Oh god the many mistakes I made along the way, I always thought I would Know what to do when I had a baby after all I was 3^rd eldest of 7 had looked after my brothers, changed them, bathed them ,and put them to bed ,so what could be so hard with my own child ?.

I had this little person whom I loved dearly so why couldn’t I cope, why was I always in tears, when I should have been so happy, why did I come so close so many times to hurting him.?

I felt a failure as I couldn’t even have him naturally I had to have a C section.

I felt my father was right I couldn’t do anything right.

The one thing that I was able to do was rely on my Mother-in-Law she lived in the flat down stairs and she always seemed to know when I needed help and she would come and take bubs for an hour or 2 so at least I could have a break.

Well I didn’t know anything about Post Natal Depression in fact nobody would even acknowledge it was a problem it didn’t even have a name then. Today there is recognition that Mothers can suffer some so much worse than other.I got through it and didn't suffer as bad with the next two babies, my kids all turned out ok but my first born suffers depression and I sometimes wonder if its because I couldn't cope.

What I discovered last year was that my Grandmother also suffered with Post Natal Depression with each of her children but what happened then was the babies were taken by Aunts until she was able to cope and in some cases were not returned for up to 2 years. The mothers of today at least know what the problem is and can get help very early we know the symptoms.

• Blaming yourself and a feeling of insecurity
• Feeling at risk of harming yourself and your baby
• Being unable to bond with your baby
• Lethargy, exhaustion, anxiety and panic attacks
• Feeling unable to perform everyday tasks.
• looking after yourself and the baby may seem impossible.
• A sense of isolation from your partner, friends and family
• Feeling a failure

You do not have to feel alone, there is help and hope Adjusting to life as a new mother can be difficult. In fact, for many women, a new baby is the most significant life-changing event they will ever experience. Adjusting to this major life change, as well as coping with the day to day stress of a new baby, can make some women more likely to experience depression, particularly if they have experienced depression in the past.

It is important to seek help, see your Doctor or a qualified health professional, while reaching out during this time may be difficult, many women find that making the effort can make the difference.

Make some me time, do the things you enjoy like reading a book, scrapbooking, arts & crafts or just listening to music. Know you are not alone.

Seek friendships with other women who have just had babies.

Organize childcare ask friends or family to look after the Baby occasionally to allow for time out you really do need that sometimes.

Don’t bottle things up discuss feelings with a partner, family member or friend Sit down and talk about the things that are difficult and try to reach a solution.

Don't be afraid to call a support service line if things are getting too tough for you to handle.

Today there is a lot more help and understanding out there when it comes to Postnatal Depression so when you need help ask for it.