Big Breasts Rule The World | How To Make It Look Like You Have Big Boobs

As is self evident fact requiring no argument or evidence, people with big boobs are happier. I include both women and men in that sentence and sentiment for good reason. Over the past decade it has even become fashionable for women to undergo actual real life, honest to god, getting sliced open under anesthetic surgery just to obtain bigger breasts. Some Internet statistics (the most reliable statistics in the world, around 2 million women in the USA alone have had breast implants since the procedure was introduced in 1962. (Source)

Look at me citing my sources, it's like I'm a real journalist!

I'm also a bit of a philosopher. Let me ask you this question, could 2 million women be wrong? Exactly. Clearly, having big breasts is very desirable. But surgery is costly and involves, well, surgery. Anything requiring more than a band aid is about enough to make me faint, so I've compiled this list of tips and hints for looking big breasted without the surgery. Some are tongue in cheek, others are totally legitimate and effective methods that have been fooling and subsequently disappointing drunken bar hounds for centuries.

Get Fat

That's right, putting on weight is a sure fire way to increase your breast tissue. Unless you have a body type where all excess weight goes directly to your ass and thighs, in which case, I don't recommend this technique.

Padded Bras

Padded push up bras really do work. Buy specialist push up padded bras from your favorite lingerie retailer, or simply stuff the bra you have with socs, tissues, table cloths, whatever comes to hand.

Deep V Necks

Ever wondered why celebrities wear those dresses cut down to their navels? Why, because it makes their breasts look larger of course. This optical illusion is caused by the fact that swathes of cleavage are visible. It may not suit those who relate having standards, principals or morals to the way they dress, but hey, it's all random scraps of cloth at the end of the day, right?

Low Hanging Pendant

Low hanging pendants, crosses, or other ornamentation dangling from a necklace are perfect for drawing the eyes of onlookers towards your cleavage, thus making it appear larger. You don't get to complain that men are staring at your boobs if you use this (or any of the other techniques included herein however,) that wouldn't be sporting.

Sash

A sash tied around your waist both emphasizes the smallness of your waist and the relative largeness of your boobs. The sash should be large enough to make it look fashionable, too small a sash and you run the risk of looking like a string of sausages, especially if you happen to be on the larger side.

Corsetry

Corsets are the time honored method of making one's boobs appear big. Think of them as extreme sashes. I don't need to explain how corsets work, do I? They squeeze your tummy in, pop your breasts out and make you look fit for the 15^th century.