Being the mother of two teens and the step mother of two more poses more challenges than I could ever have imagined. In order they are ages 13, 14, 16 and 17 and while we have joked about adopting one more to fill that middle gap, in truth I would rather send them all back to the factory for a refund.

Every day is a constant struggle for their respectful attention and participation in the "family" that, in truth has all but vanished into this electronic age. Communication for them is only "received" if it comes in the form of a text message over their cell phones, or a hastily typed message on Myspace. They have all but forgotten how to use their ears for anything but an iPod and their mouths, which should be chattering non-stop stay oddly scrunched in a permanent off position (Well, except when want you to drive them somewhere, or buy them something). The oddest and most difficult aspect of all this is not simply that all those things we learned about childhood don't apply in this modern world, but that they have learned to distance themselves from responsibility and accountability, the two greatest assets to have in order to succeed in life. In fact, I was talking to my daughter's psychologist the other day (yes, it has come to that) and she told me that the word for this generation is "entitlement". We, as a population, have skipped many developmental stages that would have come from a slow transition into this cyber-world and instead have raised a generation with their own value system and need for immediate gratification. Hard work to achieve your goals no longer seems necessary when everything is available at the push of a button and ordinary people have, very publicly, become billionaires by simply creating a good on-line game. Gadgets are their reality....sad, but true.

So, I lecture and I put expectations and parameters on their lives....but they do not "hear" me. I take away their electronics when chores have not been done, only to be accused of cutting them off from their "friends"....some how a regular telephone or walking a few blocks to visit is not an option. I try to be optimistic about their futures and not feel too hurt when they tell me repeatedly with a contemptuous look that I "don't understand them AT ALL!!!" Oh, I understand all right....."entitlement" is the word. In the end, I listen when they actually do talk but if they don't participate in the household, and the family events then I will give them nothing more than my love and the basic support a parent is required to give a child....food, shelter, education and clothing. Gone are my dreams of family hikes and softball games....let alone Christmas carolling or vacations together. I don't get them at all? Maybe, but they have no idea what they are missing or how hard life will be when they actually have to work for it.