How to Handle the Office Bully and Abuse
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Although many workers report that they have been bullied at work, other individuals may not know what bullying includes or how to recognize it when it occurs. Overall, bullying creates a hostile work environment and this uncomfortable work atmosphere is against EEO requirement and can be reported in an official complain. Equal numbers of men and woman become bullies in the workplace, so it is not just men and not just women that might abuse an employee.
One hallmark of bullying in the workplace is that a talented, competent employee is the one that is usually bullied, rather than someone that does a mediocre or bad job. A talented, skillful individual is a threat to the bully.
Red Flags to look for:
Good workers are being constantly criticized, having their job responsibilities taken away, or being assigned meaningless, made-up tasks or "busy work" to perform on a daily basis. Some of these employees are given nothing to do at all and then written up for not doing anything. This is bullying and abuse.
A supervisor constantly yells at workers.
A supervisor or coworker picks on the same people in front of others or in private where there are no witnesses.
A boss constantly blocks someone's promotions.
A supervisor sabotages an employees work or claims it as his own.
A boss, supervisor, or coworkers deliberately ignore certain individuals at work and put them "out of the loop."
A supervisor overloads employees and sets unreasonable deadlines.
A supervisor attacks a worker personally and name-calls.
A boss, supervisor or coworkers make jokes about an employee.
A boss or supervisors give an employee equipment that does not work, such as the oldest computer in the building and it is broken.
Bullying Will Make You Sick
Bullying causes increased feelings of stress and tension in the body anca can lead to clinical indications of :
- anxiety,
- weight gain (Even if you don't eat more!),
- headaches,
- backaches,
- nausea,
- ulcers,
- insomnia,
- over sleeping,
- nightmares,
- skin rashes,
- diahrrea,
- irritable bowel syndrome,
- high blood pressure,
- depression,
- low self-confidence,
- organ involvement of kidneys and heart,
- suicidal ideation (thoughts of suicide)
How to Handle Bullying in the Workplace
A total of at least 44% of all Americans have reported that they have experienced abuse in the workplace.
This figure was reported from a study completed by the Employment Law Alliance. It is a shocking fact that nearly half of all American workers report that they have been abused at work. This does not include the number of American workers that are afraid to report it and do not tell anyone about it.
It is impossible to know just how many people in the US are abused on the job each year, becuase not everyone reports it; but whatever the number is, it is too high.
In order to lower these numbers, people need to learn what exactly abuse entails and that there are various ways to prevent it and to stop it. I believe is begins with education in the home, followed by education and practice at school, and should include not only any-sexual-harassment training in the workplace, but anti-bully and anti-abuse training on the job for everyone as well.
We as a country and as individuals must take the existence of abuse extremely seriously. It does occur and it does happen in the workplace.
Many of people that suffer abuse at work simply choose to quit and escape the menace and the stress, but not everyone feels that they are able to do that. For those who can't escape an abusive boos or coworkers, start with these principles:
1. Know and believe this -
Abusive behavior from your boss, a coworker, or anyone else is not your fault. Ever! It's not even about you - It's about control, just like rape. The target could be anyone. There was one before you and there will be one after you unless something is done to break the cycle and stop the abusive behavior.
No one deserves abuse at any time for any reason. Abuse is an inappropriate reaction. If you have done something wrong at work, you can expect to be corrected and perhaps even disciplined and after a prescribed number of write-ups or other disciplinary actions, even fired. However, you do not deserve to be abused. This abuse includes yelling, hitting, shunning, belittling, sarcasm, name calling, and other inappropriate actions.
If you are the victim of a workplace tyrant, it's easy to internalize blame and feel helpless. But falling into this negativity trap can take its toll on your health and self-esteem.
Try using a Mental Bank account to build yourself up. Mentally vaccinate yourself against the office bully with affirmations and positive self talk. Tell yourself that you are a good person and will continue to do a good job while you look for away out. You job is not who your are, so take up some hobbies if you don't have any. Make sure that work is just part of your day, not your whole day.
- Abuse (Bullying) is a Major Cause of Divorce
- How to Escape Abusive Relationships
Escape abusive relationships wherever they are - at home, at work, in church, or anywhere else. - What is Child Abuse?
Preventing child abuse will help prevent bullying in the office and other workplaces.
2. Insanity is doing the same thing every time and expecting a different result. Stop it!
You cannot change a bully, ever. Only she/he can change himself, short of good therapy or a miracle from God. Keeping an upbeat attitude will get old under the constant haranguing of a bully. Just hoping the office bully will change is hopeless. Accept the fact of the abuse and make plans to address it or quit and address it.
3. Find some good friends that build you up.
Talk about the abuse with sympathetic people at work. Mutual support and communication can help reduce stress and stop the isolation that your abuser wants to you suffer. Don't just complain - get support and go to Human Resources and/or your Employee Assistance Program. Get counseling and file an EEO complaint if the abusive situation is not remedied.
4. Learn Verbal Self Defense and Assertiveness Training Skills.
Your EAP or local YMCA, YWCA, Recreation Centers, or Mental Health network can help you locate free and low-cost classes for these remarkable and useful skills.
5. Quit and file EEO charges.
For me, it is better to live in a cardboard box on the street that to accept abuse!
If everyone I know were to become abusive, then I like myself well enough to be alone and I can find new employment.You have to believe in yourself, even when no one else does.
A lot of help exists for those who have experienced such abuse that they must quit. Call your local social services or court related agencies for a list of organizations that will help. You may be able to receive unemployment benefits.
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Comments
Call it whatever you want in order to persuade people to take action and talk to others about it. The Bully B'ware program has great success all over Canada and in parts of the US as the stand against bullying and abuse. Start an Office Abuse support group in your town at a church or recreation center, or even your home.
I was out of work as a result of office abuse or bullying from the lead psychologist in a private practice a few years ago. I was able to collect unemployment benefits for it, so I hope you have been able to collect these benefits. If not, please apply and tell the Unemployment Office everything. Abuse can make you sick, so make them understand that. Go on TV if you must and tell your story. File an EEO report if you have not done so.
When I filed a report, it was found that this person had not filed or paid taxes in over 15 years, had not paid his workers compensation premiums, his unemployment insurance payments or anythings else. He was also a slum landlord that never did repairs. He was charged on several counts.
Thank you both for these comments. It's something to think about. The first workshop I ever heard on this topic was called "Dealing with Difficult People" and I thought a stronger term was needed, myself. Then it was "bully" and then "abuse." It is definitely a better approach to refer to "victims" as "targets, instead, imo. Victim mentality is not good.
Thanks again.
what is the statute in the EEOC which regards bullying as a violation of rights. All I find are sexual harassment related cases. I have experienced a women as the bully toward me, another woman. I fought and was reassigned. I refused to quit. In the last 1 1/2 years, three other co-workers have come to me crying because of this same person. She was even promoted. How can I advise others of what to do--exact wording of the law being broken?
Elaine, EEOC may differ according to the state in which you work, so you need to look up your state's EEOC laws online and/or call the EEOC office for a copy. I'm not a lawyer, but depending on what specifically is occurring, you all may have grounds for a lawsuit for discrimination on the basis of same-sex/gender harassment, but you need to ask an attorney. A woman harrassing other women to keep them down while seeking promotion for herself is bad. Her behavior might also qualify for an assault charge in your state. Ask an attorney. IN my state, prank phone calls are "simple assault" and punsihable with fins and even jail time.
Have you gone through channels of complainikng to your supervisor and HR department and filing a grievance. Haraasment is harrassment and it makes a hostile workplace. You might all get together and even file a class actionm suit against the company and the indidivual, but seek an attorney's advise.
Much success to you!
EEOC - WHAT A JOKE. I work for a hostile, verbally abusive lawyer. He throws things, slams doors, (check my hub for more details) but I am haing a hard time. Everyone in my office told me to go to EEOC so Yesterday I went down to the Memphis EEOC office. Told them the situation, told them I tried everything with this man even to the point of apologizing when the verbal abuse got so bad....Guess what.....Since he treats EVERY PERSON THAT WORKS FOR HIM THE SAME WAY....he is protected. I told them I was scared he would get so mad (he is a hunter) he could possibly shoot me...and they said "well, then you would have a case for the police". There is absolutely nothing that can be done. he can continue to verbally abuse me as much as he wants. He can even aim a gunat me, miss me, then say "you're fired". Had a panic attack yesterday and left (before he came in). I start shaking just driving into the parking garage. WHAT ON EARTH DOES ONE DO? I'm looking for another job. I HAVE to work...HAVE to pay bills....and every law firm I talk to says the same thing..."the economy is so bad there are no openings....people just aren't moving"......I told our office manager and the manager in the Main Office I would file an internal complaint because the abuse is so bad I can't even get my work done......EEOC Told me that to have a case he would need to supervise ...say 3 people.....treat 2 of them well and then treat 1 (me) badly.....Since this is NOT the case and he treats EVERYONE this way.....They won't even investigate. Comments? I'm doing tons of legal research trying to find some avenue other than EEOC but ...... I'm female, over 40, catholic, not gay and don't fit ANY category of EEOC discrimination. HELP!EEOC told me that even if I file an "internal" complaint....more than likely nothing will be done (even though our firm supposedly has a "zero tolerance for abusive behavior") because this man is a money maker. His billing rate is over $400 an hour. He makes money for the firm...the firm won't touch him...and he KNOWS IT.
I'll tell you what my local EEOC people and my attorneys say about "I'm female, over 40, catholic, not gay and don't fit ANY category of EEOC discrimination..."and about - he abuses everyone, they cannot do anything.
My contacts state that 1) female and 2) over-40 are protected groups. Further, treating all subordinates abusively is still discriminating against everyone with abuse. You might file a class action suit - and class action can start with ONE person. You could possibly file assault charges for his slamming, throwing, and creating a hostile work environment, depending on your city laws.
File an official complaint on the proper EEOC complaint forms for your county/state and keep a copy of that. Start a detailed JOURNAL of the abusive and discriminatory behavior. See your doctor and have it in your record the emotional pain and the physical affects of the stress this is causing you; plus, it will give you someone to talk to. If you have no doctor, go to the local free clinic; they will help. Go to the local Domestic Violence Center; they can help you with information and how to navigate abuse and abuse complaint systems.
You may be able to sue the company and the individual doing the abuse. See an attorney. This has been successful in similar cases here.
Call the media. They'd love a story like this. If you are fired for being a whistle blower, that is also illegal. See an attorney first.
So, if the firm won't touch him, you will need legal help and then you may be able touch them both. Meanwhile, keep looking for another job.
Once case in Nevada received an $80,000 court award 10 years ago, kept their job, and the abuser was fired as well.
Since you work for an attorney, you might see a lawyer from a rival firm so that no one finds out about it in your own office, and to have the advantage that another firm may wish to being to light the bad behavior of your firm.
Best of success to you in this.
It's most unfortunate when anyone has to face each day being silently tormented. My daughter knows her job well, works very hard, is always on time, goes the extra mile and gets along well with everyone but her supervisor simply does not like her. She is constantly doing hurtful things but she does them in a way that others will not notice. My daughter is doing her best to avoid this woman or to protect herself from her "hidden" harrassment by only speaking to her when necessary and making sure that she does so when others are nearby. It's just a shame that there are such hateful people who find joy in ruining the lives of other people especially for no apparent reason. These kinds of people have no business working in a management position, using their power against innocent human beings and getting away with it.
Indeed correct.
If your daughter begins to keep a daily written log of events at work, particularly these hidden abuses, they will no longer be so hidden in that she can show a lawyer that will give her a free first visit and may take the case oncontingency. If your daughter and the supervisor are different in race or sexual orientation or age range, or religious denomination (and this has been made evident) then the abuses are more definitely breaking of EEO laws. Jealous or abusevide supervisors can be stopped, but you may have to take it to the state. See your State's local EEO page for the right procedure in your state.
I feel that these abusive superviros have a mental illness and should not be in positions of power over people in any venue, because power is like an aphrodisiac and a drug to them. Some of them were abused themselves, others learned it by watching abusive managers and thinking this was something "good." Some of it is still a society in which from 1900 - 1950 at least and longer, hitting or undermining someone on the stage or in movies an dcartoons has been considered comedy. It's a big ball of barbed wire.
Miserable angry insecure immature people, that's all they are, they're unhappy with their own lives and want to drag others with them. I've had LOTS of jobs like that. When I got the job I have now, I was/am so ecstatic that my boss is my best cheerleader and so kind and patient. I am, however, dealing with a co-worker that has issues and thinks the only way to get things done is to be hateful, but that will resolve itself; she works for the company next door in the same building and the company is in the process of closing. The best thing? Don't let them see that they get under your skin. You will be an easy target. I still don't understand why people bring their selfish, immature, hateful, ignorant and childish attitudes to work, you'd think that when we grow up, our minds would too. It isn't high school anymore! lol Take care, you guys, God bless.
Thanks, catera OKC. The best of success to you at work!
Patty
I am also in office abusive situation, it is not even superior but act more than superior, she bullies me to do her work, becoming her servant, need to post mail, become her messenger, and she voice it out so rudely, shouted at me to do things for her, and if i am busy she find it all ways to see that i do it immeditely, and shewill attack me if its not done, she is not my superior at all, she love to bang things, to make commotion when next to me, bang the cabinet, places to scare me, when she talk, she will shout at me. it is abusive language.
I would tape record a few days of this unaccaptable behavior, making sure to yourself state the exact date on each day's recording. Then take the tape to the personnel or HR department, file a formal complaint and request official action. If they do nothing, I would continue to tape record the unacceptale behavior and call the police when she bangs and shouts, and then file an assault charge.
Please talk to your personnel department about this person and see what they say. Let us know.
I have a problem at church. There someone at work who came to me asking if I forgave him. I could not remember who he was. He immediately belittled me and accused me. Last week I remembered him. He was in church in another place many years earlier. He bullied me then too. Our paths cross from time to time. What can I do?
Talk to your pastor about his situation. Also, if the man is trying to make amends, it is a good thing. But if he is fooling you in order to hurt you again, disengage by telling him to stay away from you and then ignore him. Talk to the pastor first.
BUT - If he escalates behavior at church, then he will be the foolish one. This is what Turn The Other Cheek really means - the custom in Old Testament times was when a man hit you, the next thing he would likely do (if you did nto strike back) would be to backhand you with the same hand, which was a disgrace to homeself and onlookers called him a fool.
Let me know the outcome, please.
Patty
I co-worker and I had a misunderstanding regarding the intent of my advice. I am a register nurse she is a LPN I tried to protect her and her license by bringing to her attention to work with in our scope of practice. To make a long story short she has held a grude against me and it has snow balled. Forget taking it to the administrator he just dismissed it and the abuse has been continuing and is becoming worse by involing others on my floor. What are my legal rights and how do I prove what is going on when most of it is mind games.
You have a higher credential as an RN than the LPN has. Therefore, you are the superior, not her. If she is in a job title superior to yours, there may be a malfunction in your workplace system and you may need to work elsewhere. If she is practicing beyond her scope without a phsycian telling her to do so, she may be in violation with the Board of Nursing and you should call them and ask. If she is in violation, any number of consequences could occur to her.
You needed to have documented the original problem with the LPN in not sticking to her scope of practice; and of your counseling of her. If you did not, then write it up with dates and times, as best you can, with word-for-word conversations as best you can remember. Document what the administrator said and did, with dates and times. Your administrator may or may not be found guilty of harassment precisely becuase he/she blew it off.
Now, keep a journal with every single mind game and manipulation, etc. beginning today, if you have not already begun one. If you have things written down nearly every day for a week or 10 days, that is a proof of unprefessionalism and personal attack on the job. Take all three of the documentation sets to your HR person or your Union Steward and tell them you will file a formal complaint and then do so with your EEO if no action is taken. Then see an attorney immediately.
If you do nothing, I feel this particular case will get worse.
Best wishes.
Amen! I finally quit after having my health and family suffering. Never enough time to get the work done and co-workers being down right mean and sneaky. I've never been so happy to finally tell them good-bye.
Thanks RGraf - There is so much of this sickness in some of the workplace! CEOs, directors, and managers can stop it early on, but some do not want the confrontation or to lay down the healthy rules. At the same time, some people wish to work only in a place that allows this sickness. Healthy workers do not need the toxic operations. Good for you for going elsewhere.
Check out mobbing and gangstalking on the Internet and see who is doing the bullying, you might be surprised, and there is a book Mobbing in the American Workplace. We get bullied by cops and firemen as well as clerks in City Hall, Social Workers, neighbors, doctors, nurses, postal workers, etc.
I believe that some of this is occuring as you say -- I have also noticed employees bullying customers in some grocery stores.
I work with a woman who is constantly causing problems at WalMart, where I work 3rd shift. She is rude, crude, throws food and bottles in the breakroom. Unfortunately, because work conditions seem less "strict" at night, the behavior is encouraged by other associates and tolerated by management (who are well aware of this behavior). This woman has recently started yelling at me, telling me what to do. She was told before that she is not to tell other associates what needs to be done and to leave this to management, but she can't seem to control her behavior. After yelling at me recently, I told her she's not my boss and has no right to tell me what to do. She responded by telling me to "pull my f***ing weight" and to "kiss her ass". I immediately went to my manager and told him what had happened. He and a CSM sat down and talked with her. Afterwards, they called me in and told me that I shouldn't have argued with her and should have politely told her I was going to talk with management about her behavior. In short, she's still there even though she swore at me in front of several co-workers (something WalMart supposedly claims is a reason for immediate dismissal). Since getting away with this conduct towards me she has succeeded in turning many coworkers against me. She shared the fact that I had gone to management with just about everyone on 3rd shift. In fact, the CSM's regularly discuss private issues with associates in the breakroom. Work has become a source of extreme distress for me. In fact, I was ill for 2 days and missed work because of it. I asked for a transfer to days (which would mean a significant drop in pay), but it seems wrong for me to have to change my job because I'm being harrassed. I'm not the first associate to have this problem. There have been other people who have chosen to either transfer or quit because of this situation. I'd like to know what others think about this and what my options might be. Thanks for any help!
1) Why is management afraid of this person? Have they threated to sue because of race, age, gender, or some such?
2) When you stand up for yourself, people that are afraid to do so are going to turn against you - you have to be strong enough and like yourself well enough to ignore them. However, if anyone does anything wrong or illegal to you, you need to report it to management and you need to start keeping a written log of everything that happens on a daily basis right now.
3) Speak to the managers each time someone undermines your work, curses you, or tries to boss you around - or they might throw somethintg at you, try to trip you, etc. Write down what the managers say in your log. On the third time, tell the managers that you need to file a formal complaint for harassment and go to Human Resources about harassment. Managers CANNOT tell you that you can;t do it, though some might try. If the mgrs begin to harass you, you need to file againwt them as well.
4) Find a lawyer that will give you a free consultation about this.
I don't want to sound rude or prejuiced because I'm not. I've been working with a black woman for 5 months and she resents me. She has worked for the company about 2 years and acts like she is the "total boss". She has been rude & crude to me from the get go. This is an office setting and she sits next to me. She has yelled shut up at me and screamed to the top of her voice. She had an electric heater in there and even though there were countless wall plugs, she chose to plug it in behind my desk and park it in front of my bottom desk drawer so I would have to move it in order to open the drawer. If I move it (even though there is a space between our desks of about 1 foot so there is plenty of room to put the heater without blocking my drawer) then she gets up from her desk and moves the heater back. One day she got up & kicked the heater, one day she yelled at me "don't you touch that friggin heater." I sat for months and let her be mean to me, saying hateful abusive things and it got worse & more often. Then I started saying things back and it really hit the fan. I finally got enough because when the supervisor was in the office, he never stopped her comments and would only "call me down" if I replied back to her. I finally got my fill and went to HR and reported this. Evidently this is a workplace violence incident. HR has done nothing and now they hate me and the supervisor and the co-worker hates me. It has not accomplished anything at all and I am sick & tired of it. I live in a repressed area and there aren't any jobs. Now due to her actions and the fact that the company won't do anything about her (they have chalked me up as the trouble maker for reporting her) they have cut my hours to 25 hours per week knowing I can not survive on reduced hours. Our company policies manual says they have "zero tolerance" for workplace violence. I have never filed a law suit in my life, but I am desperate. I need a 40 hour paycheck and I need a decent workplace environment. I live in Texas and have googled every topic I can think of and can't get decent answers as to what can be done. Please advise
I live in a tiny town and we don't have any support groups so I could learn skills to combat verbal abuse.
Hospitals and churches have groups that can help - support or information groups. Call National Workplace Violence Hotline and ask for a nearby referral 1-877-987-3747
Whatever you do, do not do anything else PHYSICAL or raise your voice again in the workplace or you will jeopardize the case. Get a can of hairspray in case she comes unfomfortably close to you as if she is going to hit you. You can spray it in her face to defend yourself and get away and immedately call police. Do not hisitate to call them if this scenario happens.
Immediately, I would look up attorneys in the yellow pages and find one that takes law suits on contingency. This might be an attorney that has a speciality in employment law. If you can't find any, call the biggest law firm you see in the book and call and ask them to refer you to someone that can help.
However, what she has done to you is assault - a crime. If she screams and puts a heater up next to you, you could be burned. The next time this happens, call the police and do not back down from pressing charges. An attorney might be able to also, in addition to the assualt charges, sue this woamn and the company for damages, In addition, if it is a private company (not a non-profit), the heater up close to you is a willful OSHA safety violation for which the woman and the company might be legally penalized.
IF you are fired in retaliation, apply for Unemployment anyway and site the assault and willful safefty violations. Don't dliute the crimes - call them exactly "assualt and willful safety violations." Then report the company to OSHA. The Unemployment filing on the ground you have and the OSHA report may trigger IRS audits of the company and it might be found that they are in violation of others regulations.
This one could create a news item on TV before it's done.
I was relentlessly bullied as a child and learned how to defend myself as an adult using the rule of law. Good article.
Nopw that people are taking about it more openly in America, I find that many people were bullied as children. Glad you like this article -- we can continue to stand up to bullyism and be an example to others, while teaching children to do the same. Thanks for your visit and comment!
I am working for a Technology Co. and over the years I have been having problems with a co-worker who everyone knows has a relationship with the COO. She has made my life a living hell as well as others, however, because her work affects mine, I always respond to e-amils etc. and there is always a confrontaion. The issue is the COO picks up the matter and tries to belittle me. He wanted to fire me a long time ago but couldn't touch me because the CEO knows I am a much needed employee. loyal and looks out for his best interest as well as the copany. The problem is I am becomming fed up of the COO abusive e-mails. My boss the CFO and the CEO keeps calming me down indicating that they are aware of what's happening. The CEO promised that this woman would be fired,but I guess he does not want to "rock the boat" with the COO. I have had it, but cannot quit because I am the sole provider for my family and it's very difficult to find a job in the finance. I have kept all the e-mails and can prove he has never ever been objective in any incident with this "woman". What advise can you provide?
1) Make at least three hard copies of your documentation, keep one at home, another in a bank safe deposit box, and another in your file with your attorney. Computer files at work are read and erased by any that would stop you, hard disks corrupt, but flash drives are safest. Still, get hard copies that a judge can see without wasting time computer accessing.
2) Continue to document everything related to this descrimination and harassment, including a log of related conversations with the CFO and CEO. Thsi is important. Their calming you down may or may not be to avoid a possible lawsuit, provided you have enough grouds -see #3 below.
3) If you have not consulted with an attorney, quietly do so immediately and make sure it is an attorney specializing employment. Do exactly as he tells you.
Best wishes and good working in the future!
The EEOC in Chicago is no better than many - with guidelines that defy common sense and a fallout into the legal community that has had 2-3 private attorneys nicely turn down my case because I do not qualify as a victim: male, white, 60 yoa. In effect I went to the EEOC with emails and other tangible proof that management recruited a new, 23 yoa female employee to confirm that I had sexually harrassed her. It was totally untrue but the EEOC investigator said that his agency had "no criteria specifically dealing with a company management recruiting one employee to file a false complaint against another". This is truly what happened and yes, as others have commented, it truly is a matter of people with poor education, poor skills, no work etchic and an absence of backbone, using the system to drive older, proven professionals out of the work place.
-- Which adds credence to the reality that a small group in DC might wish to stop healthcare to people at age 70/75 at the same time increasing retirement age to 75.
DB Chicago - Your tanglible proof should have brought action. I would personally take the case on television and/or approach a high profile attorney that would take the case as an expose.
Best wishes.
I work at a bank, and I am always getting the short end of the stick. The lady who sits infront of me is always lying on me. but becuase of my personally my supervisor started to call me names such as sorty and my manager is laughing at me. Can anyone please hellp me to sue my co-worker and my supervisor? I need a lawyer. email address is manager104@hotmail.com
You cannot sue until you go through the proper EEO procedures listed above in the thread.
If you are too frustrated to do that, see an employment attorney and do what he/she says to do.
I decided not to renew my contract where I am now because of bullying by some in management. Unfortunately, in a foreign country you just have to take it or leave. It's a haven for bullies as they know that there are no repercussions
What an unfortunate event. I suppose the only way out is to form your own company and be a non-bullying boss. A haven for bullies is not a good place.
While bullying research is being done for Aouth Africa, it will not help people on the job until more is done and a national initiative arises. You could become part of that if there are support groups at all in your country. Grassroots support among people that are targetes would create a foundation for anti-bully programs to succeed when they emerge (maybe not for many years). Here's one study about students:
They have unions in South Africa so they do sort out bullies and you can report them. However, I live in China and we have no recourse
Sorry! -- You're on our prayer list, then. May of my friends that were missionaires, teachers, or busness people came back from Beijing either mentally stunned or physically ill from the polution. It's not for everyone and cultural differences aside, brutal workplace behaviors are very real.
We suffer from throat infections and ongoing post-nasal drip from the pollution. But, it's the hoiking and spitting that gets me the most!
Oh yes, that seems a country-wide habit, as is small children defecating in the streets in Beijing (seen the videos, heard the horror stories). Do they still have spitting basins on the lobby walls of major hotels in Beijing or other cities?
yeah, but most people don't use them, they just spit on the ground outside or into a tissue if they inside. And the split-pants instead of diapers, they just hold the kid over the gutter!
Do you take gamma globulin injections to prevent infections? Probably not available.
Nope, just suffer through it, but I leave here in June, start my next contract in Tanzania in July!
Sounds like going to heaven from hell. You'll be in my best thoughts in the meantime!
Thanks Patty!
Dee Dee says:
2 years ago
I am out of work right now due to office abuse. Most people do not want to admit to being bullied. I wish we could change the name of this type of abuse from workplace bullying to office abuse. Giving the abuser the title of bully seems to make the victim more of a victim. Bullys are never taken seriously how about we call the abuser what they are and abuser. Schools have bullys workplaces have abusers of power. More people may come forward if there is a different label attached to this conduct.