This hub is a series of 'quote hubs' by me, which was started after I embarked on compiling a selection of the funniest Soccer quotes. I enjoyed doing it, so followed this up with funny quotes from Tennis, Golf, Baseball, I have also done a page entitled '25 Inspirational Basketball Quotes' and now bring you these 25 very Funny Basketball Quotes.

 

1. "Some things you just can't question. Like you can't question why two plus two is four. So don't question it, don't try to look it up. I don't know who made it, all I know is it was put in my head that two plus two is four. So certain things happen. Why does it rain? Why am I so sexy? I don't know." - Shaq O'Neal

2. "In basketball, the first person to touch the ball shoots it. Either that or the coach carefully diagrams a set play and then the first player to touch it shoots it." - Gene Klein

3. "I knew I was dog meat. Luckily, I'm the high-priced dog meat that everybody wants. I'm the good-quality dog meat. I'm the Alpo of the NBA." - Shaq O'Neal

4. "Left hand, right hand, it doesn't matter. I'm amphibious." -Charles Shackleford

5. "They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they'd make up their minds." - Wilt Chamberlain

6. "They shot the ball well early. What comes out of the microwave hot doesn't always stay hot. I know, because I eat bagels in the morning." - Shaq O'Neal

7. "I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok." - Shaq O'Neal

8. "Kids are great. That's one of the best things about our business, all the kids you get to meet. It's a shame they have to grow up to be regular people and come to the games and call you names." - Charles Barkley

9. "We have a great bunch of outside shooters. Unfortunately, all our games are played indoors." - Weldon Drew

10."My sister's expecting a baby,and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." - Chuck Nevitt

11. "I hate them with all the hate you can hate with. Can you hate more than that? If you can, I hate them more than that." - Tim Hardaway

12. "Fans never fall asleep at our games, because they're afraid they might get hit by a pass." - George Raveling

13. "The only way I can make five As is when I sign my name." - Alaa Adbehuby

 

 

14. "We're shooting 100 percent - 60 percent from the field and 40 percent from the free-throw line." - Norm Stewart

15. "The game is too long, the season is too long and the players are too long." - Jack Dolph

16. "Basketball is like war in that offensive weapons are developed first, and it always takes a while for the defense to catch up". - Red Auerbech

17. "I haven’t been able to slam-dunk the basketball for the past five years. Or, for the thirty-eight years before that, either." - Dave Barry

18. "If the NBA were on channel 5 and a bunch of frogs making love were on channel 4, I'd watch the frogs, even if they were coming in fuzzy" - Bobby Knight

19. "The invention of basketball was not an accident. It was developed to meet a need. Those boys simply would not play Drop the Handkerchief." - James Naismith

20. "I put a lot into it, and when I am done playing, I plan on going undercover and then being the sheriff or chief of police somewhere, either Miami or Orlando, I don't know yet." - Shaq O'Neal

21. "The only difference between a good shot and a bad shot is if it goes in or not." - Charles Barkley

22. "I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to." - Shaq O'Neal

23. "David Stern should get with the mothers of the NBA and let the moms decide what the dress code should be. I asked my mother if I could wear a chain, and she told me yeah. So I do stuff that my parents allow me to do." - Shaq O'Neal

24. "Winning is like deodorant - it comes up and a lot of things don't stink." - Doc Rivers

25. "This is the second most exciting indoor sport, and the other one shouldn't have spectators." - Dick Vertlieb