How To Find True Love

What others say about you and how they act towards you is more about them than it is about you.

This line is a standard phrase I say to people that I coach who are struggling with how they are perceived by others. It is standard not because it is just what I should say, but because I believe it with my whole heart.

And, I know practicing it isn't always the easiest thing to do especially when you get caught up in one life's little dramas.

In a New Earth, Eckhart Tolle says "Who you think you are is also intimately connected with how you see yourself treated by others."

How do those two statements relate to each other?

The underlying concept is the same. It is all about who we think we are. Tolle says that how you preceive yourself being treated by others window into about who you really think you are. When you feel yourself being left out, ignored, cheated, shamed, we are thinking that we are a needy 'little me' whose needs are not being met. I don't know about you, but I've visited in that place and it can, in my humble opinion, be called hell on earth.

How can you control your ego and not get hooked and react as that 'needy little me?'

Tolle goes one step beyond the acceptance and compassion. He proposes you return to them what you think they are withholding from you. If you think you should have received assistance from them, give them assistance. If you wanted honesty, be honest with them. If you wanted acceptance, accept them. If you wanted praise, praise them.

The Source of All Abundance is Not Outside of You!

My Granny was such an example of this. My grandfather was a coal miner. Poor? Very! Did my Granny ever have a lot of money? No! She was in her 50's when my grandfather died. She ironed, babysat and made doll cloths to pay for her 12'wide trailer.

But my Granny lived a fullness of life that I rarely see anymore. My Granny was a giver, a giver of a big heart. She has always been one of my hero's.

Tolle says "When you smile at a stranger, there is already a minute outflow of energy." You are letting the abundance within you flow out to others - you are giving. And, it's not costing you a penny.

Step 4 in The Total True Love system is "Be it in the world." The IT is who you are as your irresistible definition of true love. You are being yourself, your true self in the world. One of my favorite definitions of true love is popcorn - look at my picture. I'm throwing popcorn. Popcorn the world with your energy - smile at a stranger. Let the abundance of the true you out with your smile. That's what my Granny did. And, you know what she always seemed to have enough money. She wasn't rich, but she was happy.