Belly dancing is a wonderful exercise and creative outlet for mature women. It's gentle on the body and doesn't require the flexibility of youth! Belly dance class offers a rare haven where older women can lose their inhibitions, dress in jewels and satin, and let it all hang out. However, not so long ago I had a reality check.

I was talking to a 30-something acquaintance at a belly dance festival. We were watching a school group performing, and I said I'd love to join it, if only the school wasn't so far away.

"You don't want to be a part of that troupe," she said, wrinkling her nose. "It's just a bunch of old women."

Now, I've met those "old women" - most of them are younger than me! While I was flattered to think I looked too young to be in their troupe, it made me look at them with non-bellydancing eyes. Suddenly their bright eye make-up and fake hair looked more drag queen than dancing queen. By dressing in a style made for young dancers, they were actually highlighting their age.

I didn't think much more about it - after all, they were enjoying themselves, what did it matter? Until I bumped into Jackie, one of the troupe members, and asked her if she enjoyed the festival.

"I did until I saw the photos," she said. "I looked bloody awful."

And there's my point. Of course there's nothing wrong with older women getting dressed up like Mata Hari if we want to. But it's easy to get carried away in the supportive atmosphere of a belly dance class, and not realize what we look like to other people. The danger (as we've seen above) is that we'll display ourselves in public not realizing we look like sad old tarts - and then it's all preserved on camera!

Those photos really dented Jackie's confidence. it took a few months for her to get up the courage to perform in public again - in a different outfit!

It would have been a real shame if Jackie had given up belly dance because she's a lovely dancer. She took the right approach - adjusting her costume, hair, make-up, and choreography to suit her age.

The reality is that as we get older, bits of us get flabby and unattractive. Look critically at yourself and identify your best (or least worst) points, and choose your outfit accordingly.

For instance, no one minds if your stomach hangs over your hip belt in class, but your audience really doesn't want to see it.

Many dancers try to hide a less-than-perfect stomach with long fringing or a narrow piece of material connecting the bra with the skirt. If you think one of these disguises work for you, check how they look when you're actually dancing, especially from the side view - you may be in for an unpleasant surprise!

If the tummy flab isn't too bad, you may find a good body stocking is enough to hold everything in. Lace will disguise scars better than a plain sheer.

If your mid-section has definitely seen better days, then the current fashion for evening-dress style costumes is a Godsend. These are sometimes called galabeyah-style, although goodness knows why - the only resemblance to that shapeless shift is the fact that they're long and in one piece!

In fact, these long, figure-hugging dresses are good for most figure flaws, especially if they've got plenty of Lycra content. You can even wear shapewear underneath for a smooth silhouette (make sure you can dance in it, though!).

These dresses usually have cut-outs at strategic places, which can either show bare skin, or be filled in with sheer fabric (either flesh-coloured or toning with the main colour). The ideal is to get the costume custom-made for you, so you can choose to have the cut-outs in places that highlight your best features. If that's outside your budget and you can sew, you might consider buying an ordinary evening dress and making the cut-outs yourself.

If you still have good legs, show them off with a split skirt. If the shape is good but the varicose veins ain't, use semi-sheer fabric panels instead of a complete split.

Many older women have a bountiful cleavage (even if it needs industrial strength support to counter the sag!). Draw attention to it with a low-cut neckline and lots of embellishment - which obviously suggests a beaded bra, but many older women worry about back overflow. A tie-front midriff top is a safer bet. If that looks a bit too plain for your taste, you can wear a beaded bra underneath - just tuck the ties under your bra at the sides, instead of crossing them in front. You can also find tribal choli tops designed to tie under the bust, specifically to show off a coin bra.

Tip - if you're buying a tie-front top not made for belly dancing, just make sure you can lift your arms above your head without pulling the front up over your boobs! High street tops often don't have enough stretch.

One high street buy that does work, though, is a beaded shrug.

Perhaps the biggest source of angst for mature dancers is their upper arms - what Australians call tuckshop arms and the Americans call bingo wings.

If your arms still look allright but jiggle when you move, a narrow band of stretch sequins may be all you need to arrest the wobble. But if your bingo wings are really starting to flap, a narrow armband will draw unwanted attention to the droop. In that case, the best camouflage is a sleeved top, or a shrug.

However, there are times when you may have no option - for instance, when you're dancing in a troupe and have to wear what they're wearing. In that case, larger armbands may be the solution.

Chances are at least some of the troupe will be wearing armbands anyway, on the forearms or over the elbow. Never wear arm bands in that position - it will only emphasise jello upper arms. But it won't look too out of place if you wear similar armbands higher up.

Don't make the mistake of making them small - they need to reach from elbow to armpit, or your bingo wings will just sneak out above or below. Use a lycra material with the stretch width-wise - it will hug your arms so you don't need elastic to hold them up (which would cut in).

Always test-drive your arm bands before performing in them: you may have to experiment to get them tight enough to stay up, but not so tight that they create overflow.

Belly dance troupes generally want dancers to wear their hair long. Tribal dancers are lucky, because they can disguise their lack of hair easily with turbans and hair wraps. The rest of us reach for hairpieces and wigs. But remember - if long hair or an "up do" don't suit you in real life, they won't magically look good when you're belly dancing!

Most mature women need some softness around the face. If you're going to wear your hair up for a wedding or special occasion, your hairdresser can pull the hair back loosely for a soft effect. Try that for a dance performance, and your beautiful "do" will fall out at the first spin! To stay put during vigorous movement, hair needs to be pulled back firmly, and that can look harsh.

It was Jackie's hair that embarrassed her more than anything in those photos. In real life, she wears a chin-length, face-framing layered cut. For performance, she pulled her hair back and added a fake ponytail with a jewelled scrunchie. The result was severe, and made her look older.

Personally, I know I look awful with long hair hanging round my face - it emphasises my saggy jawline. But I don't suit my hair pulled severely back, either. My most flattering solution is a long half-wig worn on a headband, so I don't have hair hanging around my face but I still have volume.

Theatrical make-up is exaggerated. Dancers need to wear coloured eye-shadow, thicker eyeliner, tons of mascara and bright lipstick, otherwise their features can't be seen from the audience.

Unfortunately this kind of make-up can look tarty on a mature woman, and can also add years to her face because creams and powders settle into wrinkles and make them more obvious. Before deciding on your make-up, consider how far away the spectators will be. If you're up on a stage, then by all means "go for broke". But often, belly dancers perform quite close to their audience. If that's the case, then stick closer to what you'd wear for a special night out, or you'll risk looking like a drag queen.

Have at least one practice session before the event. Don't just put your face on and clean it straight off again - leave your make-up on and check it again in half an hour. That way, you'll discover whether anything is going to settle into the creases!

Finally, always check your make-up with a magnifying mirror, in good light, once it's done. Everyone's eye for close work starts to fail after the mid-forties - some more than others. You may not notice how much detail you can't see these days. Brightly coloured eyeshadow looks dreadful if it's not evenly applied, and even worse if you have specks of it scattered over your cheeks!

Modifying choreography is as much about ability as style. As we age, we can't always do the moves we used to do. If that applies to you, don't try to "fudge" the move - do something else instead. Understatement works wonders.

Stamina may be flagging, too. The solution to this is to discover the power of stillness. Pausing occasionally in a beautiful pose highlights the next step, and gives you a chance to catch your breath.

Finally, be careful of overtly sexy and suggestive moves. It's true that many belly dance moves require us to shake our hips, butt and boobs - but there is a big difference between shakin' it like an MTV clip and the elegant shimmies of a mature, sexually confident woman in (I think) the prime of her life!

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All text copyright Belly Dance Oz. Costume photos thanks to Toast to Life. Hair photo by Jennratonmort. Blue dancer courtesy of Valerie Everett.