Welcome to the expert's guide to Best Man speeches. Once you have been chosen as the Best Man, you have a large set of responsbilities. This guide will help you through every step and give you pointers on how to succeed for the big wedding day.

Before beginning your Best Man speech, take a piece of paper and run through this checklist to get you started off on the right foot.

1) Figure out how long you want the speech to be. Normal speeches are all under 8 minutes or so. You have a few options here, the short speech which is 3-4 minutes and a longer, more drawn out speech at a little over 6 or 7 minutes. It's completely up to you. I'd recommend 5 minutes which is a nice soft middle ground and won't bore anyone.

2) Choose your main theme. The basic themes Best Men use are these: humorous, serious, and a blend of both. This will depend on how skillful you are at writing. Think you can write something Dane Cook would approve of? Then try your weight at a funny Best Man speech. If you are use to writing serious essays and stuff, stick to something emotionally appealing that will lift everyone's mood at the wedding. A blend of humor and serious prose is also a valid option. You will have placed a few great jokes in and throughout your speech but it will be grounded in praising the newlyweds and making them proud of their big day.

3) Collect old stories which will be useful in your speech. Think hard for a few moments and brainstorm funny anecdotes, classic campfire stories or childhood embarrassments. These are invaluable to making your speech full of character and show it was written from the heart. Everyone at the wedding will be dying to hear some funny secrets or unknown things about the Groom and want to know how close you are to him as well. This is your chance to show how special of a bond you have with him. Watch out, you want to avoid anything too graphic or disturbing, keep the content safe for all listeners!

4) Pick up a few books on writing well. Head on over to your local Borders or Barnes and Noble and check out guides on editing and basic grammar. You can always learn a few pointers from these and will add some stylish touches to your speeches. Also pick a book up on public speaking to help you with overcoming any fears and anxieties about speaking in front of big audiences.

5) Ask the Groom directly if there is anything specific he wants in the speech. A lot of you Best Men want to flat out surprise him at the wedding, but asking him for a few ideas never hurts. Perhaps he has a story he wants you to embellish or a couple details of your friendship that he wants to share with everyone.

6) Set aside upwards of 10 hours to work on your Best Man speech. It may at first seem like a lot of time to write 5 minutes of material, but you only get one chance at this - it pays to do it right.

The introduction is one of the most important facets of Best Man speeches. Here is where you can  immediately nab everyone's attention within seconds and set the tone for your five minutes of speech glory. Therefore, it is vital you place a lot of time in ensuring your intro captures everyone's initial attention and makes them want to keep listening.

Here are some tips to make your intro the best one at the wedding. The first sentence is the most important aspect of the introduction. Either place a hilarious joke, anecdote or a catchy phrase/quote in the beginning. Don't start it off with thanking everyone, save that for the end. Another thing to keep in mind is to keep the intro rather short. People do, after all, want you to get to the meat of the Best Man speech. Intro's should be kept to a minute or less, or about a couple of sentences. Also, don't give away your best material up front. You want your speech to start off pretty well, and progress to the most appealing material in the middle then cater off near the end for a solid ending.  

Here is where you put your best jokes, memories and praises. The body needs to reflect the audience and the Groom appropriately. Figure out if it is ok to say a couple of gags here and there or how serious you need to perform. Younger audiences (crowds less than 35 years old) will react better to younger humor than a crowd of 55 year olds. If the Groom is more uptight, watch out and just focus on sentimental good compliments and how blessed you feel about the union of love. Of course, if your Groom loves jokes and is more laid back, fire away with your best material and jokes. You need to have as much fun with Best Man speeches as the Bride and Groom. If the Bride or Groom, or even yourself is religious, feel free to integrate that aspect into your speech.  

You want to spend a sizeable amount of your time on the body. This is the content that the audience, Groom, and yourself will remember for years to come. Unless you plan on being the Best Man at another wedding, take your time and continue to edit your speech to make it perfect, capturing the moment of the wedding and allowing everyone to welcome the newlyweds.  

Another important part of Best Man speeches, the ending will summarize what you have said and leave everyone wanting some more - hopefully. In my experience, don't end the speech on a joke, instead write a few lines that show how much you appreciate love and being the Best Man, and thank the audience of course for listening to you!

Another good idea for endings is to finish off with a quote or one-liner. A lot of people won't be expecting this so you will catch them by surprise.

"Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight"

"Marriage is the imagination triumphing over intelligence"

"May you never leave your marriage alive" 

Everyone is a little shy in front of an audience. Grab some insight over at Best Man Speeches  and here are some pointers to keep you in shape:

1) Prepare. This means read over your speech a hundred times, in front of a mirror, in front of your Mom, even in front of the Groom. Get use to talking in front of someone, even strangers if you can.

2) Eye contact. Look long enough at the audience's eyes. Show that you are confident by looking at them instead of staring at your cards like you are reading it right off (even if you are reading it right off, fake it!)

3) Get enough sleep. If you are very tired for the wedding your speech will lack enthusiasm and you may be unable to control your anxiety since you are so fatigued.

4) Laugh & Smile. If there are any jokes in your speech, have fun with them! Don't keep a undertaker's face when you are cracking a hilarious one-liner or silly memory of elementary school. Let the audience know you have a soft side and you will win them over instantly.

5) Breathe. Keep taking deep breaths the entire time. Because your heart is beating fairly fast, you need to keep pace with your breathing to control your stress and body heat.

6) Pauses. Every once in a while take a couple seconds to stand up straight, smile and take a break. This looks normal and gives you some space. I recommend putting a pause right after the intro and right before the ending. This also sets up the transitions between the parts of your Best Man speech.

Bachelors Party : Plan this a week or two before the wedding. You have a big selection to choose from. You don't have to get all drunk and invite strippers over, you could go camping or boating or hang out at a cabin. Be creative and make sure to get everyone's input, and of course let the Groom have the last word on what he wants to do.

Wedding Day: Show up very early and make sure your clothes are clean and appearance is presentable. Quickly find the Groom and/or wedding planner to get situated. Ask them if you can help out with setting up tables/chair or anything else. When you get time, feel free to sit down and read over your speech.

Before the Toast & Speech: Don't get too intoxicated. Stay clear of the alcohol until after you have given the speech. This will ensure a good delivery so you won't slur your words. The less you drink, the more your speech will sound professional, plus you can always drink later that night. 

These questions help you come up with content for your own speech

When did you first meet the Groom

How long have you known the Groom

When, how and where did you meet the Groom?

What was your first impression of the Groom

How has that changed over the years?

What are some of the highlights of your friendship?

What are some of your favorite memories of the Groom?

What are some of your favorite humorous memories of the Groom?

What kind of mischief have you and the Groom gotten into over the years?

What is the Groom's personality like?

What are the Groom's passions?

What qualities do you like best about the Groom?

What qualities do you like least about the Groom? 

After your closing, it is traditional to make a toast to the Bride and Groom. At this time the guests are invited to raise their glasses and salute the newlyweds.

If you choose to make a toast, make sure that you have a full glass of wine or water handy before starting. It would be silly to toast with an empty glass!

The toast should be short yet memorable...start it off with "Finally, I would like to make a toast to the newly weds. Please lift your glasses and join me."

At this point, pause for a few seconds to allow the audience to raise their glasses. If you would like the audience to stand, please tell them. Give them a few seconds to stand and take their positions. You do not want commotion when you are telling your actual toast.

Then continue, "To [Bride's Name] and [Groom's Name], may the happiness you feel today only multiply as your love grows day by day, year by year."

Other variations are as follows:

"Love, unity, prosperity, success, health and happiness are what we wish for you today and always!"

"May this day be remembered as love, unity, and lifelong partnership"

"This day may end tonight, but the celebration shall continue forever!" 

Here are important things to remember if something unexpected arises during the wedding or speech.

If you lose your speech (paper gets wet, you drop it, left it at home) don't panic. The good thing is that if you have practiced it enough, you can virtually re-write it. This is a merit of long nights practicing the speech, it can save you in case you lose your script. But if not, remember to write an intro, body and conclusion. Your intro can be changed to say how you lost your script and you are winging it, but you are doing it with style. You can always make something unfortunate happy with a little bit of creativity.

If you all of a sudden choke during your performance. When your throat gets dry and sweat beads build up over you forehead, things can get rough. Just take a few moments, wipe the sweat away and grab a drink, but most importantly smile. No one expects you to be a professional and they all want to have a fun time. Best Man speeches need to be fun and you have to be comfortable going with the flow if you screw up in a few areas. The worst action to take if you mess up is to suddenly stop and look confused. Your glare will only make for more awkward silence. Keep your cool and everyone will follow your speech to the last word!

If you accidentally spill something on your shirt, jacket or pants, walk to the bathroom and slowly dab (don't rub!) the stain out with a warm cloth. Dabbing works better than rubbing because you soak up any liquids instead of force them into the fabric. Another option is to drink white wine, avoid colored cocktails/beer, and stick to clear liquors like vodka or gin.