Behaviours/Solitude

Solitude is a word that is rich in meaning, is empathetic and rolls off the tongue, almost melodious and mellifluous in sound bytes. However for such a beautiful sounding word the meaning can be quite harsh, solitude bears the scars of the hermit, the anti social, the remote individual residing amidst a busy group of people. Alone but not necessarily lonely, the solitary stand apart from society. The solitary favors no one with their company.

From the monk enjoying cloistered living to those living in aged care or indeed those enduring a life overshadowed by for example schizophrenia; living the life of the solitary takes on very different aspects. From a purely romantic point of view the monk or the recluse plunges fully into the cerebral life of the historian, the pray-er, the musician, the winemaker, exploring and enjoying the benefits of solitude to the fullest. No wife, no children, no noise, no repairs and maintenance, no having to earn money to pay feudal taxes, so basically other than a bit of self denial and flagellation - a life lived fully in self realization. This could conceivably be considered a life of solitude, lived fully and richly.

On the other hand the person who takes himself out of human contact through mental illness must suffer incredibly depriving themselves or being deprived of the company of others, while enduring inner voices competing for attention. I can feel that this person would desire solitude immensely - what relief when those insistent voices cease their whisperings to have quiet around you, enveloping you with a welcome albeit temporary, calmness. This life of solitude appears to have no choice associated with it.

Then there is the pain associated with the aging process - the older person (likely to be our elderly parents) who is unable to take care of themselves to the extent they once did. Today's older person who has quite likely been incredibly productive all their lives, been a part of a large family, gone into the work force in their teens e.g. nursing where again they would have a part of a large and disciplined group, followed by marriage and child bearing then, given the fact that the era I am discussing (today's aged) did not involve the use of the pill there were usually a number of children. So, going from being contributing busy people as their life cycle extends these same people become static, requiring care.

They soldier on, endeavoring to live their lives as always but fragility stalks their steps and eventually their worn out generous bodies succumb to bone tiredness, exhaustion and there is talk of them finding a nursing home that will give them an umbrella of care. Eventually they may find themselves in a ward of their peers where the sharpest mind finds itself hemmed into a solitary world; then illness in the form of senility, will diminish contact with those around them. This form of living would take on the hallmarks of the solitary, living a life of solitude within an environment of ones' peers and being forced to find solace within oneself.

I imagine that the thought of this type of solitude would be so hard to bear if one were of a frail nature. What if one was used to such a practical and busy life that the very action of having to give up one's independence caused immense anguish and pain? The unwanted solitude of the aged must be extremely hard. And to take it one step further what if in this solitude one craved a years' supply of books and then found one was destined for blindness!

This is our future if indeed we are lucky enough to attain the great ages of our somewhat healthier forbears. It behooves us all to care and protect our aged. Those who have gone before to pave our way; those who have loved us provided for us and helped us achieve. Respect is a wonderful, active word and when used by our generation towards previous generations will go further to protect and care for them, as indeed they deserve.

Solitude or living a solitary life presents a great many considerations, the word itself is rich in meaning but harsh in reality. Assumptions and presumptions can be made about the actualities of the solitary life but, until one is faced by the certainty of living in solitude rightly or wrongly, judgments cannot be made.

A salute to our aged and infirm and to all those who care for them!

copyright: a.a.gallagher 2008

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