This is the first of part of a several part series about why I consider Big Love to be one of the my favorite show on TV right now. I have never been very interested in network series and programs, well at least not since the days of Seinfeld and Friends, so HBO series have been my go to for must see programming. Back in 2006 when I started watching Big Love it was something new and different because there had never really been a show about the subject of polygamy before. After watching several episodes I was hooked because the writing is stellar, and the actors do such as good job dealing with this unusual subject material. A few years ago I remember hearing about cult of The Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints (FLDS) that practiced polygamy and the occasional bigamist on the news that "forgot" he was still married to his first wife, but I never really thought much about the subject. The show lead me to do a little bit of research about polygamy for myself. I read the books Escape and Broken Dreams, which are both autobiographies by women that mustered courage to escape the clutches of polygamy. In the many of cases polygamy is foisted upon young women that often are told by their parents to marry an older man. Some polygamous groups will often ship out the young men because they are viewed as competition for the older men that hunger for a continuous supply of young brides. The book Escape explained this scenario in all the sad detail, and the show Big Loveweaves this sad phenomenon into the storyline. However, despite all the sadness in polygamy the Henricksons are the example of a functional polygamous family that lives in the suburbs and respects one another.

I have read several message boards with women and men that has posted anonymously that their lifestyle is much more like the Hendricksons' than the polygamous families we see on the compounds that get raided. One of the reasons I find Big Love intriguing is because it is willing to explore a topic that is very taboo, but this is happening in today's society and something of which we should be aware. Some of the business dramatics in Big Love are a little over the top, but I still enjoy the show because when we get down to examining the family itself they are basically like many other families. Their family unit is different than what we consider to be the traditional family, but all the members struggle with each other and have their ups and downs as all relatives do. Once we get past the point of polygamy Big Love is a show that explores many issues that all people deal with on daily basis.

The topic of polygamy and sex come up quite frequently on the show Big Love, which is considered entertainment for adults and not recommended for younger children. If you watch this show with your kids be ready to explain many details because unlike regular shows where kids have questions, this one will prompt about twice as many. Personally this is not a concern for me because I do not have kids, but I have read on several message boards that parents choose to watch this show after their children have gone to sleep. It is possible to watch Big Loveon Netflicks like I did last year before I got cable, or you can even watch it on video on demand if you have cable or satellite. The books I read about polygamy Escape and Broken Dreams also dealt with similar the prevalent topic of polygamy and sex, so just keep in mind these are issues will come up quite often when watching shows or reading about this subject. I find it fascinating to learn more about this lifestyle and why people are attracted to it, but I do not support polygamy personally.

In first part of my series I am going to explain why I find Bill and his three wives very fascinating.

Bill Paxton As Bill Hendrickson:

I have found Bill Paxton to be handsome ever since he played Brock Lovett on Titanic. In every role that I have ever seen Paxton in has played self-assured characters that know how to deal with tumultous situations. In Big Love Bill Paxton does a great job of portraying Bill Hendrickson, who is a man that has the very stressful job of dealing with the demands of three wives and eight children. In the first season many joked about how most men would find polygamy to be a dream, but that is until they see all the demands Bill has to deal with. No one is going to feel sorry for Bill because he choose to marry three women of his own volition, but right away one will learn that in polygamous relationships men do not always wear the pants in the family. Bills's wives such as Margene demand that he spend quality time with her alone, and Nikki always wants enough money so she can indulge in shopping weakness.

Barb Hendrickson is Bill's first wife and she often test Bill about her distastifaction with polygamy. Bill was thrown off the Juniper Creek compund as a teenager and was forced to fend for himself on the streets. When he met Barb he believed in monogamy and the couple raised there first children in the Latter-Day Saints church. When Barb comes down with cancer Bill has an epihany and decides he believes in polygamy once more, so he decides to marry the woman Nikki that nursed his wife Barb back to health. I was always a little mystified about why Bill would decide to go back to the practice of polygamy when he had been thrown off the compound when he was a teen, but perhaps this shows how we are all drawn to teachings and influences of our youth. Bill's character seems to have been saddened by being thrown of the compound at a young age and knowing his family was deprived of the birthright to be leaders of cultish group at Juniper Creek. Even though Bill is modern businessman, he cannot seem to cut his ties with the cult and is constantly obsessed with struggling with power with Roman Grant, the so-called prophet of Juniper Creek.

Finally Bill decided in season two he no longer wanted to give Roman Grant fifteen percent of all his earnings on the Home Plus stores, so he decides to get into the gambling industry. Bill sees this as a business where his family can live more openly about their polygamous lifestyle, which is something they are not able to do in their mainstream LDS community. However, Bill points out to his wife Barb who at first has reservations about the morality of owning a gaming business that people in casinos would be in no place to judge them for their lifestyle.

Even though Bill is a polyamous he deals with many of the same issues that other men have. Bill has arguments with his wives and wishes his kids would listen to him more, but fails to realize that often his daughter Sarah is rebelling in her own little ways because she cannot stand his lifestyle. Bill's character is a very interesting portrait of a businessman that gets very little sleep and who is obsessed with achieving financial and spirituatl success for his family. We may not always agree with Bill's religious views, but overall we can see Bill is trying his best to do good by his family. His is a very unique character and not like anything I have ever seen, which is why I find him intriguing.

Jeanne Tripplehorn As Barbara Hendrickson:

Jeanne Tripplehorn is a very versatile actress that can play a variety of roles with ease and authenticity. I first remember Tripplehorn as playing Helen in Waterwold, which was a movie that I found to be about too much water and little on the ho hum side. However, I thought Tripplehorn did a good job in this movie and I have admired her acting abilities ever since. Jeanne plays Barbara Hendrickson on Big Love, who is the first wife and first love of Bill Hendrickson. Barb seems to be very unsecure in many ways and it seems she has allowed the love for her husband Bill to persuade her to enter polygamy.

Barb misses many things about their former life, such as being able to attend a regular LDS church and to participate in community events with lying about her marital status. In the first season Bill and Barb have an elicit affair because they were sleeping together on nights that belonged to the other wives. Personally I did not feel sorry for Barb because Bill is her husband and I can see how she wanted him back, but in the end she ends the affair because she realizes she cannot decide to enter polygamy and have monogamy too. During the second season Barb considers leaving Bill for awhile because she is not all so comfortable and happy with polygamy, but then she decides to stay because she realizes this is her true family. Barb's real family is a little fickle and has judged her severly for deciding the become a polygamous, whereas her new family unit accepts her for who she is and treats her with much more respect.

Barb is a woman I can both respect and feel a little sorry about. As time goes by Barb's character does a good job of standing up for herself when she sees Bill as stepping over the line, but ultimately I feel she has sold out to Bill. Her character deals with an issue that many real life woman go through of deciding to stay with a man when he has done things to let you down or violate your trust. Many monogamous women will put up with their husband having affairs to save their marriages, so in a way what Barb has done is not that all different. I do not feel completely sorry for her because she made the decision to stay with Bill, but it makes one wonder why a relationship is so important and one would be willing to keep it at all cost. This cannot be an easy role to play on any show, and for this reason I commend Tripplehorn for playing a character that is so multi-faceted.

Chloe Sevingy As Nicolette "Nikki" Grant:

Chloe Sevingy is an actress I was not familiar with until I saw Big Love in 2006, but since then I have seen her do well in several interesting roles movies such as The Zodiac. As the character Nikki I think Sevingy must have one of the hardest jobs of all because she is playing a woman that grew up in polygamy and who actually believes that plural marriage "the principal" is the divine way to Celestial Kingdom.  However, Nikki does not agree with ever practice of polygamy, and she will often do things such as stealing church tithe money from the compound to pay for her shopping habit. For instance in polygamy the FLDS believe that having as many children as possible well secure favor in heaven, but Nikki seem reticent to have more than two children unlike Barb who wanted more children, and Margene who is only in her twenties and already has three.

Nikki is also like many Americans because she is struggling with a shopping fetish. Part of me feels Nikki uses her obsession with shopping to mask her conflictual feelings reagarding polygamy, just as many of us use shopping as a temporary stress relief. Nicolette has raked up a large credit card debt and has kept it a secret from the rest of the family, which makes Bill really mad when he finds out. Part of me felt for Nicolette because I remember once having a credit card and having to pay it off, and I felt bad when Bill was so harsh on her about having debt. Yes it is only a show, but sometimes I find myself getting swept up in the characters and feeling for their plight. I do the same thing with books and this really irritates my sister, but I just cannot help it.

This season Nicolette says she is now working at a law firm so she can pay off her debt, but the real reason she is employed there is so she can spy on the team prosecuting her father, Roman Grant, on polygamy charges. Nikki seems to enjoy working and being away from the house, so the more I watch the show the more I see she felt polygamy was her choosen path in life, but that she is not always happy with being in this situation.

Ginnifer Goodwin As Margene Heffman:

Goodwin plays a cute and sweet young woman on the show Big Love . The character Margene is in her early twenties on the show, but in real life she is really thirty years. I am only sharing this detail because I am the same age as Ginnifer and I think she is a good actress to realisticly portraying someone several years younger than her because in interviews she seems very mature. I have not seen Ginnfer in any other movies, but she will be starring in the new comedy coming out in February based on the book and titled He's Just Not That Into You. I plan on going to see that movie because I enjoyed the book and from the previews Ginnifer seems to do well with silly as well as dramatic roles. In Big Love Ginnifer plays Margene and is the third wife that has already had three children. Growing up Magene's mom was an alcoholic that spent most of her time looking for new boyfriends, so as an adult woman she has married Bill and his family to find the love and security she never had as a child. I think many women can identify with this because there are cases where people marry for a feeling of love and security, although this may not be the most ideal situation. In Margene's case polygamy may suit her because she seems genuinely secure and happy, but I think this show helps people think about why they should not judge the relationship choices other women make. Yes people do not always make the best decisions regarding love, but it is revealing to consider why they may choose a situation we may or may not like in our own life.

In the first season Margene is very lonely and slightly jealous of the first and second wives being able to go to Juniper Creek when she is left at home to watch the kids. Originally Margene had been hired as Nikki's babysitter, but even now as the third wife she often feels she is destined to be the eternal babysitter. During the second season Margene seems to come alive when she discovers she likes being Bill's "public wife" when they go to set a deal for selling video poker machines to casinos in Nevada. However, Margene is quickly set back in the role of "secretary" when an old LDS friend of Bill's shows up at the hotel, which means Margene has to come to town to help him save face.

Margene does not allow this to set her back and decides to tell the casino owners that she is really Bill's mistress. Bill is slightly angered by Margene's spunk, so he decides to go over and let the owners know that Barb and Margene are really his wives. Margene is happy at least that Bill finally has the bravery to introduce her and Barb as his wives to the casino people. Nevertheless, Margene is still sad she often has to hide in the background and tells Barb she wants to be Bill's public wife when it comes to running the casino business. Barb seems some what okay with this because she is not happy about casinos, but she is still upset about being introduced as a polygamist family since she is not entirely comfortable with this role. Margene has only ever known security and stability in a polygamous family, so for her being a polygamist wife is both freedom and the ability to do well by her and her son.

Margene is constantly looking for new friends and support systems since she feels Nikki is too harsh on her not being a good spiritual wife, and because Barb tells her to take on more responsibility. When Bill starts dating a new potential fourth wife in season two Margene makes it her business to befriend Ana, and soon the two of them are carrying on a clandestine friendship.

Margene had cut off her friendship with the neighbor Pam during the first season because she was afraid they would find out her family was polygamist, but the latter tries to rekindle their ties. Margene is angry Barb told Pam that she is an unwed mother, so she decides to make up a story about being a surrogate mom for reproductively challenged couples. Pam soon requests that Margene will consider having a baby for her because she and her husband cannot conceive.

Barb decides to take Margene over to reveal to Pam that they are polygamist so there will be no misconceptions about the potential surrogacy. At the end of the second season Margene seems happy that Barb is finally letting people know about who they really are and that they love her, but she is also becoming more confident about her positin as a sister wife in the family. Nikki begins a new job at a legal firm, but Margene decides to make her late for work by making deals to sell poker machines to a local sport's bar. Although I love Margene's character and she is a very sweet person, but I feel this season she is being a little selfish because she is focusing on herself to much as with the babysitting situation. When Ana comes over to dinner only Barb tries to talk with her because Nikki and Margene are arguing about who should stay at home with the kids. Margene does seem to relent a little by admitting to Barb that right now she should just focus on being a mother because her children are still young, but in some ways I feel a little sorry takes Nikki for granted. Also, she considers Ana as a close friend and wants to make her part of the family, but as of episode three I see more of a true friendship forming between Barb and Ana. Margene sometimes strikes me as a lady who just wants what she wants and quickly changes her whims, but she is still young and this character trait illustrates how she has some growing up to do.