How to Handle the Office Bully and Abuse

Although many workers report that they have been bullied at work, other individuals may not know what bullying includes or how to recognize it when it occurs. Overall, bullying creates a hostile work environment and this uncomfortable work atmosphere is against EEO requirement and can be reported in an official complain. Equal numbers of men and woman become bullies in the workplace, so it is not just men and not just women that might abuse an employee.

One hallmark of bullying in the workplace is that a talented, competent employee is the one that is usually bullied, rather than someone that does a mediocre or bad job. A talented, skillful individual is a threat to the bully.

Red Flags to look for:

Good workers are being constantly criticized, having their job responsibilities taken away, or being assigned meaningless, made-up tasks or "busy work" to perform on a daily basis. Some of these employees are given nothing to do at all and then written up for not doing anything. This is bullying and abuse.

A supervisor constantly yells at workers.

A supervisor or coworker picks on the same people in front of others or in private where there are no witnesses.

A boss constantly blocks someone's promotions.

A supervisor sabotages an employees work or claims it as his own.

A boss, supervisor, or coworkers deliberately ignore certain individuals at work and put them "out of the loop."

A supervisor overloads employees and sets unreasonable deadlines.

A supervisor attacks a worker personally and name-calls.

A boss, supervisor or coworkers make jokes about an employee.

A boss or supervisors give an employee equipment that does not work, such as the oldest computer in the building and it is broken.

Bullying causes increased feelings of stress and tension in the body anca can lead to clinical indications of :

• anxiety,
• weight gain (Even if you don't eat more!),
• headaches,
• backaches,
• nausea,
• ulcers,
• insomnia,
• over sleeping,
• nightmares,
• skin rashes,
• diahrrea,
• irritable bowel syndrome,
• high blood pressure,
• depression,
• low self-confidence,
• organ involvement of kidneys and heart,
• suicidal ideation (thoughts of suicide)

A total of at least 44% of all Americans have reported that they have experienced abuse in the workplace.

This figure was reported from a study completed by the Employment Law Alliance. It is a shocking fact that nearly half of all American workers report that they have been abused at work. This does not include the number of American workers that are afraid to report it and do not tell anyone about it.

It is impossible to know just how many people in the US are abused on the job each year, becuase not everyone reports it; but whatever the number is, it is too high.

In order to lower these numbers, people need to learn what exactly abuse entails and that there are various ways to prevent it and to stop it. I believe is begins with education in the home, followed by education and practice at school, and should include not only any-sexual-harassment training in the workplace, but anti-bully and anti-abuse training on the job for everyone as well.

We as a country and as individuals must take the existence of abuse extremely seriously. It does occur and it does happen in the workplace.

Many of people that suffer abuse at work simply choose to quit and escape the menace and the stress, but not everyone feels that they are able to do that. For those who can't escape an abusive boos or coworkers, start with these principles:

1. Know and believe this -

Abusive behavior from your boss, a coworker, or anyone else is not your fault. Ever! It's not even about you - It's about control, just like rape. The target could be anyone. There was one before you and there will be one after you unless something is done to break the cycle and stop the abusive behavior.

No one deserves abuse at any time for any reason. Abuse is an inappropriate reaction. If you have done something wrong at work, you can expect to be corrected and perhaps even disciplined and after a prescribed number of write-ups or other disciplinary actions, even fired. However, you do not deserve to be abused. This abuse includes yelling, hitting, shunning, belittling, sarcasm, name calling, and other inappropriate actions.

If you are the victim of a workplace tyrant, it's easy to internalize blame and feel helpless. But falling into this negativity trap can take its toll on your health and self-esteem.

Try using a Mental Bank account to build yourself up. Mentally vaccinate yourself against the office bully with affirmations and positive self talk. Tell yourself that you are a good person and will continue to do a good job while you look for away out. You job is not who your are, so take up some hobbies if you don't have any. Make sure that work is just part of your day, not your whole day.

2. Insanity is doing the same thing every time and expecting a different result. Stop it!

You cannot change a bully, ever. Only she/he can change himself, short of good therapy or a miracle from God. Keeping an upbeat attitude will get old under the constant haranguing of a bully. Just hoping the office bully will change is hopeless. Accept the fact of the abuse and make plans to address it or quit and address it.

3. Find some good friends that build you up.

Talk about the abuse with sympathetic people at work. Mutual support and communication can help reduce stress and stop the isolation that your abuser wants to you suffer. Don't just complain - get support and go to Human Resources and/or your Employee Assistance Program. Get counseling and file an EEO complaint if the abusive situation is not remedied.

4. Learn Verbal Self Defense and Assertiveness Training Skills.

Your EAP or local YMCA, YWCA, Recreation Centers, or Mental Health network can help you locate free and low-cost classes for these remarkable and useful skills.

5. Quit and file EEO charges.

For me, it is better to live in a cardboard box on the street that to accept abuse!

If everyone I know were to become abusive, then I like myself well enough to be alone and I can find new employment.You have to believe in yourself, even when no one else does.

A lot of help exists for those who have experienced such abuse that they must quit. Call your local social services or court related agencies for a list of organizations that will help. You may be able to receive unemployment benefits.