Since its inception in 2004, over 800 hundred birds have been arrested for public defecation under the state’s controversial Bird Decency Act.

While initially praised for its progressive stance on animal autonomy, the act has since come under fire for its significant economic toll and contribution to prison overcrowding. This is unsurprising given that the rate for reoffence – almost 86 percent - is higher than that of any other crime.

Officer Max Kimble at Victoria’s first maximum security aviary says he is considering handing in his resignation after only six months of employment.

“It’s out of control. I’ve seen worse things here than I have at any other prison – weekly instances of stabbing, drug trafficking, rape - and when a prisoner leaves here, we don’t even bother clearing out his cell. Sometimes they’re back the same day.”

But most disconcerting, claims anti-BDA activist and tie-dye enthusiast Larry Backwaters, is the moral cost of imprisoning the birds.

“Well it’s a proven fact that increasing the criminalization of certain behavior increases the frequency of crime. Thus, if we decriminalized this behavior, as well as marijuana use, crime rates would go down significantly, resulting in a much safer community and a generally more chilled out vibe.”

But while it is clear that there is an overwhelming amount of support for the repeal of the act, political tensions have taken a back seat to public shock.

In an ironic twist of events Senator Ben Kingsley, chairman of the Office for the Protection of Public Welfare and a key proponent in the initiation of the act, was today prosecuted under the BDA.

“We were having dinner and we saw him watching a bird. The bird looked him right in the eye and started to defecate, and then he just went nuts”

The BDA was initially intended to apply only to defecation by a bird. However activists such as Charlie Peckingham pushed for equality in the rule.

“We couldn’t just sit back and let such injustice occur. While harsh penalties apply for the defecation of a bird onto a human, no provision applied to the opposite. We pushed hard, and after a lot of hard work we got what we asked for – justice”

“Today is our first victory under the provision; it pains me to think that Kingsley would have gotten away scot free if we hadn’t spoken up”

Kingsley was reportedly arrested while defecating on a bird, and was tried and prosecuted at the magistrates’ court this morning.

While the magistrate was mindful of the likelihood of harm to Senator Kingsley if sent to the maximum security aviary, he stated that he was bound by the legislation, which provides for a minimum penalty of ten days in the penitentiary for such a crime.

“I wouldn’t want to be him right now.” Said Officer Kimble, “Birds all over the place have got his picture on their cell walls, darts hanging out of them, I sure won’t be the man looking after him, I’ve got my kids to think about”

Kingsley is currently awaiting transport from the Remand Centre in Melbourne.