Bury Your Cigarettes

You have decided to quit smoking. You have set a date. Nicotine patches are ready. Commitment is made. You are really going to do it this time. Not like the past ten attempts. You have covered all the bases. You are ready. Finally. To let go.

It is time to have a funeral for your cigarettes. Yes.That's correct. You are loosing a close friend. This friend has been with you for years, and the sooner you admit how much you love them and how hard it will be to live with out them the better off you will be.

They have been with you for so long.

• When your first love fell for your best friend, your smokes were there to help you contain your anger.
• When you lost your job, they were there to pick you up.
• When you were sad, they soothed your broken heart.
• When you lost someone you loved, they helped you stuff your grief deep within you and move on.
• They were there when you were happy.
• They helped you celebrate with a drink.
• You enjoyed their company with a cup of coffee, in the cold outside your office building.
• When you were stressed, they eased your troubled mind.

All along, and now, at this moment, they are killing you.

The ultimate betrayal. The kiss of Judas. Something you have depended on for so long and loved so loyally is killing you.

It is you or them.

Dig a hole. Make it deep. And put in that last pack and your lighter too.

Give a little speech. Something like this:

My dear Parliament Menthol Lights (insert your brand), I remember the first time we met. You were so refreshing. I have always loved how you made me feel. Over time we have grown apart and although I love you and will miss you, you make it impossible for me to hold on any longer. I have a life to live and I want it to be long. Goodbye, my friend, we will not meet again.

Now cover them with dirt and have someone strong roll a rock over them.

You may feel, over the coming weeks, great loss. You may need to find a healthy way to deal with your emotions without the crutch of your old friend. You may need to run up two flights of stairs to remind yourself what they did to your lungs. You may need to lay on the bathroom floor and cry it out.

And then you may need to look in the mirror, and notice you look a little better, somehow. Take a deep breath. Yes. you actually can breath a little deeper. Smell your clothes. They smell like - clothes - not smoke. Are your teeth looking whiter yet?

And now that the pain is dissolving away, try those stairs again. Getting easier? You aren't coughing anymore. You feel like exercising.

You glance back at the spot where you left your old friend, and yeah, you miss them a little still. But not enough to go back. They are where they belong and you won't be joining them anytime soon.