I ran into a friend this morning I hadn't seen in a long time. Cindy looked tired and stressed and was more then anxious to share. "I'm breaking up with my boyfriend today." She continued to tell me how she was too frustrated with this guy to continue her relationship. He had a consistent track record of being alarmingly dishonest. He lied about big things, small things, and everything in between. Cindy however, was heart broken. She felt like she'd invested so much in this relationship and in a lot of ways he was a great guy. When I asked her how long this had been going on she paused for a moment, as if to count the weeks, and then replied. "Since the very beginning, about eleven months."

Holy Hannah! Eleven months! Cindy laid out the story about how in the very beginning she didn't know for sure what was going on. However, within the first few weeks it wasn't hard to tell this man was pathological. Even though she knew this was inexcusable, as time went on she became more susceptible to his charm and wit. He was really smart, and really good to her kid and dog. She also knew how complicated his life was, and although that wasn't an excuse, it was in fact sometimes a "reason" for his dishonesty.

As I walked up the stairs to my office I contemplated my day. I also had to break up with someone today. Not my husband of course, or even a friend, but a technical subcontractor I'd been working with for ten months. Holy Hannah! Ten months!!! I laughed at myself as I thought about this mess. This guy simply did not follow through. Every time I was on the brink with him, he would tell me some wonderful thing, that would make me feel better. However, in the end nothing he said was true and he never followed through. If I was honest with myself, I'd have to say this had been going on since the beginning of our relationship. But, his life was complicated. His mother had been sick. His marriage was failing - go figure. Truth of the matter was simple. I should have ended it long, long, ago. However, much like Cindy, for some reason, I thought it was better to have a dysfunctional relationship with this guy, then be without him.

Breaking up is hard to do. However, the longer it goes on the harder it is. Whether you are leaving your lover or your hair dresser, ending a relationship is challenging. Almost all the time, the warning signs are there very early on, if not from day one. As time goes on, you get more attached to the bad situation. You may get more insight as to why the offending behavior is going on. You invest more - sometimes emotionally - in my case financially.

I intend to implement a new relationship strategy. Anytime I bring someone new into my life, for any role, large or small, I plan on instituting a probation period of no more then six weeks. If a relationship isn't going to work out, I will most likely know it in six weeks. If it's not a picture of perfection during that period of time, it's over. No questions asked. Why? Because I now have a standard of perfection in all my relationships - and - because breaking up is easier before strong bonds are developed. This inevitably happens with time.

I challenge you do to the same.

Now, wish me luck, because I've got some breaking up to do.