Before I continue with my post adoption stories I would like to share some other memories with you. I did not feel as if I should go into too many details on my very first hub post, and I can currently not go back to sleep so I thought I might continue this and share some other details with you; pre-adoption details at least.

I am sure that everyone has some great Christmas memories. I have one great memory of that wonderful holiday from my pre-adoption years. The state of Tennessee would do this wonderful thing every Christmas where they would throw a HUGE Christmas party for all of the kids in the group homes. I never got invited to this, except for one year. I finally got an invitation, though I was not in a group home at that time. I was however, still going to the daycare the one I stayed at the most provided. I was in the one foster home, the one with the foster brothers and the massage mishap. I remember, for once. I could make the other brothers jealous. I got something they did not, it was usually opposite of that.

So, I get my invitation to the event of my dreams. I'm thrilled. I got all dressed up in this adorable red jumper, white tights, and little black mary jane type shoes, and managed to squeeze a cute red and white bow in my incredibly ugly, short hair that made me look like a boy. I arrive, and to my utter shock, my two older sibling whom I never see are actually there! Wow, that's unexpected. So, I'm just giddy with happiness at that point. Karen and Steven (my brother and sister) made up a game for us to play while we were there. We played Tickle Monster. This was the best game in the world...much better than playing Monopoly or Sorry all by my lonesome. We would chase each other around the entire room and try to catch each other, kind of like tag, but when we "tagged" eachother, we would tickle whomever it was we caught. We got so wrapped up in our little game that we weren't paying any attention to what was going on. We did not notice everyone else was opening presents they found under the tree with their names on them. I wasn't expecting anything anyways, so I didn't bother to look. I just loved our game. Well, we had apparantly caught the eye of Santa Claus. He made us stop playing, and I of course thought we were in trouble. But dear ol' Santa said that since we were the only kids actually seeming to enjoy ourselves, that he wanted to make sure that He had his picture taken with us. I actually got presents that year also! From my brother and sister, my brother had given me a locket and my sister gave me a bracelet. I kept them, and wore those for years to remember that day. I unfortunately do not have them anymore, there is a whole other story to that, though...that's for later. I honestly think that that was the only year I ever believed in Christmas.

The year after, I was invited again...so that Steven and Karen and I could see eachother again. They had promised me at the end they would be there. So I showed up again one year later, and they never showed up. I had no presents...no one noticed me. I literally hid, under the huge Christmas tree they had put up. It had started out thinking that maybe my sibling had sent something for me to make up for them not showing up. Gradually, when I realized they had not done so, I was so embarrassed that I just didn't leave from under the tree until just about everyone else had left.