Being Fat is not a Crime
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Is it a crime to be fat? Why is being fat seen as being unattractive?
There could be several reasons for being overweight:
1) Health Problems – E.g Underactive Thyroid, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, etc
2) Medicines - some medicines slow down the rate at which the body burns calories.
3) Genes – Research has found that some people’s genes make them more “metabolically efficient” than others. Also, if parents are big, sometimes the kids naturally inherit their genes and become big.
4) The birth of a baby. Its natural for a woman to put on weight during pregnancy. In most cases, she would lose the weight - gradually.
5) Over production of hormones.
6) Problems – going through a difficult time in life. (Using food as comfort).
A lot of fat people are looked at in a negative way. Examples:
- They are discriminated against. E.g In selecting people for Jobs. Also, they are not treated with respect unless they are absolutely loaded financially. (Funny how fat rich men become very attractive to people)
- Sometimes, they get “dirty” looks from people as if they came from another Planet.
- Kids – they get bullied / teased in school. In UK nearly half of school kids have been bullied over the past year. Figures based on responses of 150,000 children who took part in a Tellus survey for OFSTED (Office for Standards in Education). Fat kids are included in these figures.
- In relationships – the man or woman no longer finds the partner attractive. A lot of partners start having affairs or lose interest in marriage when their once “slim built” partner puts on weight.
Picture the Scenario - Our Society today.
It’s a scorching hot day. Some men are working on the outside of an office building. One of them, walks into an office full of Admin workers. He is wearing only a pair of jeans, no Top. He is well-built and has a “6 pack”. Turning to a group of people who are sitting in a section, he asks if anyone knows where the Soft Drinks machine is. Nearly all of the staff (I won’t mention the gender) offer to take him there.
Same day, same place, another man walks in wearing a pair of jeans with a bit of a belly and maybe what we call “man boobs”. He asks the same question to staff. Some of the staff point with their finger where he should go and give him directions. Others simply look at him and continue with what they are doing.
We can’t all be Slim.
Lets treat people the way we would like to be treated and look past their size. A lot of people are big but they are highly intelligent, talented, with great personalities and hearts of gold.
On the contrary, you could have someone with excellent body statistics, that would make you do a double-take, but once you get to know them, they can be a real pain in the backside and they no longer look attractive to you. Then you ask yourself “I wonder what I saw in him/her?”. My answer – “physical appearance”.
Help our kids - A lot of kids are chubby when they are young but tend to lose the weight before they become teenagers. Make sure they have healthy diets/exercise and feed their minds positively so they don’t lose their confidence / self esteem. Bullying is common in schools. One of the stars of “Celebrity dancing on ice 2009 – UK” program said she didn’t like her partner lifting her up in the show because when she was young someone in the family lifted her up and commented that she was very heavy. She didn’t like that comment and it has lived with her ever since. She’s now in her 40s. (one of the Nolan Sisters).
If you are naturally big. Please don’t give into society’s pressure to be slim. Love yourself and don’t hate your body. You are unique and special. Fashion wise – Lots of Fashion lines cater for plus sizes. The most important thing is to live a healthy lifestyle.
In some Countries, men actually like their partners big. Example in Africa, most men prefer their women big and robust.
Big is Beautiful.
Dawn French - Successful Comedian
Oprah Winfrey (Beautiful in and out)
Richard Gere - One of my favourite actors, always.....
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Comments
in case of genetic fatness problem, we need to be more generous and compassionate to others.
kudos - wonderful hub. i watch so many friends struggle with body image at the hand of our cruel and unrealistic society. why can't we just love people for who they are versus what they look like!!
hi, lady_e. :-) this article brings back to memory my dear sister in-law who has a 52 inch waist. obviously, she was very big. she was an intelligent woman and defender of the causes for women. i remember her paying for two when she boarded a passenger jeep (a vehicle that transports 10-18 people from one place to another) because the driver was complaining. she had also confronted two students who laughed in front of her and asked them if they had not yet seen a fat lady. she also told them that if they hadnt, they will be taken to a place where there are many fat people. the two students were so frightened and asked their apologies. it can be said it was funny but i felt the hurt when she was telling us the story. she was so frustrated how other people discriminate fat men and women.
some people can truly be insensitive. this glorifying of sexy body and muscular features is actually influenced by advertising.
Thanks Bingskee. You are right and now a lot of teenagers do not like to eat for fear of being fat. Lets hope the situation gets better.
I agree, what a waste to judge people by appearance. No one has the right to rob another of dignity. What a shame that children are learning to judge others by media standards. The bullying in schools and even homes is tragic. We are seeing children committing suicide due to the inability to continue coping at being terrorized. It is a shame on society, we were made for better.
Being me and ...you saw me. I have Chronic illness and many autoimmune problems...I was always very thin! Then in 1979 I fell into a unknown reason coma. It was the lightest level of coma, but I was Given IV steroids! It changed my life. We now know that was the beginning of MS.
My family (not hubby who has that unconditional love) and friends were on me all the time about my weight to the extent that the stress was making me worse.
I have learned many things in the last 30 years;
#1. Love God
#2. Survive and Give Him the Glory
#3. People who only see the outer me are not looking close enough!
This is a world of first impressions. It is a shame that the true beauty sometimes is never seen.
Thank you for this hub! It came at one of my lows about my weight...they do not come often, still thanks again.
Sending you a warm Hug, Texaschick :)
A very positive Hub! You are right Lady_E. Whatever way we are we need to build a positive outlook and learn to be happy from inside.
Hi,
Yes I agree. I never understood why people treat over-weight people differently. Life is hard enough and being over-weight probably makes it a little bit harder.
Physical appearance can be deceiving. I started to date this guy a few years back. He was well built, worked out a few days a week and had the best smile and legs I have ever seen. After a couple of months of dating him I found him to be a huge bore. Looks only go so far in life. Oh, bye the way I stopped dating him. Boring.
Good Hub.
mailxpress
This hub is really awesome. seeing my profile on here and Hub about my weight loss surgery, you can guess I am fat. I do not "candy coat" it. I am a fat woman. So what? :)
I do not presume to live life walking in your shoes, and you certainly do not live in mine is my motto.
But I will say that my choice for surgery comes as my weight I feel is affecting my "quality" of life. I am finding that it is hard or even sometimes impossible to do the things I used to. And yes, my health is a factor as well.
But all and all, I am a healthy, vibrant young woman. I love my God, my country and my life. And I want for my life to go on without restrictions from my weight issues. Thus, I have taken steps to have the surgery to correct some of the problem.
I have some medical issues which have affected me losing weight by traditional means. But I in no way am doing this for external reasons. I think I look really good, whether I have more meat on my bones or not. And my husband loves me just the way I am. Our love is not conditionally based on whether or not I am a size 2, and thank God for that! :)
Thanks for this Hub and good job with it!
Thanks Atomswifey. What comes across to me is that you are very happy inside and I love the fact that you have loving Hubby, who loves you, for you - which is how life should be. Thanks for stopping by. :)
hey so much insight there...... i would bore you if i told you my feelings on this subject...but i was not bored by you comments... nice hub
variety is the spice of life, we need to be excepting of all people because we don't know their battles.i know men that are not attracted to me because i am thin, as long as they are happy let it be.
Brenda, thanks for your comments. You could never bore me. lol.
Loveofnight, you'll meet a lovely Knight in Shining Armor who will love you, for you - whatever weight you are. Such relationships last foreeeeeeeeeever. :)
Hi Lady_E, you are doing a great service with this article. People need to live and let live, and understand people come in all sizes and people are beautiful in different ways! Kartika
Wonderful!! I've always been big. Thankkfully, I met a great man who has always liked big women! We're still together after 20+ years.
Thanks Kartika and Habee.
We can't all be a size zero even when we live a very healthy lifestyle. A lot of women are Slim Jims in their teens up to 20s but as they get older and have kids, the body changes abit.
Habee, you lucky lady. I wish you and Hubby more happy years. No wonder you always have that big smile on your face. :)
What a great Hub Lady_E! This really calls out key points that I believe a lot of people do not understand or fail to think about. People that are fat, are still people, and deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.
As a certified personal trainer, I have run across this issue many times. It is very hard to hit a balance in the psychology of weight. People run the spectrum from morbid obesity to severe anorexia and in the end they are equally unhealthy with similar results debilitating illness and in extreme cases death. I think the ultimate ideal should be **health**, not image. If you are healthy, your heart and lungs are in good working order, and you can run jump, and play with your kids, then you are just fine no matter what your size. I don't let my clients get on a scale. I measure body fat percentage and keep an I eye on heart rate endurance. In any case, great hub and I hope it's a sign that the attitudes of society are progressing, I'm tired of clients telling me that they want to look "skinnier".
Thanks for your comments Caranolle. They do deserve to be treated with dignity and not given dirty looks. Thanks for stopping.
Hi Coach
Interesting comments. I agree with you health is more important than image, but sometimes people want to please others.
Lovely to read from you. Keep up the good work. :)
lady e....
let me start off by saying I actually have seen both sides of this coin personaly. Growing up I was over weight till my early twenty's... I was teased, picked on(even by my siblings and mother), and by classmates/adults alike. The way I felt about myself and my weight was horrible and ugly.. after 'battling the diet buldge' for years, while in college I decided I was sick of worrying about what everyone else thought of me and I had to find and like myself! I discovered that despite what I had been told/called in the past it's up to me whether or not it's true, but by being true/real with myself I can be happy with me! By feeling better about myself I became comfortable in my own skin... thus, went out more, did more things, becoming more active and happy, and before I knew it I lost all the weight I had punished myself for years over! From a size 16 to a size 5/6!!
now, as I said before, there are 2 sides to this coin... You would think that after I lost all my weight I shouldn't have any more issues right? Wrong... but, my issues were in the way people view me now. When I was heavier it seems that the friends and lovers I had were more 'down-to-earth' and real. They loved me 4 me reguardless what I looked like! The guys that approach me now seem more fake/superficial and more conserned about self-image and wrapped up in society's take on what's attractive and what's not. Rather than who I am as a person and what I'm all about.
Hi Chinita
Nice to read from you again;
One thing I am glad about is that you are wise to see that these people are fake and superficial.
I'm 99% sure that being happy is one thing you would like in life. Just be happy with yourself, love you, for you. No matter what size you are, dress well. Dress to compliment your shape and feel good.
Find things that make you happy and do them. Do things for other people that will make you happy inside too. In time, a man who loves you as you are will come your way and you will mean the world to him (read Atomey's Wife's comments above also)
Work out what other things you want in life - draw out a map of how to get there and just move on with your life - which I am sure has a purpose.
With this vibe, you will be at ease with yourself and people around you vice versa. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones. You noted you were comfortable in your skin - remember how that felt. Try to get that feeling back.
Chinita, we live this life only once, don't let other people live it for you.
Wishing you the best of luck.
Elena
Pete Maida says:
6 months ago
People should watch there diets for health reasons. As for others things; they are mainly the work of marketeers that need to sell of the products related to beauty and diet. Dawn and Oprah looks just fine to me.