A Short Review: When this series began we first established that we are created in God's image. God is a trinity; existing as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. We also are a triune being created in His image with a spirit, a soul, and a physical body. In Part 1, we spoke of marriage being the co-mingling of two spirits in worship and service to God. We learned that our human spirit is with God right now in heavenly places. (Eph. 2:6) It communes with the Holy Spirit, making sense of spiritual things effecting us. In Part 2, we learned of the soul (our mind, our will, and our emotions). We learned how God wishes us to be soul-mates with our spouse; that is to become one mind with our mate (Christ-like), one will (God's will) and one in emotions. It is a battle! Our enemy wants us defeated on each one of these fronts.

In this last installment of our series, Part 3, we will be exploring the third part of our triune nature - our body. To God, our body is a holy thing. The Holy Spirit lives in our heart according to Scripture and therefore calls our bodies "His temple", "His house" and "His tent". His Word sets out certain rules of conduct for us as married people. We see this aspect of our nature misunderstood and misrepresented by our society and the world over. Everything God has set forth for us regarding our sexuality becomes destorted when popular opinion is taken as fact. Marriages are torn apart because of sex. Sexually related crimes are rampant, even murder is common, all because of sex and its misuse by mankind.

Understanding The Basics.

The World, with all of its rationale and reasoning tries to minimize the importance and significance that should be placed on our sexuality. They do this by foisting on us the notion that sexuality is a biological function and nothing more. Should a person or couple include a deeper meaning, that's up to them, but completely unnecessary (they say). God paints a very different picture for us with some aspects that we will never completely understand until we get to Heaven. The description that God gives, makes sexuality the nexus where body, soul, and spirit meet, merge, and communicate. The World sees through purely sensual eyes that can't see beyond the physical plane. Though most are aware that there are untapped aspects of sexuality, they are unable to grasp the deeper spiritual aspects because an unregenerated spirit that can not see the things of God. They are simply left with an orgasm. On the average an orgasm is only 8 to 12 seconds in duration. Such pain and destruction over something lasting only a few seconds! This brief moment of pleasure and the things that lead up to it are all the World has as its sexuality. (i.e. erotic thoughts, varying techniques, toys, role playing etc.) Encouragements to walk "on the wild side" are endorsements to throw away essential inhibitions and restraints thus allowing into your mind all manner of evil and depravity. Thoughts go to fornication, adultry, sadism, masochism, and all manner of deviations away from God's design. Labeled "fantasies", these sins of the mind give way to sins of the body leaving the true nature of sex and its many wondrous blessings totally untapped. Sex for the World is so much less than God intended it to be. Sadly Christians often buy into these superficial reasonings and then wonder why their own marriages are so shaky.

Concept 1. Sharing Our Bodies Is Spiritual.

God originated the concept of two bodies merging into one flesh. Since sex involves all three aspects of our triune nature (remember: body, soul, spirit), there is no experience more intimate. Our bodies respond with hundreds of physiological responses, including millions of nerves in systems that involve the whole body. Our souls, our minds, our wills, and of course our emotions blend into one.

The scientific professors would have us to believe that our sexuality is no different than that of the animal kingdom.  Sex partners can be interchangable and as varied as one chooses, so long as neither party is harmed in any way.  Unmarried people jump from partner to partner in an attempt to satisfy an emptiness and a hunger in their flesh.

God would not have it to be so.  To God his creation of sex is a holy thing, an act of intimacy that belongs to Him and only in part to us.  "But he that is joined to the Lord is one spirit.  Flee fornication. [sex outside marriage partner] Every sin that a man does is outside the body; but he that commits fornication sins against his own body. What? Know you not that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit which is in you, which you have of God, and you are not your own?  For you are bought with a price [the blood of Jesus] , therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit which are God's." (1Cor. 6:18-20)

Concept 2. Sharing Our Bodies Is A Picture Of Unity.

The coming together of two people in a marriage covenant before the Lord creates a natural balance and a living picture of Jesus Christ with the redeemed of the earth, His church.  This is not just a coincidence.  Nor is it an abstract goal.  It is God's design.  Marriage is His creation.

Popular culture would say that cohabitation with a person as if you were married is no different than actually being married.  That couldn't be farther from the truth.  They devalue the covenant relationship between two people before a Holy God to a mere contractual promise between two people and that promisory contract is easily breakable in their mind.

Since marriage and the subsequent sex the couple shares pictures a greater relationship, (Eph. 5:25) we now have a guideline that changes the premise of almost all of the World's wisdom on the subject.  Marriage is not easily broken because Jesus promises to "never leave us or forsake us." (Heb.13:5) He expects this of marriage partners as well. (1Cor. 7:10-11)  God speaks of Himself as a "jealous God" in the generic sense of the term, meaning He expects the relationship to be exclusive between the two parties; Himself and the individual believer. (Ex. 20:5)  So too, He expects us to remain loyal to each other. (Eccl. 9:9)  He commands His people to "put no gods before him." (Ex. 20:3)  The parallel, of course, is that we are always to put our mate ahead of all others in love, honor, and respect.  In fact, the correlation between the two is remarkably similiar.

Concept 3. Sharing Our Bodies Is An Exercise In Love.

The Greek language has a word that describes a kind of love that springs from the spirit and that word is AGAPE'.  Agape' love cares and loves like God loves, sacrificially, and unconditionally.  This love was to pervade every action taken by the Christian in his daily walk.  It is a word that includes the sense that there is a sharing, a ministering going on, and not just self-gratification.  Agape' is to guide sexual love as well.  The guiding thought is to bring glory to God and to please your partner.  There will be pleasure in giving, if each of you keep in mind that sex is [primarily] for your partner - not for you.  That attitude will keep the true nature of sex in focus.  The World's belief is that having sex merely out of duty does both partners a disservice.  God's Word disagrees, even conferring a type of ownership of your body to your mate.  It is your responsibility to fulfill the sexual needs of your partner.  Does that thought disturb you?  It shouldn't because it is what lovemaking is all about, your partner fulfilling your needs and you fulfilling theirs.

"Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.  Let the husband render unto his wife due benevolence [owed sexual favor], and likewise also the wife unto the husband.  The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband does: and likewise also the husband hath not power over his own body, but the wife does.  Defraud ye not one the other." [Do not hold back sex. Literally: cheat the other of sex]  (1Cor. 7:2-5)

How To Really Make Love.

Guideline 1. Include God In The Bedroom.

Divine mandate says for us to do "all things for God's glory." (1Cor. 10:31)  He says that "without Him we can do nothing." (John 15:5)  We are aware of this and then we leave God outside our bedroom door.  God is a vital part of our lovemaking.  Never forget that.  I suggest praying for wisdom in how you may please your mate.  Pray together nightly and include God in your intimate moments.  Never have sex out of anger or out of selfishness.  Have your sins confessed before God when lovemaking.  When alone you can pray something like this:

"Dear Jesus, I know that I am a sinner and I need you now.  I love my (wife/husband) and wish our time to be passionate and meaningful.  Forgive me and control me so I will show my mate how very much I love him/her.  Guide my hands to caress her/hiim right, my mouth to speak to him/her right, my body to respond to him/her right.  Thank you in Jesus' name. Amen."

Guideline 2. Be Ready To Serve And Support.

Let's be practical.  Our bodies make love therefore sex is a physical activity.  To be ready to serve your mate in a physical way you must begin to tune your physical body so that it will function properly.  If all you are is a lazy couch potato, then that is what body you have to work with and your mate has to look at.  Get up! move and get the blood pumping.  Stop sitting.  Secondly, be clean.  Good hygene is pleasent but a stinky spouse is not.  Your farts are not endearing.  Your impoliteness is not attractive.  Just because you live together doesn't mean you have the right to be gross.  Men/women shave if that is what your spouse prefers.  Deodorant, cologne, perfume, toothbruth, toothpaste.  Come on you know what to do.  This leads us to the point of sensitivity.  Open up to one another and talk.This is the one person that God has given you to share your most intimate and treasured secrets.  Listen to her.  Listen to him.  When you talk there will be words spoken of weakness and difficulties, maybe even problems that must be faced together.  Wives may need more time, more tenderness.  Husbands may have problems that may make him concerned for his performance in making his wife happy and fulfilled.  If either has a physical problem they should seek medical attention together.  Support one another and assure one another that you are there for them.

Guideline 3. Be Respectable Before God And Your Spouse.

"Wives, see that you reverence [respect] your husband." (Eph.5:33)  Easily said isn't it?  At times there is very little to respect about your spouse.  Husbands, to be desirable to your wives, be respectabale.  The first rule is :Love God and live a life pleasing in His sight.  To a Christian woman, when her man loves the Lord, he is irresistible to her and wise.  The second rule is never disrespect your wife. Never.   Don't do it to her face nor behind her back, ever.  Wives fill your man's head with thoughts of you.  Love the Lord first and foremost.  The second rule is never disrespect your husband.  Never in front of him or in front of others, ever.  Disrespect is like a disease that festers and forms resentment.  Remember our mind and our spirit motivate our bodies.  When we are in the right relationship with God then our mind is in the right place for sexual harmony and passion.

Guideline 4. Be Romantic All Of The Time.

Impossible, you say?  Nonsense?  It is not only possible but commanded, making it a necessary ingredient for marriage.  These things are not guided by feelings they are a choice. "Let [your choice] your fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of your youth. Let [your choice] her be as the loving hind or pleasent roe; let  [your choice] her breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be ravished with her love."  (Pro. 5:18-19)  True love does not disappear because of disharmony or sin.  Fellowship is hampered, but the source of love is always there: God.  Do everything you can to be all that God wants you to be.  Be playful, imaginative, sensitive - and it will create an atmosphere that enhances romance.  Always be learning each other, willing to love and serve one another.  Never stop working and striving to be perfect in love!

Guideline 5. A Heart Of Gratefulness Produces Power.

Husbands remember that your wife is a treasure more valuable than rubies. (Pro. 31:10)  Wives remember that your husband was given you by God. (Eph. 5:20-22)  God's Word says for us to be grateful and that gratefulness will be a key to great power and success in your relationship.  Like dominoes all falling in a row, gratefulness creates an atmosphere of joy and gladness which leads to enthusiasm.  Enthusiasm leads to energy and that energy produces excitement.  Excitement induces imagination and imagination keeps things interesting.  These are all ingredients for a lifetime of deep, passionate intimacy that includes mind-blowing, totally fulfilling sex.