In the movies, there were always those magic words that saved the hero or heroine. "There's no place like home!" "Bada Bing, Bada Boom!" "Abracadabra!" Even "Woosah!" There's another word out there that's easy to say and makes more of a difference than these words we see frequently making a difference in your best fictional film. How about a simple "no?"

Too often we feel obligated, compelled by guilt, or forced to do things we don't want to do. More often times than not, these things that we feel guilted into, compelled, or obligated to do are often for others. How greatly would our lives differ if we were guilted into taking care of ourselves? What if we felt obligated to graduate from Graduate school? What if we felt compelled to invest our money wisely so that it always creates revenue for us? What if we felt guilted into keeping our nails manicured, eating healthy, exercising, and obtaining our dream job?

Ask yourself why is it that you feel guilted into giving Kathy a ride to the grocery store when your laundry is not done? Why is it you feel compelled to help James paint his apartment when the steps in your home are caving in? Why is it that you feel obligated to tutor your next door neighbor's child in biology, but you have yet to register for the last six credits of your undergraduate degree so that you can give up your job at T.J. Maxx?

When it's put bluntly on the table like that, it's almost laughable. When will we learn that "no" is not a taboo word created by a cult of satanic pork-eaters, who found their way to Earth from Hades! "No" is a beautiful word that will save your life and make you happier and yes healthier. "No, Kathy, I have to finish my laundry tonight so that I can be fresh and clean for work tomorrow. Hence, creating a happier and more rejuvenated me, more likely to attract more appealing responses from EARTH!" Sounds good, doesn't it? "James, I cannot help you paint your apartment, because then I would truly be neglecting myself, considering my stairs have been caving in and I have not taken the time to repair them. Before I take on your burdens and home improvement projects, I must conquer my own. No offense. Love ya kiddo!" Look at that! "No" is not beelzebub's curse word after all.

I am certain that after reading those two very different approaches to saying "no," you actually took a deep breath and thought about ways in which you can apply that magical, lovely, life altering word! If you do not learn to say "no" to others, including substances, temptations, and urges, then you will never be able to tell yourself "Yes!" Say no to drugs, obviously, to leeches, to fatty foods, to dependent folk who will drain you dry. Decide what is healthy for you and then say "yes" to a lifetime of healthy self-centeredness.

What does it mean to owe someone something? Can we actually owe anyone anything, besides money? Jack gave Jane a twenty dollar loan. Jane owes jack twenty dollars: factual information. Now Jack sees that Jane is having a hard time clearing out her garage. They have been great friends for years. Jack doesn't have a garage, but his bedroom looks like it was ramsacked by two opposing football teams. Think of a logical reason why Jack would leave his home to clear out Jane's garage. Again, quite laughable. Why can't we see the obvious without some sassy, sarcastic piece of journalistic fluff sticking its tongue out and saying "na na na na na na" in our face?

We know these things and yet we tend to be prisoners to these unhealthy obligations, compulsions, and guilts. Although the realization part is simple once you are slapped in the forehead with this article, the actual implementation of this life change is not so easy. Guilt is sneaky, strong, and relentless. You will inevitably face your hardest battle with guilt. People have grown so accustomed to your unconditional love, your soft-bake cookies, your willingness to lend a hand and that big "sucker" label on your head. If you go to my ebay store I am selling cans of "oh well." Buy one get one free! Because once you commit your self to saying oh well, it will be like putting kryptonite in superman's coffee. Get 'em! Say it once and it's easier to say it next time.

You don't have to say it aloud, as to hurt other's feelings, but say it internally so that you break down the resistance of guilt and are able to move on to productiveness. You will be surprised at what the release of guilt will do, as well as the release of unnecessary obligations and compulsions. Ever notice people with no responsibilities are always happy? It's logical to assume that dropping some of your responsibilities that aren't really your responsibilities and replacing them with positive, self-indulging activities and projects of productivity, will only make you happier and healthier.

You now have time for exercise, your favorite sitcoms, that well-deserved professional massage, grocery shopping, instead of buying hot dogs on Monday and the Ketchup on Tuesday. Saying "no" will rid you of the migraine, will rid you of the General Anxiety Disorder, will rid you of tension aches, will rid you of stress, heart palpitations, hair loss, and so much more!

Keep in mind, many people are good at asking for favors. Yet very few are even novice at being considerate when asking. This doesn't mean the world is full of jerks; it simply means that many are desensitized when it comes to what they need for themselves, the drive that they have for themselves, and what they think they are owed. The only thing that can be legitimately owed is money or of monetary value. Favors should never be owed, because then they would be loaned out!