Hello, dear readers. I have once more decided to provide you with access to yet another opinion when it comes to relationship advice. However, THIS time I am going to tell you a little bit about a site dealing with breaking up with someone. I personally recall rarely if ever breaking up with a girl

when I was in my teens. Then again, I was often too busy with other pursuits to date too much in high school. (Someday maybe I'll tell y'all about the girl who often acted like a sister but kissed me like a girlfriend. Yes, I gave you a massage backstage and I regularly rape your mouth with my tongue but I don't want to date you.)

As an adult it was just a matter of making it clear that I didn't think there was anything to break up in the first place. If you don't think you are going to have that person for the rest of your

life then when he or she breaks up with you there will be less emotional nonsense. I think (if anything) I have once or twice used the 'stop seeing her' technique. If you ignore them they eventually get the idea.

The only trouble with THAT method is when you get busy in the real world (i.e. looking for a new job, visiting the

kids you have no custody of, taking care of the ones you do, working, writing to keep yourself from putting a gun to your head, just staying in and recharging your batteries because you actually WORK for a living or simply not calling her because you have money troubles so you can't pay for a date and your "inner-caveman" is keeping you from realizing it is 2009 and women can pay too) THEN a woman you don't really want to break up with will get the WRONG impression and you might accidentally "break up with" her too.

In general, I have almost always NOT been the one to initiate the break up.

I am way too sweet, shy and innocent to break up with anyone for the most part. Can anyone out there really believe anyone would break up with little ol' me? Shocking, huh?

"Do you really want to hurt me? Do you really want to make me cry?"--Culture Club

(Usually when a woman is seeing me I worship her from the top of her pointy head down to her slightly sweaty and aromatic toes. I mean I will kneel down naked and worship her BUT, I digress . . . )

Here is a site I ran across that specializes in assisting with break ups. If she pesters you more than she puts out anymore, check out this site. Ladies, if he won't go down on you when you give him more "head" than Two-Face's trademark coin, then YOU need to visit this site, too.

I know everything isn't about sex BUT be real! Ghosts, souls and rotting

corpses don't make love so this one is the most obvious. Besides, having the word sex in your hubs doesn't hurt. (Well, it MIGHT if the wrong "supposedly- not-prudish-yet-judgmental-busybody-HUB PAGES ASKED-ME-TO-DO-THEIR-JOB-FOR-FREE-e-bay whore" flags or reports your hub BUT other than that it doesn't truly hurt anything.)

Y'all can talk about other reasons to break up in one of those "boring-how-could -they-ever-get-such-a-high-score" hubs. Mine might not all be as exciting as a plain-jane librarian discovering how else a removable shower head can be used BUT I at least TRY to be entertaining. You may sometimes think I'm writing about something that's a little silly BUT I won't ever assume you're stupid.

I mean, hell, if you don't know how to use a credit card or void a check and

think that there is an easy way to get rich online or you can easily lose weight by reading a hub then I have no clue how you even managed to get online UNLESS your local library has some really helpful employees in their computer labs.

I might have to lovingly straighten out a few women once in awhile but I don't treat my readers like idiots. (I DO sometimes make a mistake and assume everyone out there actually has a sense of humor. BUT, I digress . . . again!)

Sometimes I rant so much I want to break up with myself. (Then I remember how much of a slut I am and how I can do these incredible, nasty things to really get me off and I decide to take the good with the bad.)

Someday my kids are going to read this sh*t so I hope you are at least grinning to yourself. Now read about this website and give me a few moments alone, okay?

(I haven't seen myself in days and I miss me.)

"The problem is all inside your head, she said to me,
The answer is easy if you take it logically,
I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free,
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover" -- "50 Ways To Leave Your Lover" by Paul Simon

Breakupsmadesimple.com is a website about ending relationships It includes posts on children of divorce, dealing with a breakup, relationship advice and more.

One of the most recent writings includes an article on "some of the worst ways to break up". The author begins by speaking about people who are "wishy-washy" about their desire to end relationships. The chronicle continues noting that doing things such as breaking up on major

holidays and running through a "laundry list" of the shortcomings of your partner are both emotionally devastating actions.

Finally, the writer reminds us that simply ignoring someone can be "the most inhumane thing you can do to another person" and suggests that if you choose to break up with someone that you first consider how you would feel if the situation was reversed.

So if your relationship is at the "End Of The Road" and you "Hurt So Bad" perhaps you should "Hit The Road Jack" and visit breakupsmadesimple.com.

As always, I welcome your opinions of websites I share with you here. As I said before, I haven't done a lot of breaking up with anyone but from the way a few of you women here flirt I figure it's only a matter of time before

y'all need this site.

(Maybe I better see if I can review a website that sells cheap airfare to my town, too, huh? )

I know, I know, that's so terrible to talk like that. It's just something that none of us can truly explain to our significant others here in the real world.

You know what they say, "there's nothing like hub love".

My name is Phoenix and . . . I just stole a line from Mighty Mom.

Oops!

Sorry.

My name is Phoenix and . . . that's the bottom line.