Betrayal, Rejection, and our need for Koinonia

Betrayal - part 2

Dr. Kluane Spake

Betrayal can keep our lives in dullness and ineffectiveness. In fact, betrayal can keep you from wanting to go to have goals, from wanting to have friends, and from trusting.

The underlying danger isn't the betrayal itself as much as the fact that we allowed the opinions and actions of others to affect us. The need for approval can loom as a great control of our lives.

The apostle Paul encountered much persecution and betrayal. He learned to be outspoken leader and was able to show us a powerful example of pressing past the fragility of emotional meltdowns.

Betrayal brings about the emotions of feeling rejected.

Ask yourself, "What gives me security and identity?" Is it God and His Word, or other people's evaluation of us?

Some people really like to make us dance in insecurity, guilt, and condemnation. They make us feel unworthy. If we depend upon dysfunctional people to give us the approval and happiness we need, then we will be disappointed - a LOT!

A lack of self-confidence in who the Bible says we are keeps us addictively seeking endorsements and approval. And that's one of the main reasons for betrayal! How do you see yourself?

The very first step to freedom is to KNOW who you are. You are who the Scriptures say you are! Not who people say. Rejection comes from trying too hard to make everyone like you.

The needless performances of our lives must end. Remember... the Pharisees were prideful about how well they could keep the law and follow all the rules. Jesus called them, "White-washed sepulchers!" It's not about our works or being validated! It's about believing what God says about us. We don't have to perform for the Lord.

And whats more! We don't have to try to make God like us! He already does. God loves us just like we are. He finds us acceptable. He said that he will never leave us. Our job is to believe that He ALREADY loves us - not because of what we do. And, we don't have to perform for other people either.

Betrayal and resulting rejection come from not renewing our mind to these truths. Wrong thinking causes most of our mistakes. What was our motive in the first place? Accepting betrayal and rejection can cause us great setbacks. Our mind-set about ourselves directly impacts our ability to fulfill our purpose. Scriptures teach us how to think spiritually and change our old thoughts.

Where is koinonia? Where is the friendship that the Bible commands?

Some of the greatest dangers in allowing betrayal and rejected to affect us are: (1) we become double minded and are unable to please God (Jms. 1), (2) we expect people to meet our needs, and (3) we try to please people:

Rejection can become a bitter root expectancy. If you expect it to happen - it will. Job said (3:25) that the thing he greatly feared came upon him! That's what happens! When you assume that people will reject you.,, they do! Fear is a force of emotion that brings that very thing upon us

Proverb 23:7 - "As a man thinks within himself, so is he".

Healthy relationships with others are important to everyone. It is not healthy to require approval or misplaced loyalty. As we search for koininea and love in the Body of Christ, remember that friendship cannot be bought or controlled. We love the Lord with all our heart and might, and we love others with no expectation of return. That's the agape kind of love.

When we become emotionally attached, we must be careful to not place them in a position of power greater that that of the Lord in our lives. Look beyond their exterior and try to understand what drives them.

Armed with a sense of purpose, you can accomplish your density. Know who you are and don't allow others to define your life.

If you want to learn more about becoming whole in your soul realm, we have lots of books and free articles on my website at kluane.org -- there's MUCH more, just click on the RSS to your right!

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Let's learn together and build the Third Day Church!

Thanx. Your online pastor, Dr. Kluane Spake