My bipolar activity did not appear to be present to me as a child. I began experiencing what I considered to be opposite moments of myself after I had a brain tumor removed in 1995. I remember thinking (and feeling) this was not me recovering from a brain removal surgery. It was someone like me, that looked like me, that sounded like me. Everything like me except the real me. I remember thinking I could take this information that somehow I had been made priviledged, and help someone work through this kind of readjustment back into life. The pain was insignificant. They had me on morphine so I was in la la land. The physical adjustment and therapy back into this world, now without my hearing was just some spacey feeling transition waiting to return to life as I had once known it. It is times like these we soon find out just how little control we do have. Memory impairment makes a specific rather difficult for me. As specific as I can be is desciptive. I can be on one tv channel and from nowhere someone changes the channel and I find myself in a whole new atmosphere of feelings and then ultimately actions. One word can cause a 360 degree role reversal. I wish I could be more specific. Then I could better explain it to the loved ones I inflict this on. I do know one thing that is crucial. Abilify is a dangerous drug to be the only choice. I have the permanent disabilities to prove it. I would tell anyone on medication therapy to read everthing before they put a single pill in their mouth. Also, other drugs can multiply the intensity of Abilify. Once you feel the paralysis , the numbness, the tingling, it could be too late. The medication insert says it may very likely be permanent and not to be played with. How true. Some feeling returned. I regained overall body strength. My weakness reached the point where I could not even turn myself over in bed. As my voice became weaker, my husband thought I was going to die.