Being betrayed by your best friend is essentially the same feeling you have when you lose a best friend through death in a tragic accident. I know, I have experienced both, and both times my world was rocked. I felt as if an 8.0 earthquake had hit, only the tremors didn't stop a few days later, they lasted for years.

I lost my best friend Kurt when I was eighteen. I was talking to him one night on the phone, making plans to see him the next week.  The next morning I woke up to find out he died in a car accident at midnight the night before. I didn't think I would ever experience the feeling of being punched in the stomach eight times, and not be able to stand upright for a long time until I was betrayed by my best friend four years ago.

My best friend was like a sister. We had children the same age, all the same hobbies, most of the same experiences in life, good and bad, and bonded over coffee, movies, and nights out without the kids. She was my confidante. She was my family in a city where I had none. She was like a sister, cousin and friend all rolled up into one. The morning phone calls were the start to a day that was filled with many more phone calls, texts, and visits. We spent holidays together, went on a cruise,spent Saturday's at the park with our kids, and our greetings and farewells were always met with a kiss, a hug and an I love you.

My divorce was hell. She knew what my ex was putting me through, what he had put me through and knew my future was looking doomed with clouds circling over my head much the way seagulls circle in the air when they spot food. She dried my tears, held my children, and spoke words of encouragement into my ears that were longing to hear anything positive. In my heart and brain, I felt a loyalty to her and her kind gestures. I knew I would be the best friend to her forever.

Then my world crashed. My ex-husband told me, while I was sitting in a shopping mall parking lot waiting for my friend to have lunch and shop, that he had been having sex with her. I hung up the phone. For the first time in my life I experienced paralyzation over my entire body. I sat there for many minutes. I screamed and yelled. She never showed up, my ex called her and told her I had found out.

I layed in bed for five days. I ate nothing, I talked to no one, and slaughtered myself mentally for being so naive and trustworthy. This type of betrayal stays with you for a long time. You cannot believe you were duped so horribly. You think to yourself, "Why was I so blind?" You question your judgement. You question your life, and all the people in it. Her betrayal haunted me in my dreams and in my mind. It wouldn't go away.

I found peace after two years! First I forgave myself and then her. We are not friends, nor will we ever be. But I have moved on and pray I never feel the sting from a Queen Bee again!