll have a grand year, indeed. That's some big-ass CHANGE and I for one believe in it. Go-bama!
hey mate you forgot the one about making Australia the 350th State or was that 351st?
Thanks for the HUMOR :D
ha, ha, 'hillary's wardrobe' some thing wonderful imagination. but she is more beautiful in this attire.
sukkran.
sukkran,
I agree, Hillary should ditch the pant suits.
JazLive,
Thanks for dropping by.
Agvuples,
Don't worry Australia will be right behind Canada.
Mighty Mom,
Barack is all about change. Nothing less than all of the above will satisfy me.
sschilke
agvuples & sschilke don't worry Australia or Canada will not become 51st & 52nd state because America never colonized any country & don't need to do so too. American imperialism is totally different than European. America Americanized the whole world with it's mega economy. America propagated economic through it's multi-national corporations , social, cultural and political ideology to a huge population of this world. Much more can be written on this subject but not in the comments, may be a new hub.
Happy holidays to everyone. Peace & love for all
Hilarious! Great hub.
Mr. Nice,
I am not worried about Canada or Australia becoming the 51st or 52nd state... they already are:)
Newcapo,
Glad you enjoyed it.
sschilke
cut taxes really
sschilke, Thanks for your feedback. I enjoy all your hubs they are unique. Thanks for sharing your ideas with everyone. It's not only Australia or Canada the whole world is Americanized the way I explained in my previous comments.
Hi, Lgali! How are you ? Taxes in USA is the lowest in the whole world. I guess you are talking about Canadian taxes right ?
Merry Christmas & happy new year to everyone.
no wonder your hubs are so popular. This put a lovely smile on my face, especially the comedy act. Happy New Year, Debby
sschilke ! There was a change in the American history in this election, 3 million more black people voted. I guess they just liked Obama it was not racism I mean black & white thing. At the same time less white people voted too, again it was not white & black thing. I guess they just didn't like McCain. This is what I think may be some one else has better views.
Merry Christmas & happy new year to everyone.
Mr. Nice,
I'm not sure about the numbers, but obviously Barack brought more voters to the polls than expected. He was a fresh face arriving in a time when most people seemed to be tired of the past regime (Bush). McCain simply couldn't compete financially or in the arena of charisma.
Debby Bruck,
Thanks for your kind words.
sschilke
Another Obama 2009 Top 10 list here:
couldnt agree with you more, lol. that was truly great : )
My prediction is that the one on one basketball showdown between Obama and Kim will get more viewers than the super bowl!
:)
roasted pine bark,
Thanks for dropping by and your kind words.
sandra rink,
I agree. I would pay cold hard cash to see Obama dunk on Kim's fuzzy little head.
sschilke
He is now our president and stating such ignorant remarks as these will do nothing but bring our president down for the next four years which in turn will bring down our country.... Stop hating and imbrace change.
........And you people think McCain would be better.....hahahahahhaa
sschilke's ignorant says,
As always, whether good or bad, thanks for dropping by. I wonder If you said the same things to people writing satire about Bush? Relax my friend, there is nothing sschilke can say that will change Obama's course, good or bad.
Thanks once again for your comments,
sschillke
Thanks, needed a laugh tonight.
You are a stupid, stupid person. And you have no excuse. 2016 doesn't look very good for you fools either.
Good laugh- #7, and #10- won't happen sorry to be a dream crusher. lol
Nebraska66 has ingested so much of the Kool aid his head is stuck in an awkward position!
BTW Nebraska, do y'all still have a football team?
sschillke
Not my kind of humor, I don't care for it when Lettermen does it.
Just a matter of choice, nothing personal.
I could care less about any president based on their personality or what they say. At 55 years old, to me its what they do. How many of you lived through the Carter years? I'm guessing not too many. The concept of government 'leveling' the playing field doesn't work and has never worked in any country in the world its been tried if people put their emotions in check at look at facts. Look at Obama's plan to save us logically, not as a democrat, republican, liberal, conservative, whatever:
What’s wrong with the Obama's and other's view on taxes? What’s wrong with their constant vow to tax the ‘rich’? What’s inherently wrong with their proclaimed intent to ‘level’ the playing field? Here’s a simple, logical example that any open minded individual can understand explaining the fallacy behind ‘taxing the rich’.
Suppose that every day, ten men go out to eat. The bill for all ten is $100. If they paid their bill the way we currently pay our taxes, it would go something like this:
The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth man would pay $1.
The sixth man would pay $3.
The seventh man would pay $7.
The eighth man would pay $12.
The ninth man would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.
This seems like a good plan so it’s what they decide to do. The ten men eat at the same place every day and are quite happy with the arrangement until one day, the owner throws them a curve. “Since you are all such good customers I’m going to reduce the cost of your meal by $20.” The meal for the ten men is now only $80. The group still wants to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men are unaffected by the change. They will still eat for free. But what about the other six men – the paying customers? How could they divide up the savings so that everyone would get their ‘fair share’?
They realize that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But, if they subtract that from everybody’s share, then the fifth and the sixth man would each end up being paid to eat as they were only paying $1, and $3. So, the owner suggests that it would be fair to reduce each man’s bill by roughly the same amount or a percentage of the savings which he proceeds to do and it works out like this:
The first four men (the poorest) again pay nothing.
The fifth man now pays nothing (100% savings).
The sixth man now pays $2 instead of $3 (33% savings).
The seventh man now pays $5 instead of $7 (28% savings).
The eighth man now pays $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth man now pays $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
The tenth man now pays $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).
The first four still eat for free and the remaining six are better off than they were before. But, once they leave the restaurant the men begin to compare their savings. “Hey, I only got $1 out the $20 discount” declares the sixth man. He points to the tenth man and says “but he got $10!”. “Yeah, that’s right,” exclaims the fifth man. “I only got $1 too. It’s unfair that he got ten times more than I did.” “That’s true!!” shouted the seventh man. “Why should he get $10 back when I only got $2? The wealthy always get all the breaks!” “Wait a minute,” yelled the first four men, “We didn’t get anything. The system always exploits the poor!”
So, the nine men surround the tenth man and beat him up. The next day the tenth man doesn’t show up to eat, so the nine men sit down and have a big meal without him. However, when it came time to pay the $80 bill, guess what? The nine men discovered something very important. Without the tenth man (the richest) they don’t have enough money to pay even half the bill. And, that, boys and girls, is how tax system works. In spite of the Obama and liberal mantra of ‘tax the rich, tax the rich’, the people who pay the highest taxes logically get the most benefit from any tax reduction. Those that pay nothing or very little receive little or no benefit. Common sense! Tax the ‘rich’ too much, attack them for being wealthy, accuse them too much and they may not show up to play the stupid game anymore. In fact, they may just starting eating in a restaurant overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier. Makes sense to me!
FoursX2 says:
14 months ago
We're still laughing!