In Britain, for the customers of Marks & Spencer, it was not really necessary, until last week, to learn the alphabet beyond the letter "D". Taking advantage of its popularity and its product range, M & S had decided to add a surcharge of up to €2.25 (approx $3 and £2 mid-June 2009) onto the price of its bras sized from an E cup and larger. The management justified this decision by quoting the increased cost of manufacturing large underwear.

To be fair to M & S this is commercial policy is widely practiced in this niche market. In France, online sites generally apply a surcharge of €3 to €4 for similar products.

In Britain, this marketing decision has been regarded as a major error and has lost M&S the custom of Beckie Williams who has bought her underwear from the store for years. Her first response to the imposition of the surcharge was to request the restoration of a single price for the same model of bra irrespective of size. This was refused by M&S. Williams then collected 17,000 signatures of fellows protestors on her FaceBook Page - Busts 4 Justice. She also bought a share in M & S so that she would have the right to question the president of the company during the general meeting of shareholders.

Faced with pressure from the media and for fear of a deterioration of its image after being accused of "blatant discrimination" (and, perhaps, fear of being scorned), Marks and Spencers has given way to the demands of its clients. With some grace and humour, it has to be said, the company published a full page advertisement in the British press, with the slogan "We Boobed".

Watch Sir Stuart Rose, the boss of Marks and Spencer give into bra campaigner Beckie Williams on TV (video, right)

I had fun translating this slogan for my French friends and explaining the word play in the double meaning of "boob" - "mistake" and "breast".

This being France, and in spite of what ever the bra cup in question was at the beginning of all this, we got into a philosophical discussion about how English slang for breasts is a lot less rich that the French slang for same. But really, should this be a surprise in the country of Rabelais?

Many current French slang terms for breast (Fr: "sein" - a masculin noun ........) belong, like the English slang "boobs", "knockers" and "titties" to the language of childhood - "doudounes", "loches", "lolos", "nénés", "nibards", "roberts", "roploplo"s to give just a few.

Others are now rarely used or have fallen into disuse and yet they are interesting in that they illustrate in a most interesting manner the complex relationship or the fun connection between the signifier and the signified.

Thus "bossoirs" another masculin noun meaning "davits", a marine term referring to, according to the classic French dictionary, the "Littré" (1956 edition), "each of the two large pieces of wood used to suspend and to hoist the anchor." The Navy provides further imagery words for "breasts", such as "flotteurs" (floats), "bouées" (buoys), "avant-postes" (outpost or vanguard). More rarely there is "médailles de sauvetage", (life-saving medals) and "gardes-côtes" (coast guard).

Then there are theatrical influences - "le balcon" (the balcony) "les avant-scènes", (the front stage); botanical influences - "melons" (yup, same as the English melons), "noix de coco" (coconuts), "pamplemousses" (grapefruits), "pastèques" (watermelons) and "pommes de Vénus" (apples of Venus); geographraphical terms "globes" (globes), "mappemondes" (maps) and "monts" (mountains); from science and technology come "montgolfières" (mounds/hillocks), "obus" ( (military) shells) and "pare-chocs" (bumpers).

With reference to their reading prowess French men have been known to give each breast its own name, as in "Porthos and Athos" (it has been said that Alexander Dumas, a great lover of women, used this term for breasts himself after creating his characters). Oddly - unless it is of a reference to baldness (breasts being notably as bald as a bald man's head .... ???) "the Brothers Karamazov" (Yeah, I know...... I argued that to use that term is just some guy showing off that he's read Dostoyevsky, but they insisted that it was not so ....... and, of course they'd read Dostoyevsky. Naturellement ....)

We also noted during the course of our philosphical debate that the slang in a living language is enriched over the centuries by the introduction of new words which reflect the changes in society and technology. For example, "airbags" - for which the French don't yet have a word of their own (this pee'd my friends off somewhat).

Gomez treats breasts as if they had a life of their own. he represents them in a series of lyrical vignettes titled "The Best of Breasts", "The Inquisitor's Wife's Breasts", "The Breast Which Called Me From Behind", "Breasts of Andalucia", "A Duel Over Breasts", "Breasts On The Beach", "The Breasts of the Woman with a Flat Nose", "False Breasts", "Tasty Breasts", "Circus Breasts", "Breasts in Art", "The Small French Breasts", "Tatooed Breasts" (Teresa !), "Stupid Breasts", "A Seller of Breasts in the East", "Breasts that Look at Themselves in the Mirror", and so on and so forth - 130 short variations on the same theme.

As an early proponent of surrealism Gómez favoured incongrous alliances : the breasts in his tales find themselves in surprising situations. For example, on a hermaphrodite's body or in a reliquary. They may be called upon to appear uncovered at night on a balcony, so that the author can see them from the window of his appartment. They may be presented to a "collector of breasts" so as to receive a certificate declaring that they are "delicate and opulet ... luminous ... pure and beautiful". As a festish they represent a feminine essence that Gómez can never get enough of. Sacred, maternal, fundamentally erotic, breasts offer him "life preservers against death".

His breast fetish aside I was really pleased to be introduced Gómez's work. It is an injustice that he is not better known as one of the greatest writers of the 20th century, along with James Joyce and Marcel Proust. I am still studying him and trying to get hold of more of his work in French but it is already evident to me that few authors have left to posterity such ironic and unashamedly "insolent" writings attacking the bourgeoisie. He was quite something - he wrote aphorisms, epigrams, maxims ("greguerias") all aimed at the hypocrisies (tartufferies in French - isn't that a fantastic word ?) of his time - the taboos, the dogmas, religious zealotry and the yoke of social conventions.

In the prologue to "Breasts" Gomez defines his approach to the subject while denouncing the ever-present hypocrisies in this delightful manner :

"This book is not a pornographic book. It contains no obscenity but serenity, sensitive serenity, and a quiet smiling contemplation of the spectacle of countless breasts as seen in the orchard of life. ... My book will satisfy neither the dirty old men nor the hypocritical judges of baseness; nor those who lock themselves in their bedroom to read pornographic books; nor the false priests who, as Carlyle said, are what is most wrong in the world. They will treat me, however, as a pornographer, because they will be annoyed to see their solitary pleasure spoiled by all that is thoughtful, tragic and silent in my prose."