Burned Out? Frazzled?

Step Out of Burn Out!

Keep Away From the Fire With These 12 Steps!

Are you getting hot about your workplace? Ticked off at the family? Mad at the dog? Furious with the cat? Wiped out with politics? Stressed by the budget?

Join the crowd. Most of us live in the ring of fire so often we've turned pink. If the buck stops with you most of the time, a normal result will be the feelings of stress and even depression. You just want to run away!!

I know it feels hopeless, which makes you feel helpless, but there really are some things you can do to put peace back into your life, zip into your step, and a smile on your face.

First, rotate your shoulders in a roll forward and back for 10 times, take 5 cleansing deep breaths, turn your neck to the left slowly as far as you can and then to the right 4 times. Then, don't go to sleep yet, just read on.

I'll save the lecture of how this all happened for later. Besides, you didn't over extend yourself on purpose. It happens to us one day at a time. We say "yes" to one task, and then "yes," what's one more? And, then, "yes" to family, "yes" to corporate, "yes" to spouse or friend (not necessarily the same, ha), "yes" to church/community club, until you find yourself dead tired and can't sleep.

We can stop. We can do many things, and keep our sanity.

Let's keep it simple.

1. Take care of your body. What are you eating? What are you watching on TV? What are you listening to? Do you ever allow silence in your life? How about sitting in a quiet place inside or out and just observing nature?

Think and make changes for physical well being first. When we run on adrenalin all the time, or don't eat regularly and with healthy food choices, we're courting disaster. What is enough sleep for you? Are you walking 1 - 3 miles per day? Start with those changes. It will make a huge difference in your life and attitude.

2. Plan an hour a day for doing nothing. Not even TV if you don't want to. What's important to you that you've left out of your day? Put it back in for an hour. It will make you more energetic for the other tasks.

Pay yourself First with the three "R's:" Relax, Refresh, Replenish. Find something that will do all three of those for you every single day. It needs to be a routine, not a "if I have time" task. Don't keep pushing yourself. Do keep regular business hours that involve breaks. I have found many answers to puzzling work or life problems during 15 minute breaks or hour lunches. I bet you have as well. We KNOW what makes the day easier, but we are hard on ourselves, holding our breath until the next task is done.

When have you had a day off? Unfortunately, this is not my strong point. I take time off and "karma" sees to it that I don't enjoy it and am interrupted almost every single time. Why? Why me? I think it's because I don't work as hard at planning my time off as I do getting work completed. If we take our R & R time seriously, we'll get the new attitude we so desperately need during our daily living. Just do it!

3. Get back in touch with the things you value. Is your work what you want it to be? If not, why not? Is there some change you can make, or do you need to change jobs eventually? Ask yourself: "What's missing for me? Am I compromising my own happiness and values? What can I change? What must I accept? If you do accept it, then quit worrying and fretting about it. Use self talk to change that habit.

What are you merely tolerating? Re-arrange your priorities. If you are putting in more time at work than you are getting paid or rewarded for, make a change and decide to not continue to be taken for granted. You are not doing your company a favor if they are assigning work for 8 hours, that can only be done in 12; and you are letting them think you are getting the job done in the 8. Kapish? If you work for yourself, you're in control. Working beyond the reasonable to get the company going is not necessarily guaranteed to bring about the growth or changes you need. Make the choices you want to make by honoring what's important for you. Everyone needs a certain amount of pleasure in the day. Are you a workaholic? Is it working for you?

4. Think out of the box and challenge yourself consistently. If work has become a chore or you're in a rut, try spicing things up a bit! Can you rearrange your office and decorations? Is it conducive to thinking and working? Think of one new way to present your project, change your view, or build a relationship. Refresh the mundane. Can you create a new product or services to add to your offering? How could you improve performance, or perk up what you do best and make it even better, and thereby give you peace of mind? If we work smart, with the goal of giving back to ourselves at the same time, we can find more time in the day for us, by investing in an important commodity, YOU! It's a necessary piece of your time.

5. Establish realistic expectations for what you can and cannot accomplish. By saying yes to the impossible, we are actually setting ourselves up for failure. Setting high goals is great, but keep it real. If you find that you're driving yourself or your employees too hard, it may be time to let go of unrealistic expectations and re-adjust. Can you see signs of distress in those around you? Our attitudes are so contagious! Are people avoiding you? Are they frowning when you speak? Are we giving that impression of "hurry, hurry, hurry? Paying attention is hard to do, but we need to build that skill. Step out of the rest, and look at what's in front of you. Let your lists bring you back to other tasks. And, shorten that to-do list! Cut yourself some slack when needed and know when to let up on others.

6. Learn how to communicate clearly. Spend some time learning how to resolve conflicts, if this is not a strong skill for you. It will eliminate stress and burn out when bumps and burps in the workday are few or settled quickly. If you leave conflicts to resolve them selves, expect an explosion. Most often real disagreements don't get better when left alone. Instead, they just simmer, waiting to boil over when you least expect it. Take a deep breath, list the points you want to make, and get the discussion going. Teamwork in the office, isn't an event, it's a process, just like in families. Let people know what you expect from them, and ask them what they expect from you. Be brief, clear and concise with what you say, and how you say it. Keep your tone even, calm, and authoritative. Model good listening skills as others talk and they will imitate.

7. Manage your time, including what time you schedule for yourself. Poor time management is another thing we do that leads to burnout. Develop regular business hours for yourself. Make appointments with yourself to get things done - and keep them! The other day, I got my hair done before work. I felt great all day. Simple gifts to yourself pay big dividends. Being on time counts, show up promptly for appointments and expect others to do the same. Keep the schedule loose enough for unexpected events.

8. Stop blaming yourself or others. When something goes wrong, turn the moments into lessons. If you're playing the "wudda, cudda, shudda" game, you're living in a negative spot. Be solution oriented. Use those moments to teach!

My assistant recently mishandled a customer who was trying to pay his bill. During my explanation to her of how it should have been handled, she made the remark, "I didn't know." Gently, I said, "The underlying thought for any given event, whether explained before or not, is this: ‘Satisfy the customer.' We can handle the rest later. How would you have wanted to be treated? Do the reasonable, and then some. Hot is 111 degrees. Boiling is 112. That one degree of difference, is the difference between being like everyone else, or actually "cooking." It can pay huge benefits! We don't want to be ‘okay' or ‘average' and we never want to push the customer into the ‘later' zone."

I hope she got it. No one can afford to lose a customer. Teach the skills you want to others to have, and exhibit them.

9. Value yourself! Establish boundaries and set limits. If you allow yourself to be constantly interrupted, you will be. This is something I struggle with daily. I always want to please. I have decided to push myself to the 112 boiling degree, the degree that makes the difference, and let others handle work when I'm gone. I don't have to make all the decisions. If I do, then I have not taught others how to do the job. Are you territorial? That will put you in the burnout zone quickly!

I have asked my assistant to not call me unless it's extremely important. That means an emergency, almost. Actually, it means "call me to avoid the emergency," but don't have near crashes all the time. Teach your family and fellow workers to think on their own! Don't give away too much of your time. Learn how and when to say no. My assistant is quickly getting the idea that our day off, means just that: not here, not available, take a message. I will back her on reasonable decisions, just do it.

10. Deal with your emotions. Don't blow up, but speak and take care of the issue, today. Are you boiling at 112 degrees about something but saying nothing? Look out! What happens to boiling liquid if the lid is on?? It blows up or spills over, landing unpredictably everywhere.

11. Laugh, smile and enjoy the ride! Life is a journey, are you looking out the window? Smile along the way. It's ok. Life is too short to worry and be serious all the time. Can we please have fun at work, or in the home, or during homework, or while cleaning out the garage? Plan rewards for finished projects, it's great closure!

12. Need help? Ask. Two heads are better than one. Bring others into the scene! It lightens the load. Travel lighter, feel better, enjoy your life. It was meant to be so. Man is, that he might have joy. Do you?