Bristol Palin, Sarah Palin’s daughter, recently talked to Fox News about her baby and being pregnant while a teenager. Although she said she wished she would have waited ten years to have a kid she seemed to say that abstinence-only sex education is not realistic. This got me thinking, which can be dangerous. Teens are dating and are going to have sex. Teens are also going to drive. We need to teach kids how to do both safely. Hummmm. I can’t wait to see where this leads.

If we took the same approach to driver’s ed that we take with sex ed maybe the roads would be safer. Maybe not. Let’s see.

First of all we would let kids know that they should have a driver license before they drive. The state wants to assure all its citizens that the drivers on the road are competent. These drivers are in control of 3000 pounds of steel, glass, rubber and plastic with enough inertia to break a utility pole if one got in their way. It is reasonable to assume though that some will not wait for a license and will begin to drive before it is legal to do so. So as to not damage their self esteem or step on their belief system we must not tell them it is wrong to drive without a license. It is best to have one but if you choose not to wait it’s ok, we still love you.

Second, we should teach kids that the laws of the road were put in place three or four generations ago. The rules worked well for them but the rules don’t need to apply to you. If you don’t believe in using your turn signal in advance to warn other drivers of your intentions to turn or change lanes it’s ok. If they get offended at your style they just need to get over it. But if being courteous and polite on the road is where you are at in your journey in life then by all means do so. It’s ok to follow the rules if you want to. Just don’t expect others to. Like the speed limit for example. In general if you drive slower than most, drive in the right lane. If you drive faster than most then drive in the left lane. And watch out for those slow people, their old fashioned driving habits will get in your way. You will notice that many people choose to drive at or around the speed limit as posted on those occasional signs. The speed limit was set by old people who get disorientated at higher speeds or have some religion that tells them to drive slowly. You can obey the speed limit if you want to but since we know most of you won’t we recommend that you make sure your tires are in good shape and properly inflated. That way you can stay in control of the situation. Is this enough? Not quite. We need to talk about consequences.

Third, we know that many kids will have sex before marriage. Oops, I mean: Many kids will drive with no regard for the law. We know that kids will drive fast so we need to protect them from the consequences. They need a reliable, anonymous source for radar detectors. The police are too concerned with the minor infractions. They should only be arresting Congressmen who vote to spend our kid’s money then fly out of the country on vacation the next day. Kids who speed need affordable radar detectors, possibly given free to low income families. They also need a few “Get out of jail free” cards. Just take them from the Monopoly games and have the government pay any lawyer that is needed to get them out of the situation. And every nine months their driving record should be cleared. Why should a kid have the consequences of his actions following him around for eighteen years?

Can we really teach the rules of the road to kids and expect them to obey them? Are we too idealistic if we think that people should take responsibility for their actions? Should we teach kids the right way to drive and teach them ways to get around the rules? If we give up teaching the rules at all because we figure they won’t obey them what chance does the next generation have at surviving the driving habits they develop?

There is a 13 year old boy who has become a father. His voice hasn’t even changed yet. He looks like a nine year old, an older brother to the baby. I think the lack of education is one issue. The lack of morality is another issue. There has to be balance. Teach kids the rules of the road. Teach them all the reasons to follow the rules including what happens when you don’t. Expect them to do what’s right. Set your standards high. Hold them accountable when they choose poorly. Love them regardless what they do. These suggestions work well for driving and for sex. Or, to abbreviate: sex drive.

Hopefully you have enjoyed my satire. Sometimes I think outside the box. If you like the way I write you may want to do your homework and check out my blog. Have a great day, and for your own safety, follow the rules of the road.