Social anxiety can easily cause people to freeze and become stunned, not being able to think of anything to say, even in the simplest of social situations. You may have been in this situation before, even before walking into a conversation the physical and emotional effects of social anxiety begin to show: tension, uncertainty, distress, and discomfort.

As you walk into the conversation you may feel totally paralysed by the social anxiety. It's also not uncommon to walk out of the conversation feeling quite un-confident and wondering "why didn't I say that?" or "I should have said this..."

There is a big difference in the entire social dynamics present when you know that when you've finished a conversation you've said exactly what you wanted to say, and you heard what the other party(s) said. This can happen when you are in a relaxed and prepared state during a conversation. Your chances of panicking reduce. Many of these preparation and relaxation techniques can be done before even approaching someone to talk to them.

Do you have any of the following concerns?

1. Talking to a group of people?
2. Talking to members of the opposite sex?
3. Talking to someone that you've just met for the first time?

Much of the stress and uncertainty that comes with these situations can be addressedby using a number of techniques including:

• Visualisation -- go ahead and visualise what you are actually going to say before you say it.
• Relaxation -- when we get anxious our breathing speeds up and our bodies tense. If you become attentive enough you'll begin to notice when this first happens. Once you notice it, slowly bring your breathing down to a calm and deep-rhythm.
• Being prepared -- knowing what to say to begin a conversation, to navigate a conversation, and to end a conversation are all things that we can learn.

Preparation

One of my favorite e-books by Sean McPheat entitled "Learn how to make great conversation and small talk" outlines dozens of techniques that anyone can use to feel confident and to know exactly what they are going to say before they begin a conversation, so there is no need for uncertainty or anxiety at all.

By having to use techniques and lines to use in conversations you will feel more confident while talking to people, especially when the conversation takes an unexpected turn, or even when you feel bored talking about a specific topic that you'd like to navigate away from. Finally, you'll feel confident and assured when walking away after finishing a conversation that you have fully heard what the other(s) said while saying what you wanted to say without feeling nervous about saying it.